The Single Guy and the Conditioner

The Single Guy has a soft spot for hairdressers. He kind of always has.

There was the girl that cut his hair in college. This is the one that he insisted looked exactly like Sarah Michelle Gellar, so he would visit her at the mall and pay nearly twice as much as he could have paid the ancient barber with the tremor in is trimming hand.

Then there was the girl that worked at the place inside the Wal-Mart. The Single Guy isn't necessarily a fan of getting his hair cut at the Wal-Mart. Actually, the Single Guy isn't necessarily a fan of getting anything at the Wal-Mart. But the price of the haircut was kind of cheap and the girl that cut the hair a few times was kind of cute. He figured it was worth it.

And, of course, there was the Girl in the White SUV. Not that she ever actually cut the Single Guy's hair. She was one of those high end hairdressers. He worked in one of those expensive hair salons that catered to people in downtown Raleigh. The Single Guy tried once to get an appointment with her, just to convince her to run her fingers through his hair, but it was not meant to be. Totally would have been worth the $60 for a simple trim.

The Single Guy has had a much better time of controlling his crushes these days. Maybe he's matured. But it seems easier for him to just go into a hair-cutting-joint and not just decide that a girl is cute because she massages his scalp. More often than not, he's successful in not developing a crush. He's more talkative these days, so he's usually able to talk to these girls to either realize they have a significant other in their lives or their personalities just would not mesh with his. This helps.

About a month ago, however, he kind of got talked into doing something that he didn't necessarily want to do. The Single Guy has a regular place that he likes to go to get his hair cut. It's a chain that had a location in Wake Forest when he lived down there. Since moving to the New River Valley, he's been pleased to find that there's a location in Blacksburg as well. So that's where he's been going.

Part of the draw isn't just the price that he has to pay. It's the shampoo that they use. Upon finishing with the haircut, the stylist will escort the Single Guy to the back room where there are a few sinks lined up. He's seated in a chair that has a footrest and a massage feature. He leans his head back into the sink and the girl lathers up the most amazing smelling shampoo one could ever hope to experience. It smells like Christmas.

By "it smells like Christmas," what's really meant is that it smells like peppermint. It's a very soothing aroma. And it kind of tingles on the scalp. In a good way. The stylist will not just wash the hair, she'll massage the scalp as well. It's quite relaxing. The Single Guy has threatened to fall asleep on more than one occasion.

Anyway, on that last visit, the girl who cut the Single Guy's hair was kind of cute. He had no desire to ask her out or anything crazy like that, but that doesn't mean she didn't hold some kind of almost irrational influence over his wallet. The Single Guy's first mistake was mentioning how much he loved the smell of the shampoo. Of course, when she asked if he had any at home, he couldn't lie. So he told her that he didn't have any at this time.

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, this shampoo is not cheap. There are bound to be more expensive shampoos out there, but when the Single Guy is used to buying the cheap stuff at the Wal-Mart, the real stuff can pinch the old bank account. So she went on and on about how great the shampoo was. And how great the conditioner was, as well. And how that particular shampoo was on sale that day. And it would be totally worth it to spend $45 on gigantic bottles of shampoo and conditioner. It was a package deal.

Now, the Single Guy doesn't typically do conditioner, unless it's a 2-in-1 kind of thing. You know, you just have the one bottle and the conditioner is magically mixed in with the shampoo. He has a really hard time understanding what the point of conditioner is. But, since he spent so much money on the package deal, he felt that he should give this hair tonic a try. A month later, he's still not sure what kind of difference the stuff has made in his hair.

Today, it became a moo point. Because the Single Guy decided to get rid of all his hair. The reasons are several. The most pressing reason is that he couldn't afford to get a real haircut and he could shave his head for free. So now he has this huge bottle of conditioner and no hair to condition. On the plus side, he still smells like Christmas when he gets out of the shower.