Monday, February 21, 2011

The Single Guy and the Noisy Neighbors

The Single Guy lives in a low rent kind of apartment. It's an awesome apartment, especially for the price he pays. But there is a drawback: neighborly noise.

The walls are pretty thin. And there's really no barrier between the ceiling on one floor and the floor on the next. So to hear the folks upstairs walking around, or hear the neighbors next door playing guitar are issues that the Single Guy has learned to live with. And really, it's not that bad.

Except for one night a few weeks ago. The Single Guy is used to sleepless nights. For years he's dealt with an on-and-off relationship with insomnia. But on this particular night, insomnia was not what kept him up.

Around midnight, the Single Guy began hearing raised voices from the apartment above him. At first he couldn't make out any of the words being screamed. Then, only the cuss words could be understood. Soon, everything became clear.

The couple upstairs were having a knock-down drag-out fight that lasted for several hours, well into the pre-dawn of night. The Single Guy heard yelling, mostly from the lady of the house. This told him that her fella must have done something really bone-headed.

There were several times that the man upstairs was heard begging. He was pleading while she was screaming for him to leave. Whether it was true or not, the man told her that he had no where else to go. And then the desperate compliments began. He showered her with praises along the lines of "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met..." Things of that nature.

Eventually, things quieted down. The Single Guy can only assume that the status quo was returned to normal because he still hears the same TV shows through the ceiling all the time. The man upstairs may have an unhealthy obsession with all things Law & Order. If he had a nickel for every time he heard the classic BUM-BUM, the Single Guy could afford a 2-bedroom in his building.

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