Question of the Week: Regret

Have you ever regretted something you did not say or do?

I'd like to boldly state that I live my life with no regrets. To me, regrets are, in my opinion, a waste of time and not worth dwelling on. But just because I'd like to say that doesn't mean it's true. I have no doubt that most, if not all, people have regrets about one thing or another from time to time. I know I've had regrets. But sitting here, typing these words, I can't honestly think of any. Thinking about regrets simply causes us to play a "what if" game. It causes us to dwell on negative aspects of our past. Living in the past gets us nowhere. It's over and done and there's nothing we can do about it. If you're determined to set your mind on past events, then let them be the happy ones. Think about the people and times that have made you smile and laugh and be thankful that those people and events came into your life. Don't regret what could have happened if only you'd done this or refrained from saying that. We've got enough to worry about in the present without dredging up the worries of the past.

Question of the Week: Lifted Spirits

What lifts your spirits when life gets you down?

The short answer: laughter.

It doesn't matter what the problem is. Laughing can either fix the problem or make me forget about it for a while. I'll admit, there are times when I'm really upset, even pissed off at the world, and I just want to wallow in my misery. I'm not sure if that's a symptom of some kind of psychological condition or not, but in those funks I'm resistant to attempts to make me laugh. At times, I'm even a little resentful of anyone who tries to cheer me up. But if people keep at it or show me an episode of How I Met Your Mother, eventually I'll crack.

To anyone who has seen me at my worst and tried to cheer me up, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate your attempts. To those who managed to get through and make me laugh, thanks for not giving up despite my pitiful attitude.

Question of the Whatever: Greatest Fear

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Thankfully, no. I have never seen a random clown standing on the side of the road, staring and waving at me as I drive by. That's my nightmare. This clown is standing there, just waiting specifically for me. Aww man... why'd I have to think about that? Good thing school's been canceled tomorrow due to extreme cold because I sure won't be sleeping tonight.

Question of the Week: Haste

In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing?

Nothing. I don't not see anything. Wait... what?

I actually catch a lot. Pretty good eye sight. Though, with age, I'm discovering that the eye sight is something that's gradually declining. I get it honestly. Both my parents needed glasses. Pretty sure mom has had glasses all my life. I think dad got his in his 30s. Which is right where I am. Maybe it's time to visit the optometrist.

Anyway, I don't usually describe my life as a hasty one. I'm not generally in a hurry. Pretty laid back. Though I guess I do get caught up in the day to day busyness of life and work and what not. So that means I unintentionally make sacrifices.

So what am I not seeing?

I'm not seeing some of the TV shows that I'd like to watch. Ain't nobody got time for that!

I'm not seeing some of the movies I'd like to see in the theater. Ain't nobody got money for that!

I'm not seeing (reading) some of the books I'd like to read. Ain't nobody got time for that!

I'm not seeing the woman I'm gonna marry someday. Ain't nobody got... well, actually... I could make time for that if I could figure out how to have a coherent conversation with a woman. I mean, I can have a coherent conversation with women. Sometimes. Occasionally. But they have to initiate. And they can't expect more than one word responses.

I was just kidding about the thing where I can't initiate a conversation with a pretty girl. I do it all the time. I just have to have something to talk about. I'm not a big fan of small talk.

Question of the Whatever: Defining Moment

What is the most defining moment of your life?

Maybe it's a generational thing, or maybe it's just me. But I'm not good with definitions. I mean, when it comes to vocabulary, definitions are a good thing. I'm just not good about defining myself.

A lot of people I know would probably point to a decision to follow Christ as a defining moment. I agree, as moments go, that's a good one to point to. Even for someone who dislikes definitions. But I still have a difficult time calling myself a Christian. It's a label that I fail to live up to so often. That's my own hang up though.

Some people are defined by career. But I'm not. I love my job, don't get me wrong. But if I lost it tomorrow, my identity wouldn't be shattered.

Still others define themselves by their families. I'm single with no children. And I'm not as close to my relatives as I'm sure anyone would like. Most of that is because I learned long ago that family is defined by more than just blood.

So does that mean I'm defined by friends? Not really, no. I love my friends and I love hanging out with them. Most of the time. But they, for the most part, understand that I also like my alone time.

In all of these things that can define our lives, is there a single moment that I can point to that defines who I am? No. I believe that I've been defined and continue to be defined by all of life's moments as they come and go.

Question of the Week: Impact

What impact do you want to leave on the world?

Well, if I were a asteroid, I'd want to leave a large crater somewhere completely conspicuous. Nothing that can be hidden by forest growth or an ocean. But since I'm not a hunk of space rock, I'm gonna have to settle for the impact I made at the Cascades back in college.

I'd gone to the Cascades with some friends to enjoy a nice little hike on a cool autumn day. Before we hit the trail, we congregated near the restrooms, giving everyone a chance to commune with nature before spending a couple hours communing with nature. So we're just standing around talking when a wasp decided to invade our little group. Particularly, it decided to fly toward my face. Now, I'm not one who likes to get stung in the face. I mean, that's the money maker. Can't have that swelling up from an insect sting. So I backed away. I was slow, but deliberate. I even attempted to talk the wasp down. "I'm gonna back away, wasp. You can fly wherever you want as long as it's not in my face." Unfortunately, I wasn't paying attention to what was behind me. That would be a boulder that was about a foot and a half tall. Came right up to where my knees bend. So when I bumped into it walking backwards, I tumbled backwards. I'm sure it looked hilarious. My head didn't feel hilarious when it hit the gravel and dirt. One of the guys took a picture of the spot where my head made a dent in the ground. That's my impact on the world. You're welcome, Planet Earth.

Question of the Week: Mistakes

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we so afraid to make a mistake?

Mistakes can be viewed as a failure of sorts. And I think it's natural to fear failure. But I'm not sure that the majority of us actually learn from our mistakes. Even people with a great deal of common sense have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again. Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. How many of us are guilty of that? I'm not going to give any personal examples at the moment. I'm not in a self-deprecating kind of mood. As far as I'm concerned, the real fear is not that a mistake will be made, but that I won't learn from it.

Question of the Week: Six Words

Can you describe your life in a six word sentence?

I sure can.

"Believe it or not, I'm awesome."

That was easy. What six words describe your life? Let me know in the comments below.

Question of the Week: Change the World

What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?

Gravity. I like how it keep everything from flying off into space. That would be kind of a drag. But I'd like it to be a little less strong. Or maybe slightly optional. Flying would be pretty awesome. And I'm pretty sure a person can't do that while gravity is doing its job to its fullest extent. I mean, do you ever jump in the air and just feel like the earth has attached an elastic band to your feet. As soon as you get a little bit into the air, you're just pulled right back down. Would it really be so bad to let us go a little higher? Maybe hang out there for a while?

Question of the Week: Life Lessons

What has life taught you recently?

I don't necessarily think that this is something that life has taught me recently. I think it's something I learned a long time ago. Life has just managed to reiterate the point. And that point? Don't worry. More often than not, I don't. In order to drive the point home, I'm going to have to be honest. It's been a rough few months. Mostly, it's been rough on the financial front. I'm sure I've explained before, when there's no school, there's no pay for me. This put me in a bad starting place as summer began, simply because of all the snow days we were forced to endure in the winter. Kind of depleted my savings account. That savings account was supposed to be there to help me out during those weeks of the summer when I didn't have any work. At the beginning of each month, I would look at my budget and wonder, "How is this gonna work?" Somehow, it always did. Sometimes I relied on friends and family to help me make some of the ends meet (to whom I am eternally grateful and, I promise, someday I'll pay you back). Other times, I relied on what, to the outside observer, would appear to be chance or coincidence. To me, it wasn't chance. It certainly wasn't coincidence. As someone who believes in and puts his faith in God, I know that some of those "coincidental" instances in my life this summer were put in my path to get me through a more difficult moment that was on its way. There are a lot of people who look at me and see a laid back kind of person. Not a care in the world. No, that's not always the case. But I really try not to worry. Because I know that, no matter what comes along, God's got my back. And if something doesn't go the way I want it to, that's not too bad either, because it just means He's got a better plan.

Question of the Week: Doing Things

Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right things?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm more concerned about doing the right things. I mean, I do like for things to be done correctly. But I'm not a stickler. I'm pretty laid back more often than not. If someone is helping out with dinner by setting the table, I'm not gonna freak out because they put the salad fork on the left side of the plate. They're being helpful. And, you know what? I don't even know what side of the plate the salad fork is supposed to be on! Is it really that important? I don't think so. Just say thank you to the nice person who decided to rummage through your silverware drawer and throw everything on the table for you. Unless they came in and did this uninvited. Especially if it's not meal time. That's weird. And you should probably invest in a better lock for your door. Because once one stranger gets in and starts setting the table, it sets a precedent. Suddenly you've got people from all over town coming by. "Hey man! I heard you let people set your dining room table for free!" There's no one who won't want to get in on that action.

Question of the Week: Want

What do you want most?

I feel like this is a question whose answer will change throughout life. My heart's desires have evolved even within the last year. Being where I am in my life, I find that I don't want things as much as I did in years past. Though, I've never considered myself to be very materialistic. Not that I don't want things or haven't wanted to own stuff in the past. I just don't like to spend money, so I don't allow myself to afford the stuff. These days, I'm more involved with a church than I have been in years. As a follower of Christ, I have a strong desire to be a friend to anyone who crosses my path. I want to say that I've shown the love of Christ to others. I know I fail at that. A lot. I let my own insecurities and discomfort with circumstances get in the way. But it's definitely what I want the most.

Question of the Week: Stealing

Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong?

That's an interesting question that I feel was answered in large part by Les Miserables. Jean Valjean spent nearly 20 years in prison because he stole a loaf of bread because his nephew was starving to death. While the law says that it's wrong to steal for any reason, we don't exactly live in a black and white world. There are so many shades of gray. And there are other colors, as well. The point is, in a black and white kind of situation, wrong is wrong. But it's also wrong for an innocent child to suffer of starvation, right? If I was on a jury tasked with determining the guilt or innocence of a thief who did the deed in order to feed a starving kid, I'd probably have to vote not guilty. Then I'd go all 12 Angry Men on the rest of the jury 'til they came around to my way of thinking.

Question of the Week: Trait

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

Depends on the other person, I suppose. Though, I guess in general, common sense would be a good one. A lot of people seem to lack that these days. Sometimes I hate being the only person in the room with an ounce of common sense.

Question of the Week: Newborn Advice

If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby's mind, what advice would you give?

I'm thinking of this question all wrong. I want to be able to give a newborn amazing abilities. You know, things like, born potty trained or the ability to tell parents what they want rather than crying to denote every single discomfort. I'm sure there are amazing parents out there who are able to determine exactly what their infant child requires with each nuanced wail. When I hear it, crying just seems like crying. Could be anything, really. But I'm getting way off track. It'd be nice to look back at my own infancy and think about what I'd have liked to have known then that I know now. I can't really think of anything useful in my adult or even childhood years that makes me think, "Gee, I really could have used that bit of information when I was 6 months old!" Advice, when it comes down to it, is really just knowledge, right? And knowledge isn't all that helpful if one can't communicate it or act upon it. Babies can't do those things. They lack the ability to speak until they learn it and develop that skill over time. They lack the ability to mobilize themselves until their bodies grow and develop, again, over time. Parents, I'm sure you'll have a much better answer to this question than I can come up with. I look forward to your responses.

Seriously though, that's the part where you answer the question. I always post these questions every week but rarely get answers from readers in the comments. That's what the comment section is there for! I want you to use it! So, really, what advice would you want to instill in your newborn's mind? I figure, by the time I have kids, we'll be learning things Matrix-style, so I'll actually be able to instill advice, literally, into my newborn child's mind. So you're helping me out by answering.

Question of the Week: Joyful Worry

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I think the phrase, "ignorance is bliss," exists for a reason. The thing about stupidity is that, those that are afflicted with it just don't care. They don't realize they're stupid. People who aren't ignorant are the ones who shoulder the burden and have to deal with stupidity, some more than others. But I'd much rather be the joyful simpleton than the worried genius. I don't like to worry, it's a pointless exercise.

Question of the Week: The American Dream

What does "The American Dream" mean to you?

Well, that all depends. I have some pretty weird dreams sometimes. Especially if I've taken some kind of medication to help me sleep. Like, if I take Ny-Quil to quell some cold symptoms, I can be sure to wake up the next morning with some pretty crazy adventures that I've never actually gone on in the old memory banks. But it occurs to me that this may not be the kind of dream to which the question is referring. Moving on...

The American Dream, to me, is just to do the best you can with what you've been given. I know a lot of people out there would cry out that the American Dream is to become a huge success in your career. Some will say it's about settling down and raising a family. Others, especially in today's society, probably believe the dream is to be as famous as possible for as long as possible. These are the ones who believe that there's no such thing as bad publicity and will do anything to have their face plastered on the front of some tabloid magazine or to have their Twitter feed explode with tweets all about them. For me, it's just to do good and to share that good with the people around you. That's my dream.

What's your dream? And when I ask these kinds of questions, I don't mean for them to be rhetorical. I'm genuinely interested in reading what kinds of responses you have. And that goes for pretty much everything I post on here. I'm not saying I want feed back every single day. But, yeah, I do actually.

Question of the Week: Breathe

When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing?

Just now, only because this question got me thinking about it. Now I'm a little paranoid. Am I breathing normally? Should my lungs be making that kind of sound? Is that sound of my lungs or do I have too much hair in my nose? I don't normally take time out of my busy schedule to listen to my own breath. I don't need to hear myself breathing to know that I'm still breathing. That full feeling that I get in my lungs is generally good enough for me. Sometimes, when I'm having trouble sleeping, I'll listen to my steady breaths and I'll make a conscious effort to slow my breathing in an effort to calm myself. It never works and I remain a die hard insomniac. But, if we're talking about hearing our own breaths on the clinical level, I'd have to say I haven't listened to my own breathing since I was a little kid and managed to get my hands on Dr. Keagy's stethoscope while we sat in his office. I didn't hold on to them for very long before he snatched them back. Calm down doctor, it's just a stethoscope. You probably had a drawer full of them, the way other people keep socks or silverware in special drawers.

Question of the Week: Try

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying is definitely worse. After all, if you don't try, you don't know if you'll have failed or succeeded. And seeing as how there's roughly a 50/50 chance of either outcome, I say go for it.

Question of the Week: War

What is important enough to go to war over?

Well, there's the obvious: foreign oil control, retaliation for terrorist attacks, Great Depression, global domination. Truth is, anyone can justify just about any reason to go to war. The big historical ones are usually over territory expansion or religious differences. The Trojan War was started for the love of a woman. Not to get political, but I totally would have backed up the early colonials who wanted their freedom from Britain. And I thought it was a good idea to go after al Qaeda after 9/11. However, I did not agree with shifting our focus to Iraq so we could take out Hussein. I'm not saying he was a decent dictator, I'm just saying that the US military should not be the world's police. Anyway, I think it's important to ask, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.