This Year's List

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, we are precisely one week away from the 32nd anniversary of the day of my birth. I know what you're thinking... "How could someone so devilishly handsome, yet so devoid of life experience reach such an improbable age?" Believe me, I've been asking myself the same question. But it's true. I was born in 1980. So, if my math is correct, I will be 32 years old as of March 6 of this year.

While you let the knowledge of my unrealistic age sink in, please feel free to peruse this year's birthday wish list.

First: An affordable one-bedroom apartment in the vicinity of Radford, Virginia. The reasons are twofold. For starters, Radford is so much closer to work than Roanoke. I like to drive... just not that much. For finishers, there's been something of a seed planted in my mind. It's a little something that's taken root and is making me think seriously about going back to work on that masters degree all over again. And Radford University has a pretty decent graduate program in the field of education. Think about that... I could be a teacher. I could be a molder of young minds. Listen, I can pay my rent from month to month. That's not the birthday gift I'm asking for. You find me the place, I'll pay for it. Now, if one wanted to take care of my security deposit, I sure wouldn't complain. But I'll leave that up to you.

II: A ticket to see The Hunger Games when it is released on March 23 of this year. Let me specify, the ticket needs to be for a showing that begins at a decent hour. And by decent, I mean a time that is not midnight on a school night. I added midnight openings to my Murtaugh List some time ago. Long before I turned 32. I'm getting too old for that stuff.

3rd: A subscription to National Geographic and/or Entertainment Weekly. I miss getting magazines in my mailbox. I've never had a subscription to National Geographic, but I find the articles in it fascinating. I've done Entertainment Weekly before. Wouldn't mind doing it again. You know me, always into the pop culture.

D: Various gift cards. I'll accept any or all of the classics, which include but are not limited to Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, restaurants and gas stations. Some people complain about gift cards. But I think it's like found money. Which brings me to...

Five: Cash money. I rarely carry cash anymore. But I'd be happy to make an exception for anyone generous enough to give me some for my birthday. Just don't get used to the idea of me having cash on me. It's nice while it lasts, but it doesn't have a tendency to last very long.

Seis: IBC Cherry Limeaid. It's rare that I see this stuff anywhere anymore. I discovered it at the Raleigh area Harris-Teeter stores shortly before I moved back to Virginia. I wish I'd have seen them sooner, so I could have enjoyed them longer. Alas, I did not. I haven't seen these tasty treats anywhere around here in the past 9 months.

Finally: You know I love movies. And I'm always looking to expand my collection of Blu-ray discs. Though I'm pretty sure I wouldn't turn down standard DVDs either. That goes for TV series as well.

That's the wishlist for the 32nd annual birthday of the Single Guy. You've got a week, so please, think carefully about what you're going to get me. And, as always, I thank you.

There won't be a party this year. At least, not that I'm aware of. In the last couple years, anything that's happened in relation to the birthday has been of my doing. And I'm just not doing this time. Maybe next year I'll make a big deal, but not 2012. I know, it could be my final birthday if the Mayans* have anything to say about it. But hey, call me an optimist**. Things are just weird this year. I'm living with people who don't know it's my birthday. I'm working with people who don't know it's my birthday. So I think I'm just gonna keep this one to myself. If you want to say something on the Facebook, I won't turn you away.

*I don't actually believe that the Mayans predicted the end of time.

**Also, don't call me an optimist.