Here's What You Might've Been Missing

Hey kids. It's been a while, I know. I've done a couple book reviews, but it's been a while since I posted those, too. Remember how I said I was starting a new blog somewhere else? Well, it wasn't a lie. Since the beginning of the year, I've been blogging pretty regularly at The Confusing Middle. I won't rehash everything I've done over there, but below you'll find a brief summary along with links to each of those new posts. I just don't want you, the above average Carp Dime reader to believe that I've forgotten about you. For more than 10 years, you've been there to experience my life on a probably uncomfortable level as you laugh and point at my most embarrassing moments. I can't deprive you of my most recent moments, whether or not they're embarrassing is up to you.

• Figuring It All Out - Basically an introduction to the new blog. Why did I title it The Confusing Middle? Find out here.
• My First Failed Challenge - My pastor challenged me to compare a classic cartoon to a modern sitcom. I wasn't able to do it.
• The Uncooperative Winter - At one point, I was frustrated because there had been a lack of snow this winter.
• Buy All the Things! - The true story of a trip to Target.
• Amazing Amazon - Have you ever read some of the user reviews on Amazon.com? Some of them are genius level hilarious.
• A Cesspool of Useless Knowledge - This is a title I wear proudly. Find out what it means.
• Life in Lifeless Things - Inanimate objects that come to life. Like Christine.
• A Lack of History - I kind of complain about how starting a new blog means I don't have 10 years worth of blog posts and history with readers like I had with you, my beloved Carp Dime subscribers.
• An Open Letter to Far Away Friends - Just some things I wanted to say to some people I miss.
• The Haunted Paper Curtain - The true story of a haunted classroom at my school.
• The Non-Delinquency of Minors - The true story of good students at my school.
• 100 Random Facts About Me - An update of this.
• Were They On a Break? - I jump into the Ross and Rachel debate that was probably over 17 years ago.
• If I Had $500 Million - What I'd have done if I won the big Powerball jackpot.
• I Think We Just Figured Out Why I'm Still Single - I feel like that's self explanatory.
• Question of the Week #1 - I brought back the Question of the Week that I used to do here.
• Don't Shop Hangry - When hunger brings on anger.
• Question of the Week #2
• An Unexpected Break - The true story of how I finally got some snow.
• 6 Reasons Why I Should Host the Academy Awards - I think I'd make a pretty decent host.
• It's Only a Game - I'm not saying I get competitive, but I get kind of competitive.
• Remembering Mamaw - My thoughts after the passing of my great-grandmother.
• The Fun in Funeral - The true story of how I want my funeral to go.
• Hello, Friend - The true story of how girls greet you when they're just not that into you.
• Should We Cancel? Should We Delay? - The true story of how school administrators decide to cancel school due to inclement weather.
• Show Your Work! - A rant against a sort of ridiculous rule that math teachers often impose on their students. But it's just my opinion.
• Question of the Week #3
• 5 Reasons Why I'd Make a Bad Colonial Person - I just don't think I'd have made it back then.
• An Excess of Wisdom - The first in a series of posts about my wisdom teeth.
• Inefficient Ghouls - Ghosts are a superstitious and cowardly lot.
• Question of the Week #4
• The Recovery Process - The second in a series of posts about my wisdom teeth.
• Did You Lose Your Glasses - The true story of the time I forgot to wear my glasses to school.
• This Is the Last One About My Wisdom Teeth. I Promise. - The final in a series of posts about my wisdom teeth. I promise.
• Question of the Week #5 - Which catches us up to today.

I know, that looks like an awful lot, but it's not every day like I once did here at the Carp Dime. Pick and choose which you'd like to read. Any and all of these posts are open for your approval. Stop by and say hello. I've missed you. Even if you're just pretending, it'd be nice to hear you miss me too. Bye for now...

The First Blog Post of the Rest of My Life

Well, Internet, it's been 17 days since my last post here at Carp Dime. And the posts were sporadic for a while before that. The reasons for my lack of writing have varied and I apologize to the multitude of cyber stalkers that have, no doubt, been waiting on the edge of their seats to find out what I had to say next.

First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in the year 1885. I kid. Life and work have actually been keeping me very busy. Not necessarily in that order.

Recall that I have two jobs. Both of which I (mostly) love, but they do keep me on my toes. By day I'm a counselor. By later in the day I'm the Children's Ministry Assistant at my church. It's the counseling gig that seems to take up most of my time, though I wish it was the other way around.

I will say the kids' ministry thing is pretty awesome. When I first thought about applying for that position, the Charlatan told me, without hesitation, to do it. He said it would change my life. I'm not sure that it's changed my life yet, but it's certainly changed the way I see things and the way I approach ministry. The kids at my church are pretty amazing, but I could be biased.

Counseling is great and it can be incredibly frustrating and rewarding at the same time. Honestly, if the entire job was about spending time helping kids, I'd probably be happy to do it for the rest of my life. But they throw in that pesky paperwork. It piles up. It's overwhelming. It basically leaves a bad taste in my mouth regarding this line of work.

After weeks of feeling overwhelmed and getting tired of feeling tired so much of the time, I've decided to make some changes. I've taken the first steps toward earning a license to teach history on the high school level. I'm gonna be a teacher when I grow up.

It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But, for some reason, I've never felt motivated enough to make the change and take action. In a few weeks I'll take some required exams. I'll apply to an accredited university to take some required classes. And by the end of next summer, I will be ready to have my own classroom.

Now, I realize that, in the past, I had two jobs and still made it a point to post regularly. But back then I was working at a bank and delivering pizza. I hated it. Both of those jobs gave me plenty of things to write about. Blogging became therapeutic for me. For reasons of confidentiality, I'm unable to share about my days at school. You'll just have to trust me when I say that they're usually pretty entertaining. Until the paperwork starts. That part isn't so much fun.

So changes are coming. I'm pretty excited about it. Wish me luck!

So Many Multiple Changes

Really, there have only been a few changes. But they've taken place steadily over the past month or so. And they've been incredibly stressful. Normally, I use the act of writing for this blog as a means to relieve the stress that accumulates each day. For whatever reason, lately, that stress has kept me from even wanting to do that.

And now, here I am, writing again. Did the stress go away? No. And it won't go away for about another week. Honestly, I feel like it's going to keep getting worse before the miraculous end.

Back story: I started working as a counselor two years ago. I was placed in a school (which we'll henceforth call School #1) where, over time, I became comfortable. Before the next school year, I was "asked" to transfer to a different school (which we'll henceforth call School #2). I wasn't thrilled, but I went. Again, over time, I grew comfortable and made friends. It was at that point I half-seriously informed the powers that be that I would quit if they tried to move me again.

Fast forward to March of 2014. After more than a year and a half at School #2, I was suddenly "asked" to transfer back to School #1. I agreed to do so, feeling I had no real choice in the matter.

This sudden change disrupted not only my life, but the lives of the students I'd been working with for nearly two years. This change also irritated the teachers and principal as well. Actually, the principal was a lot more than irritated.

So my bosses called my bluff. I'd been transferred, but had no intention of quitting. It just wouldn't have been practical. I enjoy food and shelter far too much to go without a paycheck.

Besides, it was for the children. At least, that's what I like to tell myself. The kids at School #1 were suddenly without a counselor. Someone needed to go there and take over, at least temporarily. If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. Someone less familiar with the school, the faculty, and staff.

So I was back in my original school. All the teachers were thrilled to have me back. I put on a happy face (well, as happy as I can do), but I was less than thrilled. I was working with a student that I refused to follow back to his old school, along with four others with whom I was completely unfamiliar. I may have known the school, but I didn't know its students that well. Especially after being gone for two years. That first kid, though, was a full time job all on his own. I can't share details, but that kid is the cause of the majority of my stress. Since returning to School #1, I've left with a severe headache every single day.

Meanwhile, another company heard of my plight. I was asked to send in my resume and interview for a new job. It's actually the exact same job that I've done for two years, just with a different company. Oh, and they'll put me back at School #2, where I want to be anyway.

That's the part of the big changes that has yet to happen. My final day with my current employer, placed in School #1, will be next Tuesday. I'll begin with my new company on the following Monday.

I said the whole thing has been incredibly stressful. That's no lie. At the same time, it's been very flattering. I've got two schools, two principals, and two companies fighting over me as a counselor. I kind of feel like the prettiest girl at the prom trying to choose who I should dance with. Except I'm not a girl. And I don't dance. I've never put much stock in my abilities as a counselor, thinking I was mediocre at best. The principal of School #2 informed me that I was a great counselor, worth fighting for. From her, I consider that a high compliment.

I hold no ill will toward my current/former employers. In the time I've been with that company, I've learned a great deal about who I am as a counselor and who I want to become, beyond this time in my career. They gave me a good home and I'll be forever grateful for it. Now it's time for me to move on. Someday, I'm almost certain, it will be time for me to move on from the company that I'm about to join. That's just how life works.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

(Bonus points if you know where that last line came from.)

BTdub... Don't forget about my 2000th Blog Post Spectacular! You can still win stuff! Several Oz-related items. Not the old HBO show. The Oz with the Wizard and Wicked Witch and Dorothy and stuff. The contest goes on through next Tuesday (4/15). Don't wait to enter!

Reports of My Giving Up...

...Are greatly exaggerated.

I did not quit blogging. I'm just taking a sabbatical. Not long ago, I sort of wrote about the futility of keeping this blog. I was feeling under appreciated. More than than that, I was feeling sorry for myself. It was kind of pathetic.

Several of you, including my pastor, encouraged me to continue writing. Despite my lack of regular posts lately, I was encouraged. Hard to believe with the lack of evidence.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about why I've kept this blog. I genuinely started for only myself. Somewhere along the way, I shifted my focus to how many people I was reaching.

But really, why should I be reaching anyone? I'm not writing anything with the intention of changing the world. My blog has no mission statement. I'm just doing it as a creative outlet. As reasons go, it's a pretty selfish one. It's supposed to be fun. Instead, it became work, so I stopped enjoying it.

So I'm taking a break. I'm still gonna write. I just won't post everything and won't post regularly. I'll try to get back to a regular schedule after the first of the year.

I shouldn't be disappointed when I don't have comments or even readers. Hopefully, someday soon, I'll actually convince myself of that.

Under Pressure

Do you ever feel pressured into doing something? A lot of times that pressure can come from family or friends and can involve something you don't necessarily want to do. More often, at least in my personal experience, that pressure comes from myself.

There are times when I make excuses for myself and falsely claim that the pressure I'm feeling has come from an external force. But the truth is, I'm pressuring myself more often than not. That's how I was when I was a kid. I was kind of a perfectionist. Some of that still lingers, though not as strongly. During my elementary school years I pushed myself to do well and get good grades. My parents never pressured me to come home with straight A's on my report card.

I haven't written anything substantial here in a long while. In fact, I've spent most of the summer on something of a hiatus. Sure, I've posted a question of the week here and there, but that's about it. I really don't have an excuse for why I'm not writing these days, I just haven't been.

I spent some time with my friend Jessica yesterday and in our conversation I began to speculate as to why I've neglected this blog for so long. Of course, there are the typical excuses... I've been busy. I've moved into a new place. I've moved into a new town. I've been keeping myself occupied with other things.

Then there was a not-so-typical excuse that occurred to me. Maybe I've been a little depressed.

The thought came as something of a surprise to me. I haven't felt depressed. At least, I don't think I have. I haven't been overly emotional, sad or angry in recent weeks. I've experienced depression before and, in the past, the symptoms that have accompanied my change in demeanor have ranged from loss of appetite to an extreme desire to be alone.

I know, I like to be alone a lot of the time anyway. But that's just regular introvert stuff. I haven't found myself longing to be away from people because I just don't want to deal with things lately. I've actually sought opportunities to do things with people and I feel like I've done this more often than usual. And as for a loss of appetite, well, that just hasn't happened at all this summer.

Depression, as an excuse not to write, kind of makes sense now that I think on it. There have been some issues and situations that I've been dealing with this summer that have been difficult. They've been nothing that I can't handle, but I guess they've taken more of a toll than I've let on. People would probably look at me and assume I'm okay. I've even looked in the mirror and assumed I'm okay. And maybe I am. I'm okay. But maybe, just being okay isn't good enough. At least, it's not good enough to keep me motivated to post something new to this blog on a daily basis.

I've felt pressure from other areas of my life this summer. So I've taken the pressure off of myself to come up with new and exciting material for Carp Dime for a while. But today I decided to put the pressure back on myself.

What makes today so special? Well, I read another blog. My pastor, Jeff Noble keeps a blog called Notes from the Trail. Today, his post was titled, "Some blogs to follow." Mine was one of the blogs he listed. No pressure, right?

I remember being excited a few months back when he tweeted a link to something I'd written and called my blog one of his "new favorites." If I'd been a cartoon character, I'm pretty sure my head would have grown to three times its normal size in representation of my over inflated ego. I don't get a lot of attention for things that I write, so I allowed myself to bask for a moment few weeks.

And I know I've picked up other new readers from among my new friends whom I've met through my new church. I just hope I haven't disappointed anyone by neglecting this space for so long. And there I go, pressuring myself all over again.

There should be no pressure in this. The only reason I started this blog way back in December of 2004 was because I like to write. That hasn't changed. I love to write. I love to make little observations about life in general. I love to convey my thoughts in a mildly sarcastic way that may or may not always be recognizable through the written word.

So if you've surfed over from Jeff's blog today, thanks for visiting. I hope you aren't too disappointed by my lack of fresh content. I can't promise a daily thing right off the bat. I feel like I may need to work my way back to that kind of pace. But, for now, stay tuned. I've been on this thing for nearly 9 years and I'm just getting warmed up.

Oh, and if the title of this post has gotten an old Queen song stuck in your head, you're welcome.

Not Blogging

I haven't done a lot of blogging lately. I've felt guilty about that, I really have. Mostly because one of my New Year's Resolutions this year was to post something to the blog every day. Fail.

But I shouldn't feel too guilty about that because what are New Year's Resolutions except excuses to set lofty goals that are nearly unattainable.

Still, I've done a lot of thinking about why I haven't been writing much for the blog of late. Yesterday, I'm pretty sure I had an epiphany. The reason for the lack of posts dawned on my kind of suddenly, and I was a little surprised that I hadn't thought of it before.

I'm certain I've mentioned that the summer program that I work with as a counselor is more stressful than the job I perform during the regular school year. This is because I'm not only acting as a counselor to the kids, I'm sort of a teacher as well. During the school year, the counselor can get by with observing and intervening as needed. In the summer, I'm required to come up with lesson plans, curriculum, systems of rewards and consequences, etc. This makes the summer much different than the school year.

When the kids are in school and I'm sitting in the classroom, I take notes. I also brainstorm. I'm able to sit and think and write when I have down time in the classroom. As a summer program counselor/teacher/disciplinarian, there's no such thing as down time.

So the lack of original blog posts will likely continue for the foreseeable future. Don't worry, though. I've got some stuff cooking. Stay tuned. Just not every day. Stay tuned occasionally. Something like that.

How I Spent My Incredibly Short Summer Vacation

I'm sure a lot of people think that, simply because I spend my days working within the hallowed halls of the public school system, I get to enjoy two months of summer vacation. I'm sorry to burst bubbles, but this just isn't true. I work. All year. Mostly.

There are the standard nine months of the regular school year. Those work days are a given. Of course, you can subtract a few weeks of time off due to various holidays. Depending on how the planet's ecosystem is doing from year to year, one could also subtract a number of cancellations due to inclement weather. But that's what we expect from a school year.

Then we arrive, in time, at those glorious summer months. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teacher. Part of my reasoning was so that I could continue to enjoy summer vacations as an adult. As an adult, I'm fairly certain that summer vacation doesn't mean the same to teachers as it does to students. I have no doubt that it's a nice break away from the classroom for the teachers, just as it is for their students. But adulthood brings responsibilities that don't just go away because school's out. I can't say anything for sure, because I'm not a teacher. I'm a counselor.

I'm a counselor that works all summer. Yesterday, the non-profit for whom I work began its annual summer program. They place us, the counselors, in classrooms with students from all over the county that we serve during the regular school year. I've been given, along with a co-counselor, the responsibility for therapizing a handful of pre-K through 1st graders.

Are you afraid that I haven't had a chance to relax? Are you afraid that I went directly from the last day of school into the first day of summer counseling? Of course you're not. Because you are a loyal Carp Dime reader and you, no doubt, noticed an inconvenient absence of new material during that week plus that I was in and out of cyberspace. I had time to relax, kids. Fear not.

My first official day of summer break was uneventful. Well, the whole weekend was kind of uneventful to be honest. Looking back, I have no memory of that weekend. If I did something with you during those three days after the last day of school, I apologize for being flip about it. But it's been a couple weeks since those days occurred. I'm lucky to remember what I had for lunch today. Actually, I know exactly what I had for lunch today. Turkey, cheese, baby spinach on whole wheat. I know this because it's the same thing I fix for my lunch every day that I pack. Which is every day.

The first Monday of my summer vacation saw me hanging out with teachers. And several students from my school. It's like I can't get away from it. I only had a week and a half off, and I found myself surrounded by people I'd seen every day for the past nine months. What was I thinking?

I was thinking that I wanted to have a fun time during my little bit of time off. These are teachers that I've come to consider good friends over the course of the school year. And the students? They're actually those teachers' own children. I had a delicious lunch with them at the local Chick-Fil-A, followed by a couple hours of browsing at the Goodwill. After all that, we wrapped up the afternoon with some Sweet Frog. That might have been my favorite part.

The next day, I left town. I drove down to Wake Forest, North Carolina to visit for a few days. I hadn't been down there in nearly two years, not since a few months after I moved back to Virginia. Look, the Raleigh area isn't the glamorous vacation spot that most people would look for when they have a week away from work. But it was incredibly relaxing for me. And I had a blast.

I was able to visit with my cousin and his family, my former boss, and the Most Awesome Person I Know. There were no grand adventures. We didn't solve the current financial crisis. We just spent time hanging out, catching up on the last couple years and laughing. Oh, and most of these events were accompanied with food. That's always a good idea. Talking with food.

So there you have it. I was able to enjoy my time away from school. I'm back to work now and kind of miss that vacation. But I am happy to be earning a paycheck again. That whole unpaid vacation thing is kind of a drag. At least, it will be when July comes and the vacation shows up (or doesn't show up) on my paycheck.

I Don't Even Know Where to Begin...

I have been gone from this thing for so long, I'm not even sure what to write at this moment. I've had a lot happening in the last few weeks. To leave any of it out would be a crime. Okay, maybe it wouldn't be a crime. I'd be a little surprised to find out that there are people who have even missed checking Carp Dime on a regular basis to see if I've written anything within the last two weeks. Here's what's been going on, which I'll try to flesh out as this week goes on...

• I survived the last week of school!
• I spent the first official day of summer vacation with teachers! ...at the Goodwill...
• I spent 3 days in North Carolina!
• My laptop died!

That last one sounds like it's as exciting as the previous topics. It's not. It's far less than exciting. But it all worked out in the end. Which you'll see once I get around to writing about it. So please, stay tuned. I promise I'll be back on my regular writing schedule now that I'm getting back into a regular routine. And have a working computer again. No, really, it's a story for another time that I'll seriously get around to.

Apologies

I feel the need to apologize to the 3 or 4 of you who look forward to reading something new on Carp Dime every single day. When I got to work this morning I realized that I forgot to write something yesterday. It's the first time I've missed a day since 2013 began. My bad, guys. My bad.

In my defense, it's the last week of school and things are incredibly hectic. There is so much work to be done between now and the last day (which is tomorrow). It isn't anything that can't be done and I'm not so stressed out that I'm going crazy or anything. At least, no crazier than usual.

But all that work has left little time for creativity in my free time. It's also left little time for free time. I'm glad to say that, after 11:30 tomorrow morning, free time is something I'll have in abundance for the next 2 weeks. It will be glorious.

As it is, I have very little to share today. But I will share a short anecdote from over the weekend.

I had lunch with the Most Awesome Person I Know and her family, a crew I don't get to see too often these days, since we live in different states now. Her oldest daughter said something that nearly made me choke on my club sandwich.

While talking about things to do in Roanoke while they were in town visiting, the preteen girl mentioned, in hushed tones, that there was a Lesbian Festival happening in town. While attempting not to spit out my food at the mention of the Lesbian Festival, I realized exactly what she was talking about. I knew because, and this may show my maturity level, I thought about making the same sort of pun earlier in the day while riding around town with my mom.

There was no Lesbian Festival in Roanoke this weekend. It's next weekend. And it's actually a Lebanese Festival. An easy mistake to make if one isn't closely looking at the signs plastered all over town. At quick glance, a person could easily transpose some letters and see another word. Like Lesbian.

So... yeah... I ended up not cracking that particular joke in mom's car Saturday morning. It was funnier coming from a kid anyway. I can't promise that you'll get something new from me tomorrow. But it is a half day at school, so it could happen.

Christmas Catch-Up

Wow... I am a huge slacker at Christmastime. I've posted nothing on here since Friday, and even that was just a shameless promotion for the Carp Dime Facebook page (which you're still more than welcome to click over to and like... you know, if you wanna). I won't give out excuses about how the last few days have been busy (even though they have). I'll just tell you what's been going on during those last few busy days.

Really, things haven't been that incredibly busy. My weekend was a typical weekend. I worked that part-time gig on Saturday and Sunday. And Sunday was a change to my normal part-time work schedule. For the first time I had been scheduled to work when the store opened, rather than when it closed. On the plus side, I was done with work at 1pm. That left me with so much time for activities!

Except that I didn't have any planned activities. I had no plans for most of Monday either. Christmas Eve was boring until I drove into Roanoke for the big family hootenanny. There was food. There was a lot of food. And that food included Mamaw's famous Crackaroni and Cheese. It's really just macaroni and cheese, but she's got to add something to it that makes it extra delicious and extremely addictive. If it wasn't for that mac and cheese, I wouldn't have gone back for thirds. When it was time to open presents, I was a little afraid that my digestive system would cease to function due to overuse. I did not save room for dessert. However, I did eat two pieces of pie and a couple sausage balls a few hours later when dessert was served. Where it went, I don't know.

The present opening time was more fun than I expected it to be. I don't have kids of my own, but it was still pretty cool to watch my young cousins open their gifts. They're all still at that young age where they get so excited over what surprises could be behind that wrapping paper. Since I work retail at a clothing store these days, it should come as no surprise that the gifts I gave came from there. I was a little scared I was gonna end up being that jerk that no one liked because all he gave them for Christmas was clothes. But the quote of the night came from my 4-year-old cousin, who said of her shirt, "I got a famous shirt!"

I stayed the night at mom's. I was exhausted and I'm not sure how I stayed up any later than the moment I walked through the front door and sat on the sofa. But I ended up staying up a while longer with mom as she flipped through the channels. I couldn't convince her to stop on A Christmas Story, which was playing non-stop. She did, however, find the last half hour of The Greatest Story Ever Told. The Christian Studies major in me ended up picking on little issues that I had with what I was seeing. I'm not saying I was right about anything I was saying. I'm just pointing out that I was over-thinking. Something I tend to do a lot.

On Christmas day, as if I hadn't eaten enough food the previous night, mom made brunch. This meal consisted of eggs, apples, hash browns, biscuits, sausage grave... that might be it. I ate too much again. Afterward, we went on our annual Christmas outing to the cinema. This year's feature: Les Miserables. In short, it was freakin' fantastic. In long, come back tomorrow for my full thoughts.

After the movie I drove back home to Radford. It's a ghost town at the moment, with all the college kids at home for Christmas break. I'm fairly certain I'm the only soul in my building. It's peaceful and creepy all at the same time.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas.

On a side note, congratulations to Mr. Mark Hipes, the winner of the Facebook page drawing for a $30 iTunes gift card. If you go and like the Facebook page, you'll be kept up to date on more fun things that will be happening in the future. 2013's gonna be a fun year. Let's get to work.

Get Busy Livin'

I've missed this. You know what I mean? These moments that I'm able to share with the three or four of you who still check this blog to see if I'm still alive and well.

I am, by the way. Alive. And... well... I guess I'm well enough.

Things are a little up in the air right now. I'm in between apartments, meaning I'm relying on the kindness of friends in order to have a roof over my head. I'm incredibly grateful for these friends. Words cannot express. I'll move into my new place on Sunday and I'm really excited to finally say that I'll be settled somewhere. At least on a semi-permanent basis. More about that another time.

Also up in the air, my finances. To say I'm broke would be an understatement. Moving from one apartment to another is an expensive business. Even if you don't have to rent a truck because you've managed to get rid of 90% of your worldly possessions. There's the new rent to consider, which, if you play it right, shouldn't be much worse than where you just left. And then there's the deposit. That usually turns into an unplanned expense.

But I'm not stressing out over money. I refuse to do something like that. Really, what's the point in stressing out over things? Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but just doesn't get you anywhere. The flip side of the whole being broke thing is that I love my job. I won't lie and say it's something I want to do until I inevitably cannot retire because social security will evaporate over the next 40 years. No, there are other career paths I may choose to explore in the future. But I love what I'm doing right here and now.

I get to work with kids who've kind of been dealt a bad hand. A lot of the time, they're doing the best they can with what they have. And when they're obviously not doing the best they can, I'm there to lend support however I'm able. I know I'm not perfect and I know I'm not working miracles in any of these kids' lives. But I feel like I'm able to make some kind of small difference. It's a good feeling.

So I haven't been keeping up with my blog the way I used to. A few years ago I pledged to post something every single day. It was a New Year's resolution back when I was still new to North Carolina. If you've been following that long, you'll know that was a long time ago. At least, it feels like a long time ago. And that whole every day posting idea was something I tried to adhere to until a few months back. Things get in the way. Blogging hasn't been much of a priority for me lately. It's kind of sad because I really do enjoy it.

I've always said that if I could do anything for a career, it would be writing. It's something I genuinely enjoy doing and I've been told I'm good at it. Of course, Mom also tells me she thinks I'm cool, whatever that means. The point is, I really have missed logging onto my weblog to post humorous anecdotes on a regular basis. I've just gotten busy living life outside of cyberspace.

I'm hoping that, soon, I'll be able (or willing) to make room for both. I'm in my new apartment this weekend. I'll be spending a lot less time on the road. This will lead to a lot more time to do other things that I'm interested in doing. Not that I don't like driving. But, as I've said before, 3 hours a day just seems a bit excessive.

I'll never promise a daily post. Not anymore. There's just too much happening in the world around me. If I don't stop and look at it every now and then, I'll miss it (thanks, Ferris). And then, after I take those moments to stop and look around, maybe I'll find something interesting to write about. Maybe it'll be something thought-provoking. Maybe it'll be something that will make you laugh. Maybe... just maybe... it'll be something that'll make you cry. It could happen.

Stay tuned. I'm sure it'll get interesting.

Teenage Potential

In the process of packing up to prepare for my upcoming move, I started feeling a bit nostalgic. It happened because I was packing up a lot of my books and came across some old yearbooks from my days at Woodrow Wilson Middle School. Not the best of times, mind you. But it's likely that it was much simpler.

I had to laugh when I looked at the signatures of my middle school friends. Some seemed well meaning, if slightly empty. Others were kind of condescending. I know I was small, okay? But, as we would all discover before Christmas of our freshman year, I was kind of sick.

One note really caught my attention, though. It was written in the back of my 8th grade yearbook and was signed by the woman who taught English when I was in 7th grade. She was also the faculty adviser for the school newspaper, such as it was. I say that because the school paper wasn't exactly the New York Times. It wasn't even the Wake Weekly. It was several pages of photocopied articles written by kids who were no older than 13. I'm not saying the articles were bad. I can't say they were good either. And I can only be that vague because I have no recollection of any of those articles, nor do I have a surviving copy of any of the issues we put out.

Back to the note that our adviser wrote: "To a delightful young man who just may become a great writer." I looked at that and kind of laughed again. Because what have I done to even attempt to become a great writer?

I have all these ideas floating around in my head. But really, it just feels like those ideas add up to unused potential. And even that isn't a guarantee of anything. There are a lot of times I feel somewhat guilty not taking the time to do something about those ideas and that potential.

Then I think, at least I'm writing on this blog. People are able to see my thoughts. It may not be a traditional publication, but it's mine. But even that's not all that true anymore. Not the part about it being my own thoughts. The part about writing on this blog. I've really been slacking in that department lately. But does that matter either?

Looking back, I've received a total of two comments over the past month. That's it. I made a big deal about having 50 followers not too long ago, but should that really be considered a huge milestone? Sure, the follower thing is a nice way to gauge how many people are seeing a blog, but comments make a writer feel so much better. Having followers means that people are getting notifications whenever I post something new. Comments mean that people have actually read what I've written and felt moved to contribute their own thoughts.

Kind of feels like no one's actually reading this thing anymore.

I'm not trying to have a pity party. Yes, I would love to have hundreds of followers. I would absolutely love to average a dozen or more comments on each of my mind blowing blog posts. In real life, I'm content being a fly on the wall, unnoticed by the world around me. Here, I'm kind of an attention whore. But I'm realistic. I know that my sphere of influence isn't exactly global.

I'm left wondering, do I really have the potential to become a great writer, as my 7th grade English teacher claimed? Maybe I should take a break from keeping up with the blog for a while. Maybe, by doing that, I can spend some working on some of that unrealized potential that I had as a teenager.

A Season for Slacking

You know, people often ask me, "Aaron, why haven't you been blogging as often as you used to?"

To those people, I usually say, "Hey, get off my case! I'm, like, super busy right now!"

Okay, here's the honest truth: no one ever asks me why I haven't been blogging as often as I used to. No, that was a tangled web of lies. I like to pretend that I'm more important than I am sometimes. I like to pretend that my tiny little blog plays a much more important role in this world than it really does.

And no, I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. I used to make a concerted effort to post something every single day. I don't know, lately I've just been... eh... if I feel like writing something, I'll write something. I promise, it isn't really an issue of apathy. I genuinely care about what I put on here. And that, I think, is my biggest issue. I've been having a really hard time coming up with good topics to post about.

Look at me, I'm ending sentences with prepositions. I'm way off my game.

I could use the excuse that Christmastime makes things pretty busy and stressful. Last year I think I took the last week of the year off from the blog. And then I came back with some pretty good stuff in January. Don't all rush to agree, you can nod silently if you wish.

I won't make any promises about the last two weeks of the year. I won't sit here and tell you that every day I'll post something awesome. But I will do a few things. So don't give up on me. 2011 is winding down and 2012 looks to be pretty great. Despite that whole "end of the world" thing. But hey, we all survived a couple scheduled apocalypses this year, right? Is it bad that we need to have a plural for the word apocalypse? Is apocalypses even correct? I've never been good with Greek. It is Greek, right?

Anyway, try not to stress out about the holidays. It'll be 2013 before you know it. Unless Melancholia happens.

Viral

Wow! It has been a crazy couple of days here.

Now, you probably read that with a note of enthusiasm. Don't let the exclamation point fool you. It was false bravado.

I've been really sick for about three days. Today I feel like I'm finally pulling myself up out of the valley of the shadow of death. Well, the valley of kinda wishing I was dead anyway. It's been rough.

I'll spare you the details. Thank you notes can be sent via the comments section below.

I know I promised a recap of the epic road trip that I experienced last weekend. It will come. I promise. But, for the better part of this week, all I've been able to think about was how sick I've been and how I wished it would just go away and let me feel better.

These viruses are not to be taken lightly. I took it lightly when I went to work on Tuesday. I wasn't feeling great, but I just wrote it off as not having caught up with myself from the weekend. You know how you can get when you spend three days on the road, right? It's not quite the same as having jet lag, but it can still be pretty rough.

And then they sent me home. That's right, I had people at work telling me how terrible I looked. When more than one person suggested that I should take a half day and leave early, I started to think it was a pretty good idea. I'll be honest, I was feeling pretty miserable. And it was starting to move beyond just being tired and lacking sleep.

So I left. And I haven't been back since. Which really sucks. Because it means that I had to quarantine myself to my bedroom for the past 48 hours. I'm sure my roommates appreciate me staying in my room and only emerging to make a dash for the bathroom.

I've made sure to keep a can of Lysol handy. I've tried to disinfect wherever I've been. I don't want my roommates to come down with what I had. 'Cause here's something I've dealt with in the past. I would be the first person in the house to get a cold, then it would make its way through my various family members, and by the time they were all done with it, it would mutate just enough to be different and then infect me all over again. That's not happening this time.

I got sick. I'm getting over it. I'm going to work tomorrow and I'm not gonna get sick again. I'm done for this cold and flu season. Do you hear me common cold? That's right, I've got your number. This flu may have kicked my butt, but I kicked back.

On the plus side of things, I did manage to get myself in the shower today. I shaved. Because I looked in the mirror when I finally crawled out of bed and realized that I looked like I was about to audition for the role of Ghost of Christmas Future. All I needed was a heavy black hood to complete the look.

Unorthodox

This week has been a little unorthodox for me. And if you haven't enjoyed reading my thoughts on all those AFI Top 100 movies, I apologize. It's just that, well, I made that New Year's resolution to watch all 100 of them and I know there's no way that's going to happen at this point. I'm not even halfway there yet. So I figured that I would make a dent in it by spending a week watching and writing about them.

And then there's the fact that I skipped the Question of the Week. Not that anyone ever leaves their answers, but I always have fun responding to the questions.

But here's the thing, I'm kind of out of town at the moment.

Right after work yesterday, I drove back into Roanoke, picked up the Charlatan and Subway, headed to Bluefield to get the Other Single Guy and then made the long drive to Columbus, Ohio. Why? I'm glad you asked. Because Columbus is our midway stop on our way to... wait for it... Indianapolis.

Tonight is the first ever Big Ten Championship Game and the four of us decided to pile into Half Pint to come up and see the game. Expect a full report once I've gotten back home and had time to process things. In the meantime, enjoy your weekend. It's about time for a continental breakfast.

So... Yeah...

I've really been slacking on the blogging. I don't have any real excuses for my slacking.

No, that's a lie. I do have excuses. And they're decent excuses. They mostly revolve around the fact that I've been staying busy. I'm still getting used to the new job, even though I'm almost a month into it. It's great, but there's a definite learning curve here that I'm adjusting to.

What else? Well, the social life isn't lying dead in the gutter these days. I go out with friends. I visit my friends' homes. I go to Virginia Tech football games. I drive to the Richmond area for surprise birthday parties. I drive to my old home in North Carolina to participate in a Heart Walk with a company for whom I no longer work.

So yeah... I've been kind of busy. But I promise I'll get caught up. I just need to find a new groove. Maybe that new groove will mean the elimination of the daily post, as I've tried so hard to be faithful to in the past. But I definitely want to have a regular schedule. Stay tuned kids. Don't forget about me. Don't stop following me. I promise to do better.

Reconnected

Well, that hiatus didn't last very long, did it? I thought for sure I was going to be incommunicado for at least a week. Turns out it was all a huge miscommunication.

See, I moved in over the weekend. I have two new roommates. These are guys that I never met before coming to get an initial look at the apartment. Yeah, it's this new thing I'm trying out.

Anyway, when I finally started to settle in Sunday evening, I was turning on my laptop and asked Roommate #1 about what kind of wireless network we had set up in here. He gave me the name of the router I'd be searching for as well as the password to log on to the secure network.

So I tried to connect. And I got nothing. I tried pulling the ethernet cable through the wall to connect my computer directly to it. The laptop told me I was unplugged. Clearly the computer was lying since I could see the wire plugged directly into the side of it. However, to be fair, I had no way of knowing if the other end of the cable was connected to anything at all.

But it was late. It had been a long two days filled with lifting and moving and driving and unloading... I was tired. So I went to bed that night disappointed.

Side bar: I was also disappointed for another reason. The sofa that I've been using as a bed for the last year or so wouldn't fit in my new room. My dream of a good night's sleep was kind of shattered at that point. One more thing to try to get rid of on Craigslist.

Days passed and I still had no internet access. Eventually Brandon offered to come over to take a look at the set up. It was my deep hope that he knew more about all this stuff than I did. Thankfully, he did know more about it than I did. But it would turn out, he really didn't need to know more about it.

Roommate #1 drops in while Brandon's hard at work. And in the span of about a 3 minute conversation, it's revealed that he gave me the wrong password Sunday night. So there's our miscommunication. He told me the password and I was gullible enough to believe him.

But now it's all settled. I'm back online, sharing with you, my 43 loyal readers, all about my days of solitude. It was harder than I thought it would be, not having the internet to console me after a long day at work. But that's all over now. It's good to be back.

Lack of Scribblings

I've been slacking lately. Any of my regular readers have probably noticed that I haven't been participating in Sunday Scribblings for the last few weeks. Maybe you haven't noticed. Maybe you don't care. But I'd like to believe that you care. I'd also like to believe that you enjoy my efforts in fiction that I've posted on Sundays past. But just because I'd like to believe it doesn't necessarily make it true. I mean, I'd like to believe I don't need to work in order to earn money, but when will that ever happen?

But I don't want to be a slacker anymore. I don't want to keep being lazy when it comes to making up posts to fit the Sunday Scribblings prompts that show up in my Google Reader every week. And that's all it's come down to over the last few weeks. I've been lazy.

I've seen the prompts that have popped up and I've basically ignored them. I've still managed to post something all the other days of the week, but I've let Sundays slide off the calendar. Well, no more!

I've vowed and promised a number of times in the past that I would post something to the blog every single day. I do well for a while... sometimes for a long while... and then I slack off and start missing days here and there. And here I go, making that "every day" promise again.

I can't promise a new post every day. I'm human. I'll get tired. I'll get lazy. I'll have days when I'm not feeling especially creative. Those days are inevitable. After all, there are only so many subjects to cover when you write about stuff on a daily basis. And, honestly, I don't think my life is all that interesting. But I'll try.

And I'm gonna try to be better about reading other contributors to the Sunday Scribblings. Over at that site, there are dozens of other writers that share links to their blogs. In the past I've sporadically visited these other writers, but I don't usually get involved or leave comments. I suppose it isn't fair for me to hope to have lots of visitors to my blog when I'm unwilling to do the same for theirs. So that's another thing I'm gonna try to do.

I make no promises. And I know that Yoda says there is no try, only do or do not. But I can't say I'll do all the time, because life will inevitably get in the way. But until it does, here I am. Trying.

'Cause I Wonder Where You Are

Monday was a busy day, and it started kind of early. Not really that early for a typical Monday. But this Monday was no typical Monday. It was a vacation Monday. Vacation Mondays are meant for sleeping late. Well, they are if you don't have a job interview at 8:30 in the morning.

More back story...

Around the beginning of February I applied for a couple open social worker positions back home in Roanoke. I've been trying to get out of banking almost the entire time I've worked in banking, this is no secret. Things just haven't really panned out for me thus far. Now, for selfish reasons, I would love to find a job in or around the Raleigh area, making the need to relocate a non-issue. However, jobs are difficult to come by these days. So when one opens up and I have a shot at it, no matter where it is, I'm gonna take the shot.

Applied. Resumed. And went several weeks without hearing anything. So I wrote it off as a negative response. And then I checked my mailbox a couple weeks ago.

I received a letter saying that they wanted me for an interview. The only problem was that the interview was scheduled for the day I received the letter in the mail. Not a great system they have there for letting their potential interviewees that they're wanted for the interview. I mean, there's this little invention called the telephone. I hear it's caught on pretty well. Oh, and the kids keep talking about this "electronic mail" that apparently sends messages instantaneously. You don't even need to pay postage. I don't know if that will catch on. We'll see.

Anyway, the letter informed me that if I wanted the interview, I needed to call by the previous day to confirm my time. So I did what any sane person would do. I hopped in my Wayback Machine and made the phone call. I confirmed my interview, scheduled that Thursday off, then drove into Roanoke to meet and greet my interviewers. But wait, if I did that, then I wouldn't have been there Thursday to receive the letter in the mail and I'd be stuck with a universe altering paradox.

Scratch that. I did not travel back in time.

I called the next morning to see if anything could be arranged. And luckily a phone interview was arranged for the following Monday. So Monday's phone interview came and went. I didn't think it went very well. I really don't like phone interviews. You can't read people's faces so you don't know what they're really thinking. There are long moments of silence while the interviewers are writing things down and you can't help but wonder if your stupid cell phone dropped the call. Very frustrating.

But this past Wednesday I received another call asking if it would be okay for them to check my references. From this, I assumed it was a good sign. And from that, I can assume that my phone interview went better than I initially thought. They called my manager at the bank, who gave me a glowing recommendation. I asked him how badly he had to lie. In his words: "I'm not Catholic, but I did have to go to confession for all the lies I told." He was joking, of course... I think.

And Thursday they called me again, this time to set up an in-person second interview. I'm pretty sure they don't just give second interviews to everyone who fills out an application. I'm taking this as another good sign. This brings us to this vacation Monday. Isn't it great how all this worked out? I just happened to be in Roanoke on vacation at the same time that I was needed for a job interview. It's a little thing I like to call "meant to be."

I'm not trying to count my chickens. I mean, don't get me wrong, the interview went well. I suited up and gave some pretty good answers. I was open and honest and even got a few laughs out of the room. I'm not sure when I'll know if I got the job, but it should be within a couple weeks, I'm sure.

That was the beginning of my Monday. This was followed by some running around. I met Jessica for a breakfast that stretched into lunch. It's great catching up with a friend like that when you haven't seen each other in so long. I visited my grandmother and drove her to pick up my cousin from school. And to top the day off, Mom made chicken and dumplings. And I ate. A lot. I collapsed into a food coma, from which I finally awoke about an hour ago.

All in all it's been a pretty decent trip to the 'Noke.

Hello... Is It Me You're Looking For?

I feel the need to play a little catch up here. I have 38 followers now and that means that 38 people out there have gone three days without seeing anything new from the Carp Dime. If you've had your hopes up all weekend, crossing your fingers, thinking that at some point, maybe late in the night, the Single Guy would post something new, I apologize. I didn't have anything.

Actually, it isn't that I didn't have anything. As you'll see from the following paragraphs, I had plenty. I just didn't have internet access. But to set the stage for the story of this weekend, I have to give some back story. So, please, bear with me.

Back in September, I got together with a group of college friends for a weekend get away at Smith Mountain Lake. Heather's folks have a pretty snazzy house on the water that they let us use from time to time. At the time I wrote a little about it here, but it was more a serious reflection on the importance of these friends in my life than it was a summary of the good times we had over the weekend.

During that weekend, it was announced to the group that our friends Brandon and Kara were expecting their first child, due in April. The months passed and a few of us decided it would be a great idea to have what we have referred to as a "Bromance Baby Shower." The original plan was for the guys of our little group to get together at Mark's house in Bluefield (hometown of our collective alma mater) and throw a pre-fatherhood party for BrandoCommando.

Well, the baby girl decided to make an early appearance. Things are going well for both baby and mama at this point, though being a few weeks early, the baby's still at the hospital 'til she gets a little bigger. But this sort of put the kibosh on getting Brandon to a weekend party in a town two hours from home. So we adjusted the plans.

The guys who were still able to make it went, instead, back to the lake house. Since the house is closer to Roanoke, it made it easier for all of us to meet Brandon and still have a great time. Saturday evening we all came into town and met for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. Afterward, we hit the bowling alley for a game (and remind me to tell you about the messed up system they've got going on), followed by some ice cream. Yeah, we're getting pretty wild at that point.

Honestly, we can't get too wild these days. We've embraced the fact that we're all either in our 30s or quickly approaching them. And half the guys in our group Saturday night are fathers. Yeah. And here I am, the immature guy who has a hard time just talking to women. A story for another time...

Anyway, after the festivities in Roanoke, all of us (except the new dad) headed back to the lake house. Cards were played. Old school Nintendo was played. SNL was watched. It was a good time.

Sunday was a cold and rainy day. No fun to be had on the water, but we still had a great time sitting around catching up, the way friends do when they've spent some time apart. After a quick lunch, we said our good-byes and went our separate ways.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention... Sunday was also my birthday. It's 31, so not really a big deal. But I did have a good birthday. Josh brought along a cake that Heather had made for me. It was Funfetti (with no chocolate, thanks for that). For me, these days, birthdays don't need to be a huge blow out kind of party. Any birthday spent among friends is a special one and is memorable.

I got back to Roanoke Sunday night. Since I had vacation this week, I decided to spend a few days with Mom. I haven't spent any significant time in Roanoke since last summer. Come to think of it, it may be longer than that. So I had internet access Sunday night and Monday. But Sunday night I was pretty exhausted (I told you, Saturday was wild) and Monday was a pretty busy day.

I'll post my Monday story tomorrow. There you go... something to look forward to.