Question of the Week: Future

Given the ability to project yourself into the future but not return, would you do so? If not, would you change your mind if you could take someone along? How far would you go?

I can actually get behind this theory of time travel. If time travel were possible, my thought is that it would only be possible to move forward in time, not backward. And I absolutely would want to make that journey, whether I could take someone or not. Sure, it would be nice to know someone once I got to the future. Either way, I think it would be fun. In fact, I'm in a pretty good position to go by myself anyway. I don't have a wife or kids that are depending on me to be in the present, which means I won't miss seeing my own children growing up. I'll miss the friends and family I have now, but I would be sure to say my goodbyes before I made my quantum leap.

Can I go ahead and assume that if I can make the jump ahead in time once that I can do it multiple times? 'Cause here's what I'd like to do: Before I leave, I'd put all my savings into an account that would gain a great deal of interest over a long period of time. This is the part where I'm planning ahead. First I want to go ahead a few months and see if Community gets a chance to finish the season, or even gets picked up for a fourth season. Then I'd jump ahead a few more years, stopping to see how all of my friends are doing and find out what I've missed in the last few years. Then I'd go ahead and jump 100 years into the future. By then I should have some pretty good interest built up. I'd say I'll have enough to retire by 2111, but with inflation being what it is, I may not be able to. I'd travel a little, read up on the rest of the history of the 21st century, but eventually I'd probably want to keep going. My curiosity would get the better of me. I'm not saying I'd want to go all the way to AD 802,701 like the guy in The Time Machine, but I think it might be cool to see what the 31st century looks like. Is the Price is Right still on? Do people even still watch TV? Are the Yankees still playing? Does baseball even still exist? These are the questions that will haunt me now until I figure out a way to make this trip into the future.

*Question of the Week comes from The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.

Viral

Wow! It has been a crazy couple of days here.

Now, you probably read that with a note of enthusiasm. Don't let the exclamation point fool you. It was false bravado.

I've been really sick for about three days. Today I feel like I'm finally pulling myself up out of the valley of the shadow of death. Well, the valley of kinda wishing I was dead anyway. It's been rough.

I'll spare you the details. Thank you notes can be sent via the comments section below.

I know I promised a recap of the epic road trip that I experienced last weekend. It will come. I promise. But, for the better part of this week, all I've been able to think about was how sick I've been and how I wished it would just go away and let me feel better.

These viruses are not to be taken lightly. I took it lightly when I went to work on Tuesday. I wasn't feeling great, but I just wrote it off as not having caught up with myself from the weekend. You know how you can get when you spend three days on the road, right? It's not quite the same as having jet lag, but it can still be pretty rough.

And then they sent me home. That's right, I had people at work telling me how terrible I looked. When more than one person suggested that I should take a half day and leave early, I started to think it was a pretty good idea. I'll be honest, I was feeling pretty miserable. And it was starting to move beyond just being tired and lacking sleep.

So I left. And I haven't been back since. Which really sucks. Because it means that I had to quarantine myself to my bedroom for the past 48 hours. I'm sure my roommates appreciate me staying in my room and only emerging to make a dash for the bathroom.

I've made sure to keep a can of Lysol handy. I've tried to disinfect wherever I've been. I don't want my roommates to come down with what I had. 'Cause here's something I've dealt with in the past. I would be the first person in the house to get a cold, then it would make its way through my various family members, and by the time they were all done with it, it would mutate just enough to be different and then infect me all over again. That's not happening this time.

I got sick. I'm getting over it. I'm going to work tomorrow and I'm not gonna get sick again. I'm done for this cold and flu season. Do you hear me common cold? That's right, I've got your number. This flu may have kicked my butt, but I kicked back.

On the plus side of things, I did manage to get myself in the shower today. I shaved. Because I looked in the mirror when I finally crawled out of bed and realized that I looked like I was about to audition for the role of Ghost of Christmas Future. All I needed was a heavy black hood to complete the look.

A Scene From the Weekend

As a glimpse into this past weekend, I'm giving you a taste with a scene from Saturday night.

During the Big Ten Championship game, the Charlatan and I decided to head down to concessions to get a little something to quench our thirst. While we were there, the Charlatan decided to get a soft pretzel. The exchange went a little something like this:

Charlatan: Can I get a Coke in the souvenir cup and a soft pretzel?


Counter Girl: Okay. Do you want some cheese to dip the pretzel in?


Charlatan: Is it any good?


Counter Girl: Oh, yeah, it's good cheese.


Charlatan: Sure, why not? (Counter Girl puts the cheese in a tiny dipping cup)


Counter Girl: Okay, that's another $1.25 for the cheese.


Charlatan: WHAT?! I thought the cheese was free!


Counter Girl: (laughing) Yeah, it's $1.25 for the cheese.


Charlatan: I see what you did there. Well played, Counter Girl. Well played.

The above exchange is not verbatim. But it pretty much went down like that. Stay tuned. There will be a more complete story of how the weekend went in the coming days. Spoiler alert: it was freakin' awesome.

Unorthodox

This week has been a little unorthodox for me. And if you haven't enjoyed reading my thoughts on all those AFI Top 100 movies, I apologize. It's just that, well, I made that New Year's resolution to watch all 100 of them and I know there's no way that's going to happen at this point. I'm not even halfway there yet. So I figured that I would make a dent in it by spending a week watching and writing about them.

And then there's the fact that I skipped the Question of the Week. Not that anyone ever leaves their answers, but I always have fun responding to the questions.

But here's the thing, I'm kind of out of town at the moment.

Right after work yesterday, I drove back into Roanoke, picked up the Charlatan and Subway, headed to Bluefield to get the Other Single Guy and then made the long drive to Columbus, Ohio. Why? I'm glad you asked. Because Columbus is our midway stop on our way to... wait for it... Indianapolis.

Tonight is the first ever Big Ten Championship Game and the four of us decided to pile into Half Pint to come up and see the game. Expect a full report once I've gotten back home and had time to process things. In the meantime, enjoy your weekend. It's about time for a continental breakfast.

AFI 66 - Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost Ark

1981

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Netflix sleeve: When Dr. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)--the tweed-suited professor who just happens to be a celebrated archaeologist--is hired by the government to locate the legendary Ark of the Covenant, he finds himself up against the entire Nazi regime. Creative minds Steven Spielberg and George Lucas created a classic with this all-time favorite, which spawned a series of commercially successful sequels and a short-lived TV show.

Is it wrong that I already considered this to be one of the most awesome movies of all time? If it is, I don't care. 'Cause I do consider this to be one of the most awesome movies of all time. The guy teaches a subject that a lot of people would probably consider boring. I wouldn't, because I love history. But history classes tend to go under appreciated. But he also walks around wearing a fedora and carrying a bullwhip. Yeah, I dare you to call his class boring. To his face, I mean. And if you think you can outdo him with a sword, don't try. He'll just shoot you.

AFI 67 - Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

1966

Directed by Mike Nichols

Netflix sleeve: On a serene New England campus, emasculated professor George (Richard Burton) and his rancorous wife, Martha (Elizabeth Taylor), turn an evening of cocktails into an unrelenting onslaught of wrenching disclosures and bellowed epithets. Soon, the couple's guests--junior professor Nick (George Segal) and his wife, Honey (Sandy Dennis)--get sucked into the vortex of the warring duo's unbounded fury. Taylor nabbed an Oscar for her role.

Sorry, I just didn't get this one. Maybe I wasn't fully paying attention as I watched, but to me, it just seemed to be about a highly dysfunctional couple who only added to their gross dysfunction by ingesting mass quantities of alcohol. I did feel sorry for their friends who were forced to spend the evening with them. This film just didn't do anything for me. I won't be adding it to my "must buy on blu-ray" list.

AFI 68 - Unforgiven

Unforgiven

1992

Directed by Clint Eastwood

Netflix sleeve: Retired gunslinger William Munny (Clint Eastwood) reluctantly takes one last job--and even more reluctantly accepts a boastful youth (Jaimz Woolvett) as a partner. Together, they learn how easily complicated truths are distorted into simplistic myths about the Old West. Gene Hackman (who won an Oscar) and Richard Harris stand out as old foes who have an unhappy reunion. The film also earned Oscars for Best Picture and Best Director (Eastwood).

There are few westerns that I can actually say that I like. This turns out to be one of them. Maybe it's just that I like westerns better than I believe I do, I just never give too many of them a shot. I liked Tombstone. I liked 3:10 to Yuma. But in all, I'd bet I've only seen about a dozen westerns. Anyway, Unforgiven is one of those movies that I always said I would get around to seeing and I just never got around to it. Until now. And I'm glad I did. Not landing in my top 10 or anything like that, but still, a movie worth seeing.

AFI 69 - Tootsie

Tootsie

1982

Directed by Sidney Pollack

Netflix sleeve: Few actors go as far to bag a part as Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman), who transforms himself into a woman to prove he can get hired on a soap opera. But Michael has an enviable problem when his alter ego, Dorothy, becomes daytime television's hottest ticket. His pretty co-star (Jessica Lange) has no idea that her dear friend Dorothy is a man--and neither does the actress's father (Charles Durning), who falls for Dorothy hook, line and sinker.

My mother couldn't believe that I had never seen this movie before. I think it may be one of her favorites. I mean, it was pretty good, but it won't be one of my favorites. The disc for this one actually came to me while I was still in North Carolina and preparing for my move back to Virginia. So mom was there with me when I watched it. She kind of insisted that we watch it, actually. Not one of the ones on this list I was particularly looking forward to, but you know what? It was better than I expected. I mean, what's not funny about Dustin Hoffman in drag?

AFI 70 - A Clockwork Orange

A Clockwork Orange

1971

Directed by Stanley Kubrick

Netflix sleeve: In this Stanley Kubrick classic based on Anthony Burgess's novel, teenage miscreant Alex DeLarge (Malcolm McDowell) wanders aimlessly amid a bleak, futuristic urban landscape, drinking drugged milk and listening to Beethoven with his fellow "droogs." But he also spends his time stealing, raping and beating innocent people in nihilistic orgies of violence, all in an attempt to get his nightly kicks.

Uh... That movie was effed up. I think that I was ill prepared for just how disturbing this picture was. Before this, my earliest exposure to Malcolm McDowell was when he was the bad guy in Star Trek: Generations. His Star Trek villain pales in comparison to the psychopath he plays in this thing. I need to figure out some way to get the shower to reach my brain so I can scrub out these images.

AFI 71 - Saving Private Ryan

Saving Private Ryan

1998

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Netflix sleeve: As U.S. troops storm the beaches of Normandy, three brothers lie dead on the battlefield, with a fourth trapped behind enemy lines. Ranger captain Tom Hanks and seven men are tasked with penetrating German-held territory and bringing the boy home. Steven Spielberg and cinematographer Janusz Kaminski paint a harrowing picture of the price of war and heroism--one that netted them Oscars for Best Director and Best Cinematography, respectively.

This is another one that I've seen more than once, and I've loved it every time I've seen it. This movie is epic and gritty and, I assume, incredibly realistic in its portrayal of life on the frontlines of Europe during World War II. Not that I can authenticate its realism, I wasn't actually there. I saw this in the theater when it came out, and was actually on a blind date at the time. That really didn't help me to appreciate the film at the time. Mostly I was just hoping it would end soon so I could get on with my life and not have to deal with the awkwardness of that date anymore. I didn't fully enjoy the movie until it came out on video several months later. Still, a very moving movie.