How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

Today was a long day. I spent most of it in the car driving to and from Bluefield. By the end of the road trip, I was hungry, I had a headache, and I really had to get to a bathroom.

Then I got home and found out some pretty bad news. Jennifer Love Hewitt got engaged. It's one of those things that I knew was bound to happen eventually, but I always hoped it'd be me that popped the question. Okay, not really, but now I can't even have that false hope anymore.

It's not the first time a girl has broken my heart. This is worse than when I found out Sarah Michelle Gellar married Freddie Prinze, Jr. Well, I guess I still have Carrie Underwood. I'll get over it.

Christmas Comes Early For Charlie Brown

Tonight ABC showed "A Charlie Brown Christmas." Of course, I watched. It's a classic. It's one of those things that I watch every year at this time of the year. Others include Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, and It's A Wonderful Life. But tonight we'll focus on the Peanuts gang.

You've seen this cartoon, right? I love it. It's always nice to have Linus remind us of the true meaning of Christmas. It's also nice to continually wonder how that Pigpen kid kicks up a cloud of dust while ice skating. What's that about? Take a bath, kid!

Something else I really like is how the whole gang knows to take a collective breath while "loo looing" Hark the Herald Angels Sing. They don't even have a music conductor to direct them.

And how in the world do you decorate a tiny little twig of a tree by simply waving your arms in front of it? I wish I could do things just by waving my arms frantically. Let's say I don't feel like taking a shower. I'd just look in the mirror, flail about wildly, and poof! Ready for class.

Sorry I haven't written for awhile. I really don't have an excuse. Unless, maybe I've been trying to identify with the Writer's Guild, who is on strike right now. But I'm not in the Writer's Guild. I'm not that good of a writer. Maybe I've just been in a funk because of the strike, and knowing that my favorite TV shows will be ending early this season. It's sad.

The Next Contestant

This morning between classes I was sitting in my living room watching The Price Is Right. I had to laugh when they called down one of the first contestants. The name was pronounced "Kay Anne Pepper." Does anyone else think that's remarkably close to Cayenne Pepper? As a parent, how could you do that to your kid?

What am I talking about? I'm just jealous that I didn't come up with that funny name first.

Am Me Stoopid?

I'm in seminary. I'm taking classes on the graduate level. I always considered myself a somewhat intelligent individual. No genius, by any stretch of the imagination, but smart enough to do will in all previous incarnations of school. That is, when I apply myself. See, I figured out during high school that I could get by on Bs and Cs without studying, so why study? Well, now I'm studying. Applying myself, and some of this stuff I just don't get.

For example: I'm reading a very old work by Anselm of Canterbury and it's going right over my head. Maybe not right over my head. It's way over my head. This is for my class in Church History, the subject that was my concentration for my BA at Bluefield. Yet as I read the things that this guy wrote, I'm completely at a loss. Here's a short passage from Anselm's Proslogion:

Therefore, if that, than which nothing greater can be conceived, exists in the understanding alone, the very being, than which nothing greater can be conceived, is one, than which nothing greater can be conceived. But obviously this is impossible. Hence, there is no doubt that there exists a being, than which nothing greater can be conceived, and it exists both in understanding and in reality.

Okay, is it just me or is that really confusing? That's just one paragraph of one chapter of this work that I need to summarize, figure out the main point, and agree or disagree. Seriously, if anyone gets what this guy is talking about, help a brother out.

Spoiler Alert

Tonight I thought I would write a little something about How I Met Your Mother. This episode was pretty good, revolving around the revelation of flaws in each of the main characters and how that effects the way they look at each other.

For example, Lily points out to Robin that it's annoying how Ted always corrects people. She never noticed it during the time they were dating, but as she looked back, she realized Lily was right. Other spoiler alerts included Lily eating really loudly (even cotton candy), Marshall singing about whatever task he's performing, Robin saying the word "literally" all the time, and Barney using annoying catchphrases constantly. What was clever, was the sound of glass shattering every time the spoiler was revealed. What started this domino effect of spoilers? Ted was dating a girl who never shut up, but he just didn't see it... 'til Marshall pointed it out.

Has that ever happened to you? You're friends with someone, or dating someone, and you don't see any flaws. Then, all of a sudden, someone else points it out, and then that's all you notice. It's usually a deal breaker.

At the end, Ted mentioned that he ran into the girl again three years later. Here's the real spoiler alert from the episode. At least in my opinion. Would you assume that the main character of a show titled How I Met Your Mother would be married to that mother in three years (which will be year 5 of the show)? I would too. However, there was still no wedding ring. Hmmmm... Was that a mistake? Or is it deliberate? Now I have to wait 3 years to find out. Crap.

Sharing Germs

To the man that sat behind me in chapel this morning: cover your mouth from here on out. There are few things more uncomfortable than feeling someone's bronchitis-like cough on the back of your neck.

Let's paint the picture. I was sitting there as today's guest speaker read a few verses of scripture. I was reading along, my head looking down at the Bible in my lap. Suddenly I hear a deep hacking cough directly behind me. Not only did I hear it, I felt it. And the feeling on the back of my neck then traveled in the form of a chill down my spine.

Seriously dude, cough into your sleeve, or at the very least, your hand. That's how the flu is spread. That's why there's likely to be a pandemic someday. 'Cause people don't cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze. They don't wash their hands after touching stuff. That's my advice America. Wash your hands.

Delinquency of a Minor

Last night there was nothing on TV, so I went through some DVDs and decided to watch The Little Mermaid. You've seen it, right? Here's the jist...

Ariel, youngest daughter of Triton, the Sea King, falls in love with a human prince named Eric. So she does what any lovesick mermaid would do. She goes to a sea witch (Ursula) and trades her voice for a pair of legs. The deal is, she has to get Eric to fall in love with her before the sun sets on the third day, or else she reverts to mermaid status and becomes some kind of anthropomorphic seaweed slave of Ursula.

Of course she doesn't make it in time, 'cause where would you find the climactic conflict at the end? But eventually, they all live happily ever after. But I have a problem with this whole thing.

Ariel is 16 years old. She's a minor. What's she doing signing contracts with a sea witch? At the end, Triton tries to destroy the contract, but Ursula claims that it is legal and binding. That's a load of crap. Once again, she's 16! Any contract she signs before she's of legal age is null and void. Come on Disney! Step it up!