Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode LXXXVI

To the douche bag that came to my drive through window today, claiming that the branch in Garner never gives him a hard time, I feel the need to extend some advice. Next time, feel free to go to Garner!

Scenario: Douche Bag drives up to the window and asks for a blank deposit ticket. That's strike one. Technically, one is supposed to have all of their items prepared before pulling up to the window, but it's one of those policies that we tend to let slide more often than not. Also, to say that he "asked" for a blank deposit ticket is being too kind. Basically he demanded a blank deposit ticket.

At the time, I was helping a customer in the lobby, but was almost finished. So I handed out the blank ticket and completed the lobby customer's transaction. By the time I returned, Douche Bag was ready to have me run his deposit. I pulled in the drawer and my eyes were immediately drawn to the wad of $100 dollar bills sitting on top of the deposit slip.

I picked it all up, felt the weight of it, and read the amount written on the ticket. $5500. That's a lot of money. Now, for security purposes, I'm generally not supposed to accept cash deposits of more than $1000 at the drive-through. I do make exceptions for people when it's necessary. You know, people with handicaps, people with loud and/or obnoxious children that are difficult to wrangle into the branch, things of that nature. Douche Bags in Tahoes with more cash than they know what to do with? They can get their lazy butts out of their SUVs and bring it inside.

Of course he huffed, but he parked and walked in. Once I had finished his deposit, he asked for his balance. Ladies and gentlemen, the powers that be at our bank couldn't care less who makes a deposit into your account, but if you want to make a withdrawal or even get the slightest information, you better be prepared to present some ID. So I asked for his ID. He whined about it being in the car.

This is the part where he raised his voice and complained about how the Garner branch never gives him a hard time like this. I rolled my eyes, probably so he could see it, and turned around and proceeded to print his balance. I was beyond caring at this point. By then, he had made me just angry enough to want to get him out of my face as quickly as possible. If he didn't leave soon, he would be asking to see my manager because I would have said something very rude that would probably have cost my job.

He snatched the receipt out of my hand so fast that I thought I might have a paper cut. I went ahead and wished him a pleasant afternoon in the most polite voice I could muster. I'm getting pretty good at faking a good attitude in front of customers that piss me off.

So, to the Douche Bag, thank you for taking me from what was otherwise a pretty good day to a short time of mindless rage. Enjoy Garner.

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