Not Even Close

Well over a year ago a prediction was made. A date was picked and I was told that the chosen date would be my wedding day. Back on March 30 of last year, I even wrote a post about the ridiculous prophecy. But Nicole remained adamant. She claimed that the day in question would come to pass.

Originally she chose October 3 of this year. Somewhere in the past 559 days, the date was changed to October 9. I'm not sure why or how the dates got switched up. October 9th really doesn't make any sense though. I mean, who gets married on a Friday?

It doesn't really matter now though. As I write this, it's October 10. Both chosen dates came and went and I am still a single guy.

Now, I don't want to just blatantly call Nicole wrong. No one likes to know that they're wrong about something. But just because I don't want to doesn't mean that I won't.

I haven't been much help in pushing myself toward wedded bliss either. It's not as if I've made much effort in even dating anyone. But to be fair, neither did my supposed matchmaking friend. She claimed the wedding day would go off without a hitch, but she really didn't do much to set me up with anyone. Not even a mail order bride. Though she did threaten to sign me up for eHarmony once. I don't think that happened either.

It would have been nice to have found myself in front of a church yesterday. Standing there in an awesome tuxedo, watching as Carrie Underwood slowly walked toward me. Alas, we haven't been in contact in some time. I'm beginning to think that particular marriage will never occur. The last communication I received wasn't even from her. It was a notarized letter from her publicist. Something about a restraining order... I don't know. I really didn't pay much attention to it.

So don't worry ladies. I'm still single.

Oh, and I was just kidding about that Carrie Underwood thing. There's no restraining order. She's probably forgotten who I am by now...