30th - Excitement

Day Thirty... One thing I'm excited for...

As is the case with most other human emotions, excitement isn't something I often feel. Generally, when I do feel excited, it's more of a subdued kind of thing. Excited on me looks more like anyone else's mild amusement.

But I have more than one thing to be excited for at the moment. So, forgive me for bending the rules on this 30th and final challenging blog post.

I'm excited that my summer program is finally over. This means that I have just under a month to sit back and relax. I've got books I can read. I've got friends I can visit. I've got sleep I can catch up on. The next 23 days are going to be glorious.

I'm excited that, during that 23 days, I'll be driving down to Raleigh to visit the Most Awesome Person I Know and her family. I miss those faces.

I'm excited that I also have a part-time gig to keep me occupied during the next few weeks. As the Children's Ministry Assistant at Northstar Church, I get to help out with all kinds of exciting activities that are coming up. If you're looking for something to do with your kids, check out our website to see what's happening soon. If you're looking for a way to get involved and help out with some of those activities, get in touch with me. I cannot describe how much fun I've had working with these kids.

I'm excited that, beginning tomorrow, I'll be posting things written by guest bloggers. So, for a while, I won't have to write anything. And you guys won't have to read my random ramblings. Win/win.

I'm excited that this is the final installment of the 30 Day Blog Challenge. It isn't that I haven't enjoyed posting something every day. Once upon a time, I took pride in the fact that I didn't let a day pass without posting something to Carp Dime. But it's harder than it used to be. Even with the daily prompts, it's kind of hard to come up with something that could be construed as slightly entertaining.

Well, those are my excitements. Granted, I'm not jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs excited. That rarely (if ever) happens. It might happen when the Batman vs. Superman movie comes out, but that's because I'm a big geek.

Come back tomorrow for the first guest post. It's a good one, I've already read ahead.

29th - Weird Things

Day Twenty-Nine... Five weird things that I like...

I don't know how to do this. If it's something I like, why would I think it's weird? Can I do things that other people like that I think is weird? I could probably come up with a hundred of those. But let's not mock my friends today. That's a post for another day. Let's get introspective. Or something...

1. I like putting mayonnaise on hot dogs. People who notice that I've used that particular condiment on a hot dog will, at best, question the choice. At worst, they question my sanity. But don't worry, I often question my sanity as well. But not when it comes to mayo on the hot dog. That's just delicious.
2. I like eating unfrosted Pop-Tarts. And I like to eat them raw. When I say raw, I really just mean untoasted. I never thought this was a strange thing until recently. In one of my previous workplaces, I was mildly persecuted for my choice of the frosting free Pop-Tart. But I ask, if it's that weird, why do they sell them in the stores? If they weren't selling, they wouldn't be on the shelves!
3. I still like reading comic books. And if I had limitless funds, I would still be buying my favorite titles every month. I probably wouldn't save them anymore, like I once did (a blog post for another time), but I'd definitely get them and read them for the entertainment value. I'm not sure this is actually considered weird anymore. I mean, yes, I'm 34 years old and would still read comics if I had the chance. But there seems to have been a movement in recent years embracing geek culture. People are encouraged to release their inner nerd. Geeks are simply people who are passionate about the things they like. Maybe that's not weird anymore.
4. I like being in small spaces. What's the opposite of being claustrophobic? I complained about having a small bedroom growing up. But it's mostly hyperbole. I'm in a small bedroom now, not much larger than the walk-in closet I lived in as a kid. I don't need a lot of space. I don't want a lot of space. I'm not saying that I crawl under the kitchen sink whenever I get upset, I'm not that weird. I'm just saying that I would be completely comfortable living in a small studio apartment on a long-term basis. Square footage means nothing to me.
5. I like yelling at the moon when it can be seen during the day. It's not right for the moon to be seen against a blue sky! It belongs in the night! That's not my rule. It's God's. "And God made the two great lights--the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night--and the stars." - Genesis 1:16

Those are my weird things. I mean, the first four I don't actually think are that weird. To me, they're normal. Number five, though... that's a little out there. I mean, really, who yells at the moon?

28th - Get Outta Town

Day Twenty-Eight... Somewhere I would like to move or visit...

So many places. I kind of feel like I could live anywhere. I'm single with plenty of flexibility in my career that I could pretty much pick up and go wherever I'd like to go. And I'm tempted to do so every few years or so. I always manage to stay fairly close to home, but there's a small part of me that would really like to move far, far away. Like Seattle. Or Portland. Or Austin. Or Topeka.

As for places I'd like to visit... Well, I'd like to visit a place before I move there. So if I were to plan a move to Seattle or Portland or Austin or Topeka, I'd want to take a tour around town first. But there are tons of places I'd love to visit. But traveling costs money. I'd like to say this is gonna be a "someday" kind of thing, but really, some day may never actually arrive. So here are my someday/never places I'd love to visit...

• Australia
• Paris
• Rome
• Greece
• London
• Hawaii
• Chicago
• New York, again
• Los Angeles, again
• Boston, again
• Brazil, again

I'm certain that's not all. I'd be willing to bet that the list is more like a living document that will change and expand as time goes on and I continue to not actually visit these places. But, maybe someday...

27th - Words to Live By

Day Twenty-Seven... almost there... A quote I try to live by.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

This is a quote attributed to Winston Churchill, who is a very quotable individual. Now, I can't prove that he said this. I never heard the words come from his mouth. I've never read anything he's written or seen videos of speeches he's given. I just assume that the many sources I've seen over the years are correct.

This quote is actually part of the signature on my emails. I just like the meaning behind it, encouraging us to give of ourselves in order to make life better. I kind of feel like I'm lucky in that, the thing I do for a living gives me plenty of opportunities to give of myself to make someone else's life a little better.

26th - Likes/Dislikes

Twenty-Six... What I like and dislike about myself... I'm gonna limit myself to three of each. I feel like if I come up with too many likes, you'll believe me to be way too self-involved. If I come up with too many dislikes, you'll think I'm way too self-deprecating.

Likes:

• My singing voice... I've been told by a number of people throughout my life that I have a good voice. I don't think I'm anything great. I've certainly known people who are far better than I am. But I also think there are some professionals out there that I could beat at SingStar. In fact, I'm issuing a challenge to a certain Britney Spears. I daresay I could out sing her on Baby One More Time, her own hit song. Gauntlet's been thrown down!
• My sense of humor... I think I'm pretty funny. I crack myself up all the time. I mean, it's mostly sarcasm, which can turn a lot of people off. But I think those people are just jealous that they're not as witty as I am.
• My incredible memory... I wouldn't claim to have an eidetic memory. But in a lot of things, I might be pretty close. It's crazy some of the things I can remember. There are a lot of things that I pretend to have forgotten just so I don't look like a know-it-all all the time. I shouldn't do that, though. I think I should probably embrace my cesspool of useless knowledge.

Dislikes:

• My apparent lack of humility... See the above, where I'm willing to brag on a few of the things that make me awesome. And yes, those are just a few.
• The sweat glands under my eyes... That's the first place where I sweat when I start to overheat. For years, I didn't like this about myself simply because it made me look like I was crying. Now that I wear glasses, they get fogged up all too easily. It's really annoying.
• The road rage... It's really ridiculous. Embarrassingly so.

25th - Worried

Day Twenty-Five... Something I'm worried about...

Uh... nothing. That was easy.

On an unrelated note, I've noticed that I rarely get comments on here. I love getting comments. Yet I rarely receive them. I've also noticed that some people can do as little as post a picture of their adorable children and get 82 comments. So I'm posting a picture of an adorable 3-year-old and I expect to receive no fewer than 20 comments by noon on Thursday.

Yeah... it's me. So what?

24th - Make Me Laugh

Day Twenty-Four... Five words or phrases that make me laugh.

I'm not sure I'm able to narrow this down to only five. I like to laugh. And I like to make people laugh. I'll give it a shot, though. Try and forgive me if all of these end up being quotes from movies or TV shows.

1. "I like it! What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Beef, gooood!" - Joey, Friends, describing Rachel's traditional English trifle on Thanksgiving.
2. "True story." - Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother... Not funny by itself. But I sort of laugh internally every time I say it following a blatant lie.
3. "Someday your sarcasm is gonna get you punched in the face." - Mark Hipes... Not sure what I said to deserve this, but it made me laugh. Actually, I'm not sure if I should laugh or feel afraid.
4. "Duties" - Come on... tell me you didn't just laugh at that.
5. "Ronald Reagan?! The actor?" Doc Brown, Back to the Future... His response to Marty's information of who's president in 1985.

Actually, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. There are a lot of words/phrases that are only funny in the moment. Comedy is all about timing. Making a list of funny words or phrases just isn't that funny. It's like hearing the punchline of a joke without knowing the set up first.

23rd - Something Missing

Day Twenty-Three... Something that I miss...

I don't spend a lot of time missing things. To me, that feels a bit much like living in the past. Honestly, I miss people more than I miss things, but even that can become a pointless kind of depressing. When you miss people, often you can do something about it. If it's someone who's moved away, call them on the phone. If it's someone who's passed away, reminisce about the good times you had with that person.

Things are different. Things come and go. That's just the nature of... well... things. No point hanging on to something that's temporary at best. But I suppose, if I really sit and think about it, there are some things that I miss.

• Quantum Leap - It was a great show. And it never had a proper ending. Scott Bakula's still acting. I don't understand why we can't get a cheaply made SyFy movie follow up. If Sharknado can get a sequel, why can't Dr. Sam Beckett?
• Lite-Brite - I know they still make some version of this toy. But it's not the same as it was when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure it was a very dangerous fire hazard. I mean, we attached black construction paper to the grid, beneath which lay a light bulb that got pretty freakin' hot. We used the colored pegs to make designs, effectively shoving tiny shreds of paper into the area containing the bulb. It was like kindling. But I have fond memories of sitting in the floor watching cartoons and creating awesomely lit 3D-ish pictures.
• Spirograph - Another childhood creativity toy that I'm sure is still out there somewhere, albeit in a poorly cloned version of itself. Come to think of it, there's probably an app for that.'
• Fruitopia - Does anyone else remember this drink? Specifically, I miss the Strawberry Passion Awareness flavor. I'm sure it was all sugar and no actual fruit juice. But it was delicious.
• Harry Potter - Maybe it's because I'm sitting here watching ABC Family's 974th Harry Potter marathon weekend. Maybe it's because JK herself just wrote an article from the point of view of Rita Skeeter at the Quidditch World Cup. I don't think I'm alone in saying it'd be pretty cool to have a follow up novel following a grown-up Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Or maybe their kids.
• Arcades - Remember when you could go to the mall with a pocketful of quarters and find hours of entertainment? Ms. Pac-Man (why wasn't this called Pac-Woman?), Donkey Kong, pinball machines... so much nostalgia. Apparently the arcades were attracting an undesirable crowd. Thanks a lot, modern youths. Ruining for the rest of us.

I guess those are some things I miss. Again, why miss things? Life is complicated enough without dwelling on the things we just don't have anymore.

Found this on Pinterest. I know it's not real. But how awesome would that be?

22nd - Academic

Day Twenty-Two... My academics...

I'm not sure how this turns into an actual blog post. To me, this is just a short blurb on my resume. I guess it just means I can take it easy today.

I graduated from Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia in 1998. I'm sure there's a name for the diploma I received, but I don't know it. I'm sure it's just the standard diploma that the Virginia Department of Education gives out to every high school graduate.

In 2003 I walked across the stage at Bluefield College with a Bachelor of Arts on Christian Studies and a Bachelor of Science in Behavioral Science.

And that is the sum total of my completed educational experience. Tomorrow should be a little deeper. It's something that I miss.

21st - The Future

Day Twenty-One... How I hope my future will be...

Sidebar: Last night when I was looking ahead at what today's post would be, at first glance, I could've sworn it said furniture instead of future. Why would I care what my furniture will be like? Then I looked again. I must've been pretty tired when I read that.

I almost feel like I should just post a link to my bucket list. Because what is a bucket list if not a list of hopes for the future? Yeah, I posted a link to the bucket list. But here are some of my hopes for the future.

• I hope I'm able to retire someday.
• I hope I get an Olympic gold medal in curling.
• I hope I marry the love of my life.
• I hope I meet the love of my life.
• I hope I finally make it on to Jeopardy! 
• I hope I make the time to actually finish one of the 37 novels I've attempted to start over the years.
• I hope I get it published.
• I hope that DC Comics re-couples Lois and Clark in continuity again. (That whole Superman/Wonder Woman coupling just isn't natural.)
• I hope I get a hippopotamus for Christmas.
• I hope I get a chance to ride a roller coaster this summer.
• I hope I'm able to someday go on that epic cross-country road trip.
• I hope I can live the Big Brother house for a summer.
• I hope I can figure out how to loft my bed so I can make a little extra room in my room.

That's all for now. Except that I'm reminded of two very different quotes about hope from two very different movies...

"Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness." - The Architect, The Matrix Reloaded

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption

So The Matrix sequel was pretty bad. But Shawshank was awesome.

20th - Fear

Day Twenty. My fears...

It's funny. A few months ago, after I read Divergent, then watched the movie, I thought about doing a post about the "fear landscape" featured in the story. If you haven't read the book or seen the film, the Dauntless faction have this initiation ritual known as the "fear landscape" in which initiates face their worst fears in a subconscious kind of simulation. I got to wondering what would be in my fear landscape.

Some of the characters in the book were forced to face drowning, heights, and being forced to hurt or kill a loved one. I kind of felt like my fears would be a little wimpy compared to those.

First - Clowns. Plain and simple, clowns are evil. I am literally paralyzed with fear when I see a clown in person. Maybe not literally. I have a little more self control than to completely freeze up. But I definitely get really anxious. And I don't normally get anxious over things.

Second - Talking to a girl I like. It helps that I'm generally a quiet person anyway, so it doesn't seem so weird when I'm keeping my mouth shut around a pretty girl. And if I'm working up the courage to ask her out, forget about it. Last time I made that move, it took me approximately five hours to actually pick up the phone.

Third - Snakes. If Indiana Jones can be afraid of snakes, so can I.

Fourth - Being forced to watch Batman & Robin. Did you ever see that scene from A Clockwork Orange where they pried Malcolm McDowell's eyes open for the reprogramming stuff? I think that's how they'd have to force me to watch that thing again.

Not the most impressive fear landscape, I know. But clowns. You've gotta give me coulrophobia. It's a thing. Look it up.

19th - Lust

Day Nineteen... Five items I lust after.

No exclamation point. I'm done with exclaiming things! Okay, that was the last one. For now. Five items I lust after? Is it even possible to lust after objects?

I'm not convinced... Let's give it a shot, though.

1. Playstation 4 - I don't often play video games these days. But when I do get around to it, wouldn't it be nice to have the latest, top of the line system?
2. An awesome digital camera - I used to really be into photography and taking awesome photographs. But the only decent camera I have is an old fashioned film camera. Do you have any idea how expensive it is to have film developed these days? I would take so many more photos if the only camera I had wasn't included with my cellular device.
3. A library - I want to live in a place that has an extra room that's being used for nothing but storing books. Alphabetically by author, of course.
4. IBC Cherry Limeaids - I've had other brands of cherry limeaid. They do not measure up. Not by a long shot.
5. Five seasons of Community on DVD - Because I like to laugh.

I really don't think I "lust" after these items. Maybe I have a different idea of what the word lust means than the person who created this blog challenge does.

18th - Problem

Day Eighteen! Sidebar... I'm finding it more difficult to feel the exclamation points. I used to take daily blog posts in stride. This is a lot harder than I remember it being. Anyway, today's assignment is a problem that I have had. Fitting since I seem to be having a problem coming up with appropriate words for each day's topic...

Aside from having trouble coming up with things to write about in relation this blog challenge, I'm having a hard time thinking of problems off the top of my head. So is it a problem that I can't think of any problems?

I'm not the kind of person that stresses out too often. Though, I have to admit, I do worry about some things on the rarest of occasions. When those times come around, though, the problem is usually money.

Let me state, without reservation, that I hate money. I hate the necessity for money. I hate that it has such a stranglehold on all of our lives at one time or another. But it is a necessity. Food, clothing, shelter... they all require money. Unless you happen to be the kind of person who can find yourself in the middle of nowhere and live off the land. I am not that kind of person.

I've probably said it a hundred times, I love my job. I love working with kids and I love being able to feel like I'm making a small difference in their lives. But it's not a job that pays very well.

On paper, it's enough to get by. But then you throw in snow days and summer break. When I'm not working directly with the kids at school, I'm not getting paid. Sure, it's nice to have days off. But a couple weeks later, when that paycheck hits my account, it kind of plays havoc with my ability to pay the rent.

So yeah, money can be a problem. I'm fairly certain that I'll never be the kind of guy who can claim to be wealthy. I'm okay with that. Though it would be nice to, someday, not necessarily have to wonder every couple of months if I'm gonna have enough cash to put gas in my car.

17th - Proud

Day Seventeen! Something that I'm proud of...

I'm not sure what this means. Is this supposed to be something about myself that I'm proud of? Another person that I'm proud of?

I'll keep this brief. For one thing, I'm getting a later start on this post than I'd initially planned. For another, I'm not a big fan of bragging on myself. So as far as being proud of something personal, I'm proud of the job that I do. I'm not saying I'm great at my job. I'm just saying I'm proud of the work that I'm a part of. And that pertains to both my jobs. As a counselor, I truly believe that I'm able to make small differences to effect change for the better in the lives of the kids I work with. As a part-time staffer at my church, I'm able to assist in a number of ministries, particularly those involving the children of our church.

Being proud of others comes a little easier, I think. It's not like I'm a parent who feels a swell of pride when my kids do something spectacular. It's more of a pride I have in the friends I know. I've known so many people who have done so much with their lives. They've taken great steps in faith. They've gone out on limbs and taken risks in order to improve not only their lives, but the lives of the people around them. I'm proud of so many of my friends' accomplishments. Too many to list here.

16th - What If?

Day Sixteen! Something I always think "what if..." about.

I don't typically think "what if..." about stuff. That implies that I'm living life with regrets. Or does it? I don't regret the choices I've made in my life. But I suppose that there have been a number of situations throughout my life that I could be curious about how things may have gone differently had I made a different choice.

Back in 2006, when Dad passed away, I quit my job as a day treatment counselor in Roanoke. What if I'd stayed? What if I hadn't decided to run to North Carolina to start seminary? At the time, I didn't feel the same about being a counselor as I do now. These days, I love it more than any other job I've ever had. Eight years ago, I liked it, but it wasn't something I enjoyed getting up in the morning to do. But it's possible I could have excelled at the job way back when. Maybe I'd have eventually worked on a masters degree that would have helped me move up in the company I worked for.

I know for one thing, I wouldn't have worked for the bank in North Carolina. I would not have grown close to a family that all but adopted me. I wouldn't have cultivated one of the greatest friendships I've ever known.

But what if I'd stayed in North Carolina instead of moving back to Virginia? What if I'd continued working for the bank in Raleigh?

The truth of the matter is, I was miserable where I was in North Carolina. That friendship that I made while I was there? One of the greatest I've known? Well, it was with a person who had been going through a great deal of turmoil, a lot of it at the hands of a local church. One might even say churches... plural... Due in part to watching her experiences, as well as a few negative experiences of my own, I was without a church. I wanted nothing to do with a church. That certainly didn't help my frame of mind where the misery was concerned.

I also hated my job. I despised working for the bank. I liked the majority of my coworkers. But customer service was just not something I was cut out for. Especially at the drive through. If you've ever been a bank teller, you probably know what I'm talking about. Going to the bank can really bring out the worst in a lot of people. Probably most people.

If I'd stayed down there, I might have gone insane. I had a family that loved and cared about me. I daresay they still love and care about me. But I was not in a place where I was willing to allow people to love and care about me. I pushed people away. So I pushed myself away.

And if I'd stayed, I would not find myself back in the role of day treatment counselor. I would not be in a job that I absolutely love. I would not have found my way to a church family that has challenged and encouraged me to grow and serve in new and exciting ways. I would not have formed new relationships with people whom I have no doubt will stay in my heart for the rest of my life.

So I guess I do think "what if..." sometimes. But that doesn't mean I regret any of my life decisions. Every little thing happens for a purpose. It's exciting to discover those purposes as they come along.

15th - Zodiac

Day Fifteen! What's my sign and do I think it fits my personality?

Here's the thing. I don't pay attention to astrology. I don't buy into that stuff. I think it's a lot of random vagueness that makes no sense. So I've had to do some research on the subject.

For some time now, I've been aware of the fact that I'm a Pisces. This is due to the fact that I was born on March 6. According to an article on the interwebz, here are 10 characteristics of a Pisces. I'll include my thoughts on if that matches my personality...

1. Oversensitive - I don't think I'm oversensitive. I feel like I'm pretty good at letting things go. I really don't let things bother me.
2. Compassionate - I'll buy this one. I think, as a counselor, if I didn't have a decent compassionate streak, I wouldn't be very good at my job. Though I will say I believe my compassion has its limits.
3. Indecisive - Okay, this is definitely me. I'm one of those guys who will stand around with a group of people after church for 15 minutes trying to decide on a place to have lunch, despite the fact that my stomach is actively shrinking.
4. Dreamer and Artistic - I don't know about the dreamer part. I don't sit around daydreaming about places I want to go or things I want to do or people I want to meet. But I do like doing the creative artistic stuff.
5. Escapist - If escapist means that I like to get away from people from time to time, then yes, I could be considered escapist.
6. Adaptive - If adaptive means that I can think on my feet and go with the flow, then yes, I'm adaptive.
7. Self-Pitying - Okay, this one I'm not sure about. I think I can be self-pitying on occasion, but I think those occasions are rare. I don't see the point in feeling sorry for myself when I could do something to change my situation and make things better.
8. Social - HA!
9. Idealist - I don't think of myself as an idealist. I feel like I'm guided more by practicality than ideals.
10. Romantic and Love-Struck - I don't know why these two things are necessarily grouped together. No, it makes sense. But I feel like I have the potential to be one and not the other. I don't consider myself someone who is easily love-struck. Maybe when I was younger. But not these days. I'm too logical for that kind of nonsense. But on the romantic side, I feel like I could easily display that characteristic if given the opportunity. Guess I'll just have to find a girl who'll let me.

Any of my close friends reading this, feel free to correct me on those if you'd like. By my score, I'd give myself a 5.5 out of 10. I'd be interested to know the personalities of other Pisces and how they match this whole thing.

Reading up on my alleged Pisces personality has not convinced me that astrology is a legit thing that I should be paying attention. At all.

14th - What I Wore

Day Fourteen! The one where I tell you what I wore today. More evidence that this list was aimed at the ladies. I typically don't care what I wear from day to day. I'll put some thought into it if I'm going to a wedding or a funeral or the opera. Other than those events, it's basically the same kind of stuff every day.

But I did make sure to look through the stack of t-shirts for the little gem I'm wearing in this picture. You know... 'Cause 'MURICA!

I was told to make an angry face. I don't remember why.

13th - Body Image

Day Thirteen! On the agenda for today is my opinion about my body and how comfortable I am with it. This topic, along with yesterday's original assignment to choose five guys that are attractive, make me believe that this 30 Day Challenge was originally intended to be taken by female bloggers. I suppose it's more likely that women will have body image issues. That doesn't mean that men don't have body image issues. It probably just means men don't typically advertise their issues. Advertise is the wrong word. I don't mean it like that. Men tend to have a reputation of repressing. We hold things in if we're bothered. We really shouldn't do that. And it's possible that I'm just reading society incorrectly and now I'm just rambling.

Personally, I don't have issues with my body. From a medical standpoint, I could stand to lose some weight. I have certain goals for myself that I'm working toward, both in terms of weight and, more importantly, exercise. I once had a goal of running a 10k. I met that goal. For some reason I lost my motivation to keep moving forward and sort of backslid in both of those categories. Now I have a new goal for myself, to run a half marathon. But, at this point, I should probably make the goal to once again do a proper 10k.

I look in the mirror and I'm okay with who I am. I don't necessarily like getting winded when I run up a flight of stairs, but that goes back to the whole being in shape thing. Look, I know I'm not a 10. I doubt that there are many women who see me walking down the street and think, "Wow, that is one fine specimen!" But I don't think I'm a bad looking guy. I think the recent additions of glasses and the full beard have helped. I'm not sure if they make me look younger or more mature.

Though I was told by an Old Navy coworker that she thought I was 25. I thanked her, because I'm nearly a decade beyond 25. Most people who aren't aware of my 34-ness will guess that I'm around 27 or 28. I really don't mind that people assume I'm younger than I am. Because really, I still feel like I'm in my early 20s, fresh out of college. But that's more of a maturity thing and not a body image thing.

So yeah, I'm okay with who I am overall. That doesn't mean I won't still make regular trips to the gym. But, please note, I'm not going to the gym because I'm trying to impress anyone. I'm going to the gym because I want to continue feeling good about myself. Also, I want to be able to run up a flight of stairs without getting winded.

12th - Attractive

Day Twelve! Okay... the directions found on the Pinterest tell me to list five guys whom I find attractive. But, as I explained in my initial acceptance of this 30 Day Blog Challenge, I'm gonna go ahead and change that to ladies. I just think women are prettier. Much more attractive than guys. Also, as a disclaimer, I am limiting my list of five to women that I have never met, nor is it likely that I will ever meet them. I don't even want to think about the repercussions of ranking the attractiveness of five women that I know personally. So, without further ado, here are my top five female celebrities ranked in the most superficial way possible...

1. Alison Brie - It could just be her character of Annie from Community that I like. I don't know. Probably doesn't matter. I already said I was being superficial here.

2. Carrie Underwood - I know that I still wouldn't have a shot even if she wasn't married to some hockey player. But, I mean, it'd still be pretty cool to sing a duet with her, right?

3. Jenna Coleman - Of all the Doctor's companions, I think she's the adorablest. Stop judging me, Spellcheck! It is a word!

4. Sarah Michelle Gellar - Two words: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I rest my case.

5. Jennifer Lawrence - I kinda just like that she seems like the kind of girl that you could have fun with no matter what you're doing. 'Cause she doesn't care about looking stupid in front of people.

Honorable Mention: Lois Lane - Sure, she's a fictional character. But she's an awesome fictional character. She doesn't take crap off of anyone and melted the heart of the Man of Steel. What's not to love?

I promise... tomorrow I'll try to be less superficial. Wait... I just checked the list. Tomorrow is about my opinion about my body and how comfortable I am with it. Yeah, that won't be superficial at all. Spoiler alert: I'm totally cool with my body. Take that, Men's Health magazine!

11th - My Family

Day Eleven! Today's assignment is simply, "Your Family." That's kind of vague. So I'm going to attempt to piece together my own family history. Please note: this will only include the history of my immediate family, excluding grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

My family history began on April 8, 1978. That's the day that my parents, Teresa Metts and Grayson Peck, said their wedding vows in the presence of God, family, and friends in the sanctuary of Villa Heights Baptist Church. I wasn't there, but I'm sure it was a magical night, culminating in a bunch of people decorating a Pinto wagon in the tackiest way imaginable. Not that a Pinto wagon needed much help in looking tacky. I know these things because I once perused the wedding album that sat on our coffee table throughout my childhood.

Speaking of which... I came along on March 6, 1980. My sister, April, was born a little more than two years later on November 10. We lived on Reece Road in Salem, Virginia. I was a great big brother until I developed my trademark sarcastic personality. From then on I tormented my sister, usually without her really getting that I was tormenting her.

Around the time I was due to begin the 1st grade, we moved to an apartment complex in Roanoke. We were there until the early 90s, at which point my parents bought their first house on Denniston Avenue. It was kind of a fixer-upper. Looking back, I'm not sure that both of my parents were on the same page when it came to their ability to fix-up a fixer-upper.

Not long after I left for college, things began to fall apart. Financial difficulties forced my parents to leave the only home they ever owned. They moved to a rented duplex on Oakland Blvd., still in Roanoke. It wasn't long after that the marriage itself fell apart. After 24 years together, my parents divorced. Something, obviously, was missing.

12 years later, I still don't understand. Before Dad passed away, I discussed the situation with him. I've also discussed it with Mom. There is no possible explanation that can be given to make me understand. I'm sure I could speculate, but a blog really isn't a good forum for such a thing. I'll save that for the therapist that I'm sure I should see to deal with my decades of baggage.

For a long time I've allowed my parents' failed marriage to keep me from opening my heart to others. Often, I question, "What's the point?" So many times, falling in love, making oneself vulnerable, leads to pain. Confusion. Heartache. But it's also kept me from experiencing all the positives that come with exploring new friendships and relationships. They're positives that I can't even list here because I'm not entirely sure what they are. I'm sure joy is in there somewhere. Laughter, maybe?

God is changing me. He's changing my heart. And He's using my past to help with that process. He's helping me to see that nobody is perfect. People make mistakes. He's helping me to choose to look past those mistakes and to learn from them in order to make my life a better one.

I'm single. Have been all my adult life. Maybe that's the path that God has me on from here to eternity. But maybe not. Maybe, just maybe, He's got a new family history for me, waiting to begin in a time and place of His choosing. Either way, it's a story I'm looking forward to living.