Trip to Nashville, Book 2: The Only Ten I See

The reason for going to Nashville at such a random time of the year was for my cousin's wedding. Actually, would he be a cousin? He's the son of my dad's cousin. So what's that? 3rd cousin? 2nd cousin something removed? I don't know. It was my cousin David's wedding.

Anyway, the ceremony took place in a gorgeous cathedral. I'm not Catholic, so I don't get to witness too many of these buildings. But the Catholic cathedrals I've been to... wow. I'm just amazed at the intricacy of all the art and icons. I sat next to my cousin, Jamey, who is also a single guy. And he's a first cousin, so I'm pretty clear on that one.

We sat there during the wedding and looked around the sanctuary, in full Wedding Crashers mode. Okay, maybe not full Wedding Crashers mode. Semi-Wedding Crashers mode. I'm just not that kind of guy. But the point is, I was looking around and noticing the large number of very attractive young women. As I looked, I made the comment that there were a lot more hot girls on the bride's side. The more I thought about that, I became even more relieved. 'Cause it was then that I realized, if they were sitting on the groom's side, that greatly increased the chances that we were related somehow. It's Tennessee... not Kentucky...

Two girls in particular struck my fancy. The first I noticed was the guest book girl, who we'll call "The Greeter" since I never got her name. Absolutely gorgeous. But she was there with a boyfriend. That one was over before it ever began. And please, if The Greeter had been there alone, I still wouldn't have gotten her name. Try to remember who you're reading about here.

The second will be known only as "Candy Striper." I call her that because she was wearing a dress with pink and white vertical stripes. Looked like a candy striper to me. I first saw her at the reception when I went out to the hallway to check my voicemail. She was on the phone having a heated conversation with, what I can only assume was, a significant other. I mean, she's yelling and in tears. Remember that I had recently viewed Wedding Crashers in preparation for such an occasion. Immediately I'm flashing in my mind to me with my arm around her consoling her while she cries on my shoulder. And then I cleared my mind of that non-event and went back to the party. Good times.

So the moral? Acting like the guys from Wedding Crashers will never happen for me, no matter how much I may pretend I want to.

In reality it was a good time. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Peck.