Saturday, May 07, 2011

Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode XCVIII

The last couple days have been interesting. I mean, it's been fairly typical. I still work the drive through window at the bank. That's not the interesting part. In fact, that's about as uninteresting as you can get.

No, the interesting part comes in terms of my love life. More specifically, my lack thereof. Earlier this week I wrote a post mentioning each of the three women I've taken interest in at one time or another during my stint as a bank teller. In case you need a refresher, we have the Girl in the White SUV, the Hostess, and Spider-Girl. In the last two days, I've happened to see all three of them. This is an odd occurrence with the rarity of planetary alignment.

Thursday morning the Hostess dropped by. This is the one that I've become friends with through Facebook. Thanks to this fact I discovered that she has a boyfriend and they seem quite fond of each other. So I'm perfectly content with not pursuing her at all. At this point, my thoughts concerning her are basically limited to seeing a status update that happens to pop up on my news feed. Or thinking she's pretty when she pulls up to the window. But that can't be helped.

Thursday afternoon I was visited by Spider-Girl. And you'll be pleased to know I got her name. Now, in the interest of anonymity, I'm gonna keep that to myself. I just felt that I should share that I did ask and she did introduce herself. I did mention that I'd been calling her Spider-Girl, which got a laugh. FYI, she informed me that she found and killed the spider that had been plaguing her car for days. Good to know that disaster was averted.

Yesterday, the Girl in the White SUV surprised us all by coming to our little corner of the world. Things were slow and I was reading, as I sometimes do when I get bored. Because my head was buried in a book, I missed the e-mail from my assistant manager letting me know that he was pretty sure he saw the White SUV in question pull into the parking lot. He was giving me a head's up, just in case I needed to collect myself.

There was a time when seeing this girl would rattle me to my very core. My knees would get weak. My legs would turn to Jell-O. My heart would race and I'd forget how to speak proper English. But I needed no warning yesterday. I'd be lying if I said that seeing her wasn't a shock. After all, she hasn't been to my drive-thru since July of last year. I was fairly certain that by going out on the limb I chose by asking her out through a tasteful bouquet of flowers, I had scared her away from our branch forever.

Yet here she was. Yes, she looked just as beautiful as she had last summer. But I treated her just like I treat every other customer that drives up to my window. Well, not every customer. There are some I really don't like and am really short with. I still stick with my script, but with them I'm usually a lot quicker in saying what I'm supposed to say. With White SUV I was polite and greeted her by name. I smiled and she smiled back. And that's it. I didn't make a fool out of myself by saying something stupid like, "Well, where have you been all this time?"

The assistant manager came over and said he was proud of me for not passing out after seeing her. I looked at him and just said, "Really? It's because I don't care anymore."

And I don't. I don't care where she's been banking for the last 10 months. And I don't care if she decides to start using our branch again on a regular basis. That ship has sunk. If I ever decide to climb out on that particular limb again, the one where I attempt to pursue a girl that happens to be a customer, it won't be White SUV. A simple "no" would have sufficed. She really didn't have to disappear for a year.

In other news, I found out that a 40-something woman has her eye on me. Apparently, yesterday afternoon, one of the other tellers was helping a crazy old lady whom I chose to ignore. Before you gasp at my behavior, calm yourselves. I wasn't ignoring a customer that needed help with something. I just chose to block out whatever conversation she was having with my coworker. Turns out, it was a really good thing I was ignoring that conversation.

This crazy old lady leaned in to ask my coworker if I was single. Not for her. I don't consider 40-something to necessarily be "old." No, she was asking for the woman that was driving her around. I don't know who this woman was, I didn't see her. But apparently she's seen me. And I take it she likes what she's seen. Hard to blame her, I know.

But I don't see that happening. I like to try and stay within my 5-year radius rule. Not sure if I've explained that before. It means I'd be more comfortable with women who are no more than 5 years older or 5 years younger than I am. And I'm sure this is going to come out extremely age-ist or whatever, but I'd probably more likely to bend that rule and go younger than I would to go older. Unless I was bending the rule for Teri Hatcher.

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