Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode LXXXI

I have no doubt that I've mentioned the ridiculous conversations that some customers feel the need to have whenever they come into the bank. And it's because it's such an obvious problem in America.

See, there are a lot of people out there who have this incredible urge to fill a silent moment with mindless chatter about any little thing that could possibly enter their brain. But most of those people have a really hard time coming up with something interesting to say.

Myself, I have plenty interesting things to say. Not all of them would be polite or even deemed appropriate for social situations. But I'm also not one of those people that feels that silence between two complete strangers is a terrible thing.

For the ones that have to talk and can't come up with anything original, it's a pretty good thing that the weather changes every so often. If it clouds up one day, and looks as if it may rain, well that gives a couple dozen people a great conversation starter. If it's clear and cool, well those same people feel the need to point that out too.

But these days, it's hot. For long stretches of several days (that feel like several weeks) the weather persists with the heat and the humidity. And roughly a hundred people, on each of those days, feel that it's their place to let us, the bank employees, know just how hot it is outside. And what's great is that, many of those people make the bank run on a daily basis. So they'll tell us tomorrow just how hot it is too.

Now, that logical and reserved part of me that knows that, even though I hate my job, it wouldn't be good to get fired for being sarcastic with one of my customers. But I so badly want to pull out the sarcasm when someone tells me it's hot outside.

"What? It's hot outside? Hey! Everybody! Captain Obvious, here, wants us all to know that it's hot outside. We should all thank him for his meteorological insights." Then I'd start clapping. Then my face would turn into one of utter revulsion. Then I'd call him a moron.

But I'm pretty sure that kind of thing could get me fired. Don't wanna do that at this juncture. If I'm gonna fired from my job, it's not gonna be because I mouthed off to some random person that I'll probably never see again.