I've had a lot of days off lately. Most of these days away from school have not been by choice. While I haven't complained about the time off from work, I do have a complaint about the way I've spent that time.
Wednesday was a day off. Not due to weather or any other crazy school closing reasons. I took the day off by choice. The company I work for occasionally offers to give its counselors a free day, provided they turn in all of their paperwork by a certain deadline. So I get paid day off for doing my job. Not bad.
But there's so much I could have done with my day Wednesday. There's some current paperwork that I've fallen behind on. I certainly could have worked on that. I've got books that I've been wanting to read. I could have picked those up. And, of course, there are all those ideas I've got in my head about being a writer. I could have strung together some words that day.
As it was, the most productive thing I did all day was clean out my car. Believe me, it was needed. I still had things in the backseat that had been sitting there since Christmas. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that particular style of apathy.
I did work that night. We did inventory at the store. Which meant I was counting clothes until midnight. That translated into not much sleep Wednesday night.
Today I made up for it. I woke up at my normal time, ready to get ready for school. Then the news came that the county had once again canceled due to dangerous driving conditions. It's getting to the point where I can say, "School's canceled? Must be Friday..."
Once I knew I didn't have to get up, I went right back to sleep. I didn't open my eyes again until after 10:30. I can't remember the last time I slept that late. And I absolutely hate sleeping in like that. I feel like I've wasted the day.
Eventually I went over to the gym, so it's not as if I just sat in my room all day. But still, did I get caught up on any paperwork? Nope. Did I go grocery shopping, despite the fact that I need to do that? Nope. Did I hit up the post office to see if my final W-2 had arrived? Of course not.
Does this mean that I'm incredibly lazy? I really hope not. I don't mean to be. I feel like I should want to do more with my time on days like these, though.
Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, how do you fight laziness?
Friday, February 08, 2013
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Erynn's Challenge, Part Two
Stop! Before you go any further, you're gonna want to go back and read Part One of Erynn's Challenge. Oh, and my apologies to Erynn. She pointed out that her original challenge gave me the name Traylor, not Taylor. Oops... Also, I'm sorry about this taking so long to get around to part two. There will be a part three. And I promise I won't wait another four months to deliver it. Anyway, without further ado, Part Two...
Name: Taylor Steele
Location: Route 66
Object: Magic 8-Ball
Emotion: Nostalgia
Taylor awoke to the sight of sunlight streaming through the living room curtains. She could barely open her eyes. They hurt; dry and burning from the overproduction of tears as she drifted off to sleep the previous night.
She didn't feel like moving. She was curled into a ball under a quilt on the couch and she had a mind to remain that way all day. But the call of nature was too strong.
Taylor cast aside the blanket and slowly stood. Her body ached as she stretched out for the first time in hours. She silently reminded herself that most of her actions would be forced for a while. Even walking upstairs to use the bathroom.
That was her first step to making it through her day. Moving like a zombie, she took the stairs one by one. With each footfall, she felt that she won a small victory. After what felt like an hour, she made it to her bathroom. It was the one that connected to her bedroom, the room she couldn't bring herself to sleep in.
Once she had used the bathroom, she stood at the sink and stared at the wreck of a woman in the mirror. She couldn't help but laugh at herself a little. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was all over the place. She bent down and splashed water into her face, hoping it would miraculously wash away the emotion that was still so evident. When she looked back in the mirror, she was disappointed to find it hadn't worked.
Taylor moved back into the hallway, pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she walked. She had no idea what she should do next, but figured breakfast was as good an idea as any. At the top of the stairs, she glanced over at the office. She had the nagging feeling that she was forgetting something, but she shrugged it off and descended the stairs.
When she reached the fridge, she stared blankly at the many plastic containers filled with leftovers provided by friends and family. With no thought of what makes for an appropriate breakfast, she reached for a pan of lasagna and cut out a piece from the corner.
She watched the lasagna rotate as the microwave heated it up. Even this small thing served to remind her of Mason. But this time, instead of bursting into tears, she smiled. Mason always hated the edge pieces. It didn't matter if it was lasagna or brownies. He didn't like how the sides and corners got crisp and crunchy. Taylor loved it.
The microwave beeped loudly. She pulled out the plate and devoured the hot lasagna as if she had not eaten in days. She was certain she had eaten at some point, but it had been a long few days.
Taylor set her plate and fork in the sink and slowly moved toward the living room. She resumed her comfortable position on the couch and began absentmindedly flipping through the channels. She was in a complete daze. She watched the television without actually seeing what was on. The sound of her phone ringing caused her to jump.
She reached for her cell and saw that it was Leslie. Taylor rolled her eyes, but was still touched when she thought about her friend checking up on her. "I thought I said I'd call you," she said as she answered the phone.
"I know," said Leslie, "but I worry."
"Well, you don't need to. I'm fine," Taylor said, "relatively speaking."
There was a moment of silence before Leslie spoke again. "Did you see what's on the flash drive yet?"
"Ugh!" shouted Taylor. "I knew I was forgetting something!" Keeping the phone to her ear, she made her way back up the stairs. "Wait, how did you know about it?" she asked as she climbed.
"Please! Rob can't keep a secret to save his life. Especially from me."
"Do you know what's on it?"
"Not really," said Leslie, "Rob could only guess. He thinks it's a video. Some kind of message from Mason left for you. That's why I really called. If it's a video of Mason, I'm worried about your reaction."
"Why? You think it's a bad message?" asked Taylor.
"Not at all. You just never know how seeing and hearing him might affect you."
Taylor almost told her of the effect that watching her wedding video had on her the night before. But she held back. She wasn't sure why she had a hard time letting her best friend know she was allowing herself to have real emotions. She did, however, know that she did not want to appear needy. She wanted to deal with the beginning of this new life on her own.
"Really, Les, I'll be fine," Taylor said as she powered up the laptop. "I'll call you later to let you know Mason's message from beyond the grave." She flinched as she said the words. She had been attempting humor, but regretted it immediately.
"Funny," Leslie said. Her words dripped with sarcasm.
"Seriously, though, don't worry so much. We'll talk later."
Leslie sighed on the other end of the line. "Okay. Talk to you soon."
Taylor hung up the phone and set it down on the desk, right next to where the flash drive lay. She reached for the drive and plugged it into the computer. While she waited for the folder to open automatically, she put her head in her hands.
She wasn't ready to cry again. But Leslie was right when she said there was no way of knowing how watching this thing would affect her. After all, seeing him in his tux and hearing him say, "I do," had caused her to lose control of her emotions until she lost consciousness.
Taylor looked back at the screen and took a deep breath before clicking on the only file on the drive. It was labeled For Taylor. It was password protected. Taylor smirked at the thought that Mason couldn't trust Rob not to snoop. She sat back and stared for a moment at the blinking cursor inside the little box on the screen. Her smirk grew into a smile as she typed the word Paradise, then clicked OK.
It wasn't an uncommon word for a password. Anyone could have figured it out if they had bothered to dig a little bit. But no one ever did. For Taylor and Mason, Paradise was a reminder of their first date. But it wasn't the first date that all their friends knew about. This was the first date that happened before their first date.
Taylor had been looking forward to a night alone at the theater. The Paradise was showing a marathon of 80s movies all weekend and tonight they were showing The Goonies. As a kid, it was one of her favorite movies. She was pretty sure that she had watched the old VHS copy so many times that it eventually wore the tape out. Taylor never got tired of hearing how Sloth loved Chunk. As fate would have it, alone was not the way she would be spending her night.
"I know you, don't I?" said the guy sitting in the row in front of her.
Taylor squinted, trying to make out his features in the very dim light before the movie started. "I don't think so. I'm pretty good with faces," she said.
"Yeah, I do. You're Leslie's friend," he said as he stood up.
Now she was a little scared. Did she have a stalker? Who was this guy and why was he now standing up to talk to her?
"Sorry," he said, as if he realized he was giving off a creepy vibe, "I'm Mason. Rob's roommate? Rob is Leslie's..."
"...Boyfriend," Taylor finished his sentence for him, "Yeah, I remember now. Leslie's mentioned you a couple times. Aren't we supposed to meet next weekend at some awkward get together that she's arranging?"
"Yeah, I think so," said Mason. He pointed to the empty seat beside her, "Do you mind?"
"By all means," she said. He is kind of cute, she thought. Why not get to know him a little before officially meeting him? He hopped over the back of his seat and into her row, spilling some of his popcorn in her lap in the process. "Seriously?" she said, a little annoyed. Great first impression, dude.
Before taking his seat he looked down at her. "I am so sorry, I really didn't think..." he cut himself off. Taylor just looked up at him, clearly irritated. She brushed the popcorn off her lap and onto the floor. "I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, when I get nervous I get kind of fidgety and tend to do stupid, spontaneous things without thinking."
"I guess it's all right," she said. "It could have been worse. You could have spilled your drink on me."
"I was saving that for after the movie," Mason said, flashing the smile that Taylor would soon fall completely in love with. She couldn't help but laugh, and it was as if the popcorn incident never happened.
They watched the movie together. There was no hand holding, no arm around her shoulder. They just sat together watching a movie they both loved, occasionally whispering some profound insight about a deleted scene they had read about somewhere or talking about where certain actors are now. After the credits finished rolling, they both stood.
"Thanks for not actually pouring your Coke on me," said Taylor as she put on her jacket.
"I was happy to not do it," said Mason as he stretched his legs. "Let me walk you to your car."
Taylor nodded and walked beside him as they left the theater. He held the door for her as she exited the building, giving him a couple bonus points in her eyes. They walked slowly down the sidewalk making their way to her car. It was as if neither of them wanted the walk to end. She looked over at him. "Aren't you cold?" she asked, watching her breath float away with each word that escaped her lips.
Mason just shook his head, "Nah, it's not so bad out here." She would later find out that he had been lying. He just didn't want her to know that he was freezing.
"How should we deal with Leslie's not so subtle set up next week?" asked Mason while Taylor fumbled for her keys.
"Well, I say we fake it," she said, unlocking her car door, "Pretend like we've never met. I think it could be fun to just keep tonight between us." They stared into each others eyes for a long moment, sharing an attraction for one another that was almost instantaneous.
"I like that," Mason said. She was nervous. It was a feeling she had not felt around a guy in a long time. Part of her wanted him to kiss her, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She could tell he was nervous too.
"So, I guess I'll see you next week," she said, then sank into her car.
"I can't wait," Mason said. He closed the door for her, then he stood at the curb until she drove out of sight.
Taylor shook herself from her memory as the image of her husband appeared on the computer screen. She took a deep breath and clicked play.
"Hey, beautiful," Mason said in a hushed voice. She recognized the room behind him as the same room in which she now sat. It was dark in the office, the only light came form the glow of the screen in front of Mason.
He must have snuck in here while I slept one night, she thought. Mason continued, "I knew you'd have no trouble figuring out the password. "And I knew Rob would have no clue. I'm sure he's tried at some point. I love that our first date is still a secret between us."
"Mason?" Taylor heard her own voice in the background.
"I'm in the office, hun!" he called back over his shoulder.
"Is everything okay?" It felt weird hearing herself in the distance.
Mason winked into the camera and said, "Yeah, I just can't sleep. Playing the Sims 'til I get sleepy again."
There was no response. "You must be asleep again. Sorry about that little fib. I could sleep just fine if I wanted to. But I want to get this done while I still look the way I want you to remember me."
"Okay," Mason started again, taking his own deep breath, "I don't know how much time I have. Tonight, I mean. I know we still have a few months together, and I hope they're wonderful. I just mean that you could wake up again and get nosy. I love your inquisitive nature, but I need you out of the loop for a while.
"First, I want you to know just how much I love you. I loved you the night we met, I just didn't have the nerve to admit it right away. Each moment that's passed since that night has only made me love you more. Cheesy enough? Good."
Taylor smiled but wiped a few fresh tears from her cheeks. "Hey, if I just made you cry, I'm sorry. But I do hope you're letting yourself cry. I know you're gonna try to be strong for me and our families over the next few months, because that's who you are. But you're allowed to be sad. I'm pretty awesome. That's a lot to deal with not having around anymore.
"You know the bucket list we made together? From my perspective it was just yesterday. There are plenty of things on there that we'll be able to do before I'm gone." Mason was right. They crossed a lot of events off his list before he passed away. "But I know for sure that there's one thing we won't be able to do: the road trip."
Taylor thought about the list. She had known when they made it that the road trip would be unlikely. Not that she wouldn't have loved to drive across the country with the love of her life. It was just difficult with his declining health and the fact that she still had to teach throughout that time.
"I want you to take that trip," Mason said. "If Dr. Trapp is right, I'll be gone around the time school lets out. That gives you plenty of time to make a long drive. Take Leslie with you. Have fun. Enjoy the life that you have in front of you. Don't make a plan. Just go.
"Actually, you don't even have to plan. I've done that part for you. The first thing you need to do is get into our safe deposit box. Hopefully you haven't needed to get in there before now. I assume you'll drop the death certificate in the box at some point, but I hope Rob is on the ball and gives the flash drive to you before you've gotten around to it. You're next step is in that box."
On the screen Mason stifled a yawn. "I better get back to bed before you start to miss me too much. Good night, sweetheart. I love you forever."
Taylor watched her husband blow her a digital kiss and reach to end the recording. She blinked a few times, then grabbed her cell phone. Finding Leslie's number, she hit send and waited for her best friend to pick up.
"We need to go to the bank."
Name: Taylor Steele
Location: Route 66
Object: Magic 8-Ball
Emotion: Nostalgia
Taylor awoke to the sight of sunlight streaming through the living room curtains. She could barely open her eyes. They hurt; dry and burning from the overproduction of tears as she drifted off to sleep the previous night.
She didn't feel like moving. She was curled into a ball under a quilt on the couch and she had a mind to remain that way all day. But the call of nature was too strong.
Taylor cast aside the blanket and slowly stood. Her body ached as she stretched out for the first time in hours. She silently reminded herself that most of her actions would be forced for a while. Even walking upstairs to use the bathroom.
That was her first step to making it through her day. Moving like a zombie, she took the stairs one by one. With each footfall, she felt that she won a small victory. After what felt like an hour, she made it to her bathroom. It was the one that connected to her bedroom, the room she couldn't bring herself to sleep in.
Once she had used the bathroom, she stood at the sink and stared at the wreck of a woman in the mirror. She couldn't help but laugh at herself a little. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her hair was all over the place. She bent down and splashed water into her face, hoping it would miraculously wash away the emotion that was still so evident. When she looked back in the mirror, she was disappointed to find it hadn't worked.
Taylor moved back into the hallway, pulling her hair back into a ponytail as she walked. She had no idea what she should do next, but figured breakfast was as good an idea as any. At the top of the stairs, she glanced over at the office. She had the nagging feeling that she was forgetting something, but she shrugged it off and descended the stairs.
When she reached the fridge, she stared blankly at the many plastic containers filled with leftovers provided by friends and family. With no thought of what makes for an appropriate breakfast, she reached for a pan of lasagna and cut out a piece from the corner.
She watched the lasagna rotate as the microwave heated it up. Even this small thing served to remind her of Mason. But this time, instead of bursting into tears, she smiled. Mason always hated the edge pieces. It didn't matter if it was lasagna or brownies. He didn't like how the sides and corners got crisp and crunchy. Taylor loved it.
The microwave beeped loudly. She pulled out the plate and devoured the hot lasagna as if she had not eaten in days. She was certain she had eaten at some point, but it had been a long few days.
Taylor set her plate and fork in the sink and slowly moved toward the living room. She resumed her comfortable position on the couch and began absentmindedly flipping through the channels. She was in a complete daze. She watched the television without actually seeing what was on. The sound of her phone ringing caused her to jump.
She reached for her cell and saw that it was Leslie. Taylor rolled her eyes, but was still touched when she thought about her friend checking up on her. "I thought I said I'd call you," she said as she answered the phone.
"I know," said Leslie, "but I worry."
"Well, you don't need to. I'm fine," Taylor said, "relatively speaking."
There was a moment of silence before Leslie spoke again. "Did you see what's on the flash drive yet?"
"Ugh!" shouted Taylor. "I knew I was forgetting something!" Keeping the phone to her ear, she made her way back up the stairs. "Wait, how did you know about it?" she asked as she climbed.
"Please! Rob can't keep a secret to save his life. Especially from me."
"Do you know what's on it?"
"Not really," said Leslie, "Rob could only guess. He thinks it's a video. Some kind of message from Mason left for you. That's why I really called. If it's a video of Mason, I'm worried about your reaction."
"Why? You think it's a bad message?" asked Taylor.
"Not at all. You just never know how seeing and hearing him might affect you."
Taylor almost told her of the effect that watching her wedding video had on her the night before. But she held back. She wasn't sure why she had a hard time letting her best friend know she was allowing herself to have real emotions. She did, however, know that she did not want to appear needy. She wanted to deal with the beginning of this new life on her own.
"Really, Les, I'll be fine," Taylor said as she powered up the laptop. "I'll call you later to let you know Mason's message from beyond the grave." She flinched as she said the words. She had been attempting humor, but regretted it immediately.
"Funny," Leslie said. Her words dripped with sarcasm.
"Seriously, though, don't worry so much. We'll talk later."
Leslie sighed on the other end of the line. "Okay. Talk to you soon."
Taylor hung up the phone and set it down on the desk, right next to where the flash drive lay. She reached for the drive and plugged it into the computer. While she waited for the folder to open automatically, she put her head in her hands.
She wasn't ready to cry again. But Leslie was right when she said there was no way of knowing how watching this thing would affect her. After all, seeing him in his tux and hearing him say, "I do," had caused her to lose control of her emotions until she lost consciousness.
Taylor looked back at the screen and took a deep breath before clicking on the only file on the drive. It was labeled For Taylor. It was password protected. Taylor smirked at the thought that Mason couldn't trust Rob not to snoop. She sat back and stared for a moment at the blinking cursor inside the little box on the screen. Her smirk grew into a smile as she typed the word Paradise, then clicked OK.
It wasn't an uncommon word for a password. Anyone could have figured it out if they had bothered to dig a little bit. But no one ever did. For Taylor and Mason, Paradise was a reminder of their first date. But it wasn't the first date that all their friends knew about. This was the first date that happened before their first date.
Taylor had been looking forward to a night alone at the theater. The Paradise was showing a marathon of 80s movies all weekend and tonight they were showing The Goonies. As a kid, it was one of her favorite movies. She was pretty sure that she had watched the old VHS copy so many times that it eventually wore the tape out. Taylor never got tired of hearing how Sloth loved Chunk. As fate would have it, alone was not the way she would be spending her night.
"I know you, don't I?" said the guy sitting in the row in front of her.
Taylor squinted, trying to make out his features in the very dim light before the movie started. "I don't think so. I'm pretty good with faces," she said.
"Yeah, I do. You're Leslie's friend," he said as he stood up.
Now she was a little scared. Did she have a stalker? Who was this guy and why was he now standing up to talk to her?
"Sorry," he said, as if he realized he was giving off a creepy vibe, "I'm Mason. Rob's roommate? Rob is Leslie's..."
"...Boyfriend," Taylor finished his sentence for him, "Yeah, I remember now. Leslie's mentioned you a couple times. Aren't we supposed to meet next weekend at some awkward get together that she's arranging?"
"Yeah, I think so," said Mason. He pointed to the empty seat beside her, "Do you mind?"
"By all means," she said. He is kind of cute, she thought. Why not get to know him a little before officially meeting him? He hopped over the back of his seat and into her row, spilling some of his popcorn in her lap in the process. "Seriously?" she said, a little annoyed. Great first impression, dude.
Before taking his seat he looked down at her. "I am so sorry, I really didn't think..." he cut himself off. Taylor just looked up at him, clearly irritated. She brushed the popcorn off her lap and onto the floor. "I'm really, really sorry. It's just that, when I get nervous I get kind of fidgety and tend to do stupid, spontaneous things without thinking."
"I guess it's all right," she said. "It could have been worse. You could have spilled your drink on me."
"I was saving that for after the movie," Mason said, flashing the smile that Taylor would soon fall completely in love with. She couldn't help but laugh, and it was as if the popcorn incident never happened.
They watched the movie together. There was no hand holding, no arm around her shoulder. They just sat together watching a movie they both loved, occasionally whispering some profound insight about a deleted scene they had read about somewhere or talking about where certain actors are now. After the credits finished rolling, they both stood.
"Thanks for not actually pouring your Coke on me," said Taylor as she put on her jacket.
"I was happy to not do it," said Mason as he stretched his legs. "Let me walk you to your car."
Taylor nodded and walked beside him as they left the theater. He held the door for her as she exited the building, giving him a couple bonus points in her eyes. They walked slowly down the sidewalk making their way to her car. It was as if neither of them wanted the walk to end. She looked over at him. "Aren't you cold?" she asked, watching her breath float away with each word that escaped her lips.
Mason just shook his head, "Nah, it's not so bad out here." She would later find out that he had been lying. He just didn't want her to know that he was freezing.
"How should we deal with Leslie's not so subtle set up next week?" asked Mason while Taylor fumbled for her keys.
"Well, I say we fake it," she said, unlocking her car door, "Pretend like we've never met. I think it could be fun to just keep tonight between us." They stared into each others eyes for a long moment, sharing an attraction for one another that was almost instantaneous.
"I like that," Mason said. She was nervous. It was a feeling she had not felt around a guy in a long time. Part of her wanted him to kiss her, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She could tell he was nervous too.
"So, I guess I'll see you next week," she said, then sank into her car.
"I can't wait," Mason said. He closed the door for her, then he stood at the curb until she drove out of sight.
Taylor shook herself from her memory as the image of her husband appeared on the computer screen. She took a deep breath and clicked play.
"Hey, beautiful," Mason said in a hushed voice. She recognized the room behind him as the same room in which she now sat. It was dark in the office, the only light came form the glow of the screen in front of Mason.
He must have snuck in here while I slept one night, she thought. Mason continued, "I knew you'd have no trouble figuring out the password. "And I knew Rob would have no clue. I'm sure he's tried at some point. I love that our first date is still a secret between us."
"Mason?" Taylor heard her own voice in the background.
"I'm in the office, hun!" he called back over his shoulder.
"Is everything okay?" It felt weird hearing herself in the distance.
Mason winked into the camera and said, "Yeah, I just can't sleep. Playing the Sims 'til I get sleepy again."
There was no response. "You must be asleep again. Sorry about that little fib. I could sleep just fine if I wanted to. But I want to get this done while I still look the way I want you to remember me."
"Okay," Mason started again, taking his own deep breath, "I don't know how much time I have. Tonight, I mean. I know we still have a few months together, and I hope they're wonderful. I just mean that you could wake up again and get nosy. I love your inquisitive nature, but I need you out of the loop for a while.
"First, I want you to know just how much I love you. I loved you the night we met, I just didn't have the nerve to admit it right away. Each moment that's passed since that night has only made me love you more. Cheesy enough? Good."
Taylor smiled but wiped a few fresh tears from her cheeks. "Hey, if I just made you cry, I'm sorry. But I do hope you're letting yourself cry. I know you're gonna try to be strong for me and our families over the next few months, because that's who you are. But you're allowed to be sad. I'm pretty awesome. That's a lot to deal with not having around anymore.
"You know the bucket list we made together? From my perspective it was just yesterday. There are plenty of things on there that we'll be able to do before I'm gone." Mason was right. They crossed a lot of events off his list before he passed away. "But I know for sure that there's one thing we won't be able to do: the road trip."
Taylor thought about the list. She had known when they made it that the road trip would be unlikely. Not that she wouldn't have loved to drive across the country with the love of her life. It was just difficult with his declining health and the fact that she still had to teach throughout that time.
"I want you to take that trip," Mason said. "If Dr. Trapp is right, I'll be gone around the time school lets out. That gives you plenty of time to make a long drive. Take Leslie with you. Have fun. Enjoy the life that you have in front of you. Don't make a plan. Just go.
"Actually, you don't even have to plan. I've done that part for you. The first thing you need to do is get into our safe deposit box. Hopefully you haven't needed to get in there before now. I assume you'll drop the death certificate in the box at some point, but I hope Rob is on the ball and gives the flash drive to you before you've gotten around to it. You're next step is in that box."
On the screen Mason stifled a yawn. "I better get back to bed before you start to miss me too much. Good night, sweetheart. I love you forever."
Taylor watched her husband blow her a digital kiss and reach to end the recording. She blinked a few times, then grabbed her cell phone. Finding Leslie's number, she hit send and waited for her best friend to pick up.
"We need to go to the bank."
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Fun with Fruits and Vegetables
Each day in the first grade class I observe, the teacher sets aside time for her students to get their "wiggles" out. This is a part of their morning routine, just before she begins teaching the various subjects that first graders focus on.
The "wiggle" time generally involves a YouTube video that inspires the kids to dance and move around. In my opinion, some are better than others. Some are downright annoying. The videos, not the kids. Okay, sometimes the kids, too. Anyway, the video below is definitely in the annoying category.
Before you watch, I sincerely apologize for sharing my suffering. But you really need to watch the video to understand my rant afterward.
Are you still with me? I know that was brutal. And I do apologize to Dr. Jean for the fact that I have such a low opinion of this particular video. I'm sure she's a lovely person with the purest of intentions.
I'm not even sure what it is about the video that gets under my skin so. Is it Dr. Jean's singing voice? Is it her dancing? Is it that it sounds like they're playing the song on the tiny Casio keyboard we had when I was a kid? Is it that I'm not a big fan of vegetables in general?
Maybe it's because the song gets stuck in my head every time I stroll through the produce section at the store. And I mean every time. I see an ear of corn, I'm humming this song. I eat a banana, I'm humming this song. I see guacamole on the menu at the Mexican place, I'm humming this song.
Having watched this video so many times, I've gotten kind of nit-picky about it. For one thing, she's lip-synching the thing. At 0:40 when she sings about shucking the corn, her mouth clearly says peel at the first shuck. Come on, Dr. Jean! If Beyoncé can shake her booty all over the 50 yard line at the Superdome and sing "Crazy in Love" at the same time, you can certainly raise and lower your arms while singing about shucking corn. Rookie move, Doc.
And then there's the mango verse. At 1:18 she instructs the children to do the tango. I'm sorry, but if you're a "real" doctor, then you should know that it takes two to tango. I think it's wrong to teach our future generations that it's okay to tango alone. And by watching Dr. Jean tango by herself, they're learning just that. Also, she totally just said doo doo.
I also have a problem with "forming" the rounded fruits and vegetables. She puts her arms straight up in the air. That works great with the banana or the carrot. But an orange? I don't think so. What kind of crazy oranges are you eating, lady?
Finally, what are we supposed to do to the bunny in the carrot verse? There's no real word there... "____ the bunny...?" Dr. Jean, are you censoring yourself? If so, that's not cool. I don't like where dirty minds could take that unnecessary censorship. Kimmel would have a field day with you, ma'am.
I complain about the video because I'm a cynical grown-up who can't find joy and magic in doing a dance inspired by fruits and veggies. But apparently this Dr. Jean is kind of a big deal. If you'd like to learn more about her and her career, feel free to surf on over to her website at DrJean.org.
The "wiggle" time generally involves a YouTube video that inspires the kids to dance and move around. In my opinion, some are better than others. Some are downright annoying. The videos, not the kids. Okay, sometimes the kids, too. Anyway, the video below is definitely in the annoying category.
Before you watch, I sincerely apologize for sharing my suffering. But you really need to watch the video to understand my rant afterward.
Are you still with me? I know that was brutal. And I do apologize to Dr. Jean for the fact that I have such a low opinion of this particular video. I'm sure she's a lovely person with the purest of intentions.
I'm not even sure what it is about the video that gets under my skin so. Is it Dr. Jean's singing voice? Is it her dancing? Is it that it sounds like they're playing the song on the tiny Casio keyboard we had when I was a kid? Is it that I'm not a big fan of vegetables in general?
Maybe it's because the song gets stuck in my head every time I stroll through the produce section at the store. And I mean every time. I see an ear of corn, I'm humming this song. I eat a banana, I'm humming this song. I see guacamole on the menu at the Mexican place, I'm humming this song.
Having watched this video so many times, I've gotten kind of nit-picky about it. For one thing, she's lip-synching the thing. At 0:40 when she sings about shucking the corn, her mouth clearly says peel at the first shuck. Come on, Dr. Jean! If Beyoncé can shake her booty all over the 50 yard line at the Superdome and sing "Crazy in Love" at the same time, you can certainly raise and lower your arms while singing about shucking corn. Rookie move, Doc.
And then there's the mango verse. At 1:18 she instructs the children to do the tango. I'm sorry, but if you're a "real" doctor, then you should know that it takes two to tango. I think it's wrong to teach our future generations that it's okay to tango alone. And by watching Dr. Jean tango by herself, they're learning just that. Also, she totally just said doo doo.
I also have a problem with "forming" the rounded fruits and vegetables. She puts her arms straight up in the air. That works great with the banana or the carrot. But an orange? I don't think so. What kind of crazy oranges are you eating, lady?
Finally, what are we supposed to do to the bunny in the carrot verse? There's no real word there... "____ the bunny...?" Dr. Jean, are you censoring yourself? If so, that's not cool. I don't like where dirty minds could take that unnecessary censorship. Kimmel would have a field day with you, ma'am.
I complain about the video because I'm a cynical grown-up who can't find joy and magic in doing a dance inspired by fruits and veggies. But apparently this Dr. Jean is kind of a big deal. If you'd like to learn more about her and her career, feel free to surf on over to her website at DrJean.org.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
The Single Guy and the Release
Warning: This blog post discusses some borderline potty talk. Reader discretion is advised.
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Part of getting involved with a church is finding a group of people that he can get involved with. This means he had to sign up for and join a small group Bible study. Over the years, the Single Guy has come to enjoy these small groups much more than he ever liked attending a Sunday School class before Big Church every week. Small groups meet in people's homes. They're warmer, more inviting, cozier.
Thursday of last week, the Single Guy found himself in one of those warm, inviting and cozy homes. He's decided to participate in a group that will be reading through the entire Bible in a year. Of course, this is something he has attempted in the past. For some reason, he's never been able to get much farther than Exodus. This means he's probably read through Genesis about a dozen times. This time, he hopes it's different. By joining up with a group that's doing the same thing, his hope is that they'll all encourage each other to keep up the pace.
The first group meeting consisted of passing along information from the leaders to the group members. The Single Guy sat quietly, as he usually does in situations involving new people. Suddenly it hit him. He had to get to the bathroom.
But this was a new place. He'd never been here before, much less used the bathroom. And this wasn't exactly a good time for him to raise his hand and ask for directions to the bathroom. The group leader was talking. She was sure to be sharing some important information about how things would be run in the group over the course of the next few months. There was probably something mentioned about not interrupting, but the Single Guy couldn't possibly know that. He was absolutely not paying attention.
Instead, he was focused on keeping himself together. Folks, it wasn't that the Single Guy had to do anything as simple as get to the restroom to pee. No, he could hold that for a while if necessary. And it was necessary. The problem at the moment was one of a more intestinal matter. Without trying to sound completely indelicate, he really needed to fart.
By this point in the evening, the Single Guy was using every ounce of his strength to clench. Here he was in a room full of people he had just met and he was praying for the strength not to break wind, which he knew would alienate them immediately. He was afraid to move, even slightly. His face had to have been turning blood red as he held back a perfectly natural bodily function.
He was in pain. Aside from that, he was torn. Three options lay before him.
One, he could interrupt the leader and ask for the bathroom. In his mind, this was a non-option. The Single Guy would stand up and say, "I'm sorry, but where's your bathroom?" The leader, of course, would then politely point the way or explain how to get there. In a one-bedroom duplex, it couldn't have been far away. But then comes the thought that everyone out in the living room obviously knows what he's doing in there. The Single Guy shook that idea out of his head.
Two, he could keep trying with all his might to hold the gas in. Again, he was in a great deal of pain. Most people have probably experienced this pain. Gas that gets pent up inside our bodies tends to be painful, especially when it cannot be released. But he wasn't really thinking about the pain. If he could manage to get past the pain and fight back the urge to let go, things might shift around on the inside. And then his gut would make a horrendous noise. It would be that loud noise that everyone would hear, and they would know, he's gotta fart. The quiet laughter would begin. The snickers under people's breath would grow louder and the Single Guy would be forced to leave the home, running off into the night. He could play the noise off as a stomach growl, as if he was hungry. But there's a difference in the noise of hunger and the sound of shifting gas. Anyone in that room with half a brain would know he was lying. "He can't be hungry," they would say, "I saw him eat no less than three cookies just minutes ago!"
Three, he could just let it go. As much as he hated the first two options, this third one was even less appealing. He was sitting on a hard folding chair. This meant that, at best, any fart would be a loud fart. But even if the Single Guy could disguise the noise, what would he be able to do about the smell? Everyone would know the general area from which the odor had come. They would look upon the Single Guy with disgust. He would be excommunicated from the group. It would be just another church with whom his bridges had been burned.
The pain was growing more intense by the second. And it seemed the information being given to the group members would never end. At that moment, the Single Guy did the only thing he knew he could safely do. He prayed silently. And when the urge became too great, he dared to risk the release of gas. There was no sound. There was no noticeable odor. He received no looks from the people next to him. No one had noticed. In his mind, the Single Guy rejoiced. He had just been a part of a spectacular miracle.
The rest of the evening went on without a hitch. The Single Guy felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The pain was gone. He could move around again without fear of something improper slipping out.
He learned a valuable lesson that night. Never eat or drink anything for two hours before meeting new people. The food may be delicious, but is it really worth the risk?
Monday, February 04, 2013
Question of the Week: Tracking Time
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Anything that I'm enjoying will easily make me lose track of time. I could be lost in a good book. I could be deep in conversation with a friend. I could even be playing Farmville or something equally mindless and time consuming. The only times that I'm really not in danger of losing track of time is if I'm doing something I don't want to do and I keep checking the time every three minutes.
Disclaimer: I don't actually play Farmville. I'm more of a SimCity kind of guy.
Sunday, February 03, 2013
Immunity
Charlie stared up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly, praying that no one noticed the fact that he completely tripped over his own two feet. Oz, his roommate and best friend for years entered his field of vision. He looked down at his friend, laughing and shaking his head while reaching out with a hand to help him stand back up.
"So, what'd she do this time? Smile at you? Laugh at your joke?" Oz asked as Charlie regained his footing.
"She said hi," Charlie said, brushing off the back of his pants. "Normally, the hi would have been okay. But we made eye contact was too much."
"Dude, she's just a girl."
"No, she's not just a girl," said Charlie, but he knew Oz was right. Alyson was just a girl. Just an incredibly beautiful, incredibly talented, incredibly intelligent girl who had barely spoken three words to Charlie in the four months since they met. "I think something's wrong with me."
"There's a lot wrong with you," Oz said, receiving a look that could kill, "but we don't have time to go into all that right now. We are late for class."
Charlie bent down to pick up the books he had dropped. "Seriously, why do I have so much trouble acting like a human being whenever Alyson's around?"
"That's the million dollar question, my friend."
"I mean, we're in the same program. That should give us plenty to talk about," Charlie said, his voice becoming whiny.
"I'm gonna cut you off," Oz said. "You don't date. You never really have. And there's nothing wrong with that. But your lack of experience means you haven't built up an immunity to the opposite sex. So now, whenever you're around a girl you find particularly attractive, it's like Clark Kent with kryptonite. You fall apart."
"How do I build an immunity then?" Charlie asked.
Oz sighed, "I don't know. I'm making this up as I go along... OW!" Charlie smacked him in the back of the head. "It sounded good, though. Maybe I can spin this into a decent research project."
"I will not be the subject of a research project."
"Not you, specifically," Oz said, "but there have to be people like you out there. Guys who just don't know how to talk to women. I could gather the data, determine what you guys are all doing wrong, and figure out a way to help you get a date."
"I know how to get a date," Charlie said, acting somewhat offended at the insinuation that he was incapable of asking a girl out. "I just freeze up whenever presented with the opportunity, that's all."
"Well, here's your chance Casanova. Alyson McGee, 3 o'clock." Oz hastily walked away from where Charlie was standing.
Charlie turned to face Alyson as she approached him. "I think you have my Family Dynamics text," she said with a smile.
He looked at the books in his hands. Sure enough, he had two copies of the Family Dynamics textbook. He handed Alyson her copy and attempted to say something clever, but was only successful at making some sort of incoherent noise that couldn't possibly be mistaken for a known language.
Alyson laughed a little and said, "Thanks, Charlie."
As she turned to walk away, Oz walked up behind his friend. He clapped him on the back. "How 'bout that! She knows your name! And, hey, you almost said a real word to her. I'd say that immunity thing is coming right along."
"So, what'd she do this time? Smile at you? Laugh at your joke?" Oz asked as Charlie regained his footing.
"She said hi," Charlie said, brushing off the back of his pants. "Normally, the hi would have been okay. But we made eye contact was too much."
"Dude, she's just a girl."
"No, she's not just a girl," said Charlie, but he knew Oz was right. Alyson was just a girl. Just an incredibly beautiful, incredibly talented, incredibly intelligent girl who had barely spoken three words to Charlie in the four months since they met. "I think something's wrong with me."
"There's a lot wrong with you," Oz said, receiving a look that could kill, "but we don't have time to go into all that right now. We are late for class."
Charlie bent down to pick up the books he had dropped. "Seriously, why do I have so much trouble acting like a human being whenever Alyson's around?"
"That's the million dollar question, my friend."
"I mean, we're in the same program. That should give us plenty to talk about," Charlie said, his voice becoming whiny.
"I'm gonna cut you off," Oz said. "You don't date. You never really have. And there's nothing wrong with that. But your lack of experience means you haven't built up an immunity to the opposite sex. So now, whenever you're around a girl you find particularly attractive, it's like Clark Kent with kryptonite. You fall apart."
"How do I build an immunity then?" Charlie asked.
Oz sighed, "I don't know. I'm making this up as I go along... OW!" Charlie smacked him in the back of the head. "It sounded good, though. Maybe I can spin this into a decent research project."
"I will not be the subject of a research project."
"Not you, specifically," Oz said, "but there have to be people like you out there. Guys who just don't know how to talk to women. I could gather the data, determine what you guys are all doing wrong, and figure out a way to help you get a date."
"I know how to get a date," Charlie said, acting somewhat offended at the insinuation that he was incapable of asking a girl out. "I just freeze up whenever presented with the opportunity, that's all."
"Well, here's your chance Casanova. Alyson McGee, 3 o'clock." Oz hastily walked away from where Charlie was standing.
Charlie turned to face Alyson as she approached him. "I think you have my Family Dynamics text," she said with a smile.
He looked at the books in his hands. Sure enough, he had two copies of the Family Dynamics textbook. He handed Alyson her copy and attempted to say something clever, but was only successful at making some sort of incoherent noise that couldn't possibly be mistaken for a known language.
Alyson laughed a little and said, "Thanks, Charlie."
As she turned to walk away, Oz walked up behind his friend. He clapped him on the back. "How 'bout that! She knows your name! And, hey, you almost said a real word to her. I'd say that immunity thing is coming right along."
Saturday, February 02, 2013
The Super Bowl of Advertising!
Tomorrow night is the Super Bowl. And as we all know, that's when advertisers bring out the big guns. They get their most creative minds to come up with some really epic commercials because this is the most widely viewed television event of the year. Personally, I don't care much about the teams. I don't really follow professional sports. I don't really follow any sports, but if I had to pick, I'd go with college teams every time. But since this isn't about college teams, I'll just sit back and watch as the 49ers and Ravens pummel each other. And hopefully I'll be able to eat some pizza at some point.
In the meantime, I leave you with what is possibly my favorite Super Bowl ad of the last few years. I've posted it before and I can't promise I won't post it again. It just makes me laugh. Especially when that fist comes in and whacks that little koala bear. I don't know why it's funny. But it is. Watch it, and you have my permission to laugh.
In the meantime, I leave you with what is possibly my favorite Super Bowl ad of the last few years. I've posted it before and I can't promise I won't post it again. It just makes me laugh. Especially when that fist comes in and whacks that little koala bear. I don't know why it's funny. But it is. Watch it, and you have my permission to laugh.
Friday, February 01, 2013
Starting Over
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Now it's a little different. I'm not sure that my self-discipline is much different than it was in the past, but I definitely want it more. Except that I messed up. I got sick for a while. It's easy to pick up a cold during this time of the year when you work at a school where viral infections spread like wildfire. So I stopped running, only two months after I had begun.
The other day I got a text from Mark asking if I'd like to run in the Ukrop's Monument Avenue 10k in Richmond. In the span of about 10 seconds, my mind went into a panic. 10 kilometers? Okay, I had set a goal for myself to work up to a 5k. Twice that much seemed pushing it.
"When is it?" I texted back. He let me know that it happens in April. April 13 to be exact. That gives me just over two months to get ready for it. Would that be enough time? "Let's do it!" What did I just do? Why did I send that message back to him? Why did I add an exclamation point as if I'm incredibly confident that I can go from next to nothing to being able to go 10 kilometers?
If I had not decided to take a break from running to get over my chest and sinus congestion, I would have finished the Couch to 5k training program that I began back in September. By this point (I hope), I would have been comfortable running 5 kilometers without stopping, maybe without slowing. But when you take two months off, you kind of set yourself way back.
My legs are back to that feeling they had when I started running five months ago. My lungs seem to be doing okay, though. Right now I'm thinking that breathing while running is kind of important, so as long as I can do that, I'll push through the pain in my legs.
I'm working with a different training program now. It's still a Couch to 5k deal, but it's an app on my phone, not a piece of paper that I have to keep up with myself. This time around, I have a voice in my ear that tells me when to run and when to walk. It's a nine week program, which means I'll be ready for a 5k just in time to run the 10k. I have a feeling I'm gonna be hurting on April 13. But I'm gonna commit. I won't back down and I won't quit until I cross the finish line.
If you have any words of encouragement, I am all ears.
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Thursday, January 31, 2013
And the Rain Came Down
You ever have one of those days where you sit back and look at the power of the world around you and realize just how small and insignificant you really are? I kind of felt that way as I drove home last night.
I knew the weather people were predicting rain for yesterday. In fact, I knew that rain was coming. That last part, the part about my own knowledge, came from the fact that I looked outside before driving to work yesterday morning and saw that it was raining. It wasn't much, but water was falling from the sky.
My plan for the day was to go to work, as I normally would, then drive into Roanoke for the afternoon and/or evening. I had things that needed to be done. The trip yesterday really revolved around the fact that I needed to get the oil changed in my car. I'm sorry to say that I was about 4500 miles overdue. If you know anything about cars, you're probably facepalming right now and shaking your head in disgust in my general direction. I know, I've been doing the same thing to myself since about 4000 miles ago.
But oil changes are funny things. In order to have them done, you have to be willing to pay for them. Beyond that, you have to be able to pay for them. Unless you know how to do it yourself, and even then you have to buy the oil and the drip pan and some other car related doohickeys of which I have little to no knowledge. Finally having a little bit of extra disposable income afforded me the ability to take care of my car. A little. Of course I wouldn't be able to fix the other problems that the maintenance guys would inevitably find. But this isn't even supposed to be a post about my oil change or the other random problems with my car. This is about the weather.
I know, interesting people are not supposed to talk about the weather. The weather is a topic that exists for boring people and the elderly. They are also known to discuss random health problems. But I've never claimed to be interesting. I mean, I am... but that's beside the point. I'm trying to make the point that I was kind of in awe of nature last night. Would you let me finish!?
So I'm sitting at the dealership waiting for my car. And it had been raining. It still hadn't been much, but it was a light, steady rain that lasted most of the day. And then the heavens opened up and dumped both cats and dogs upon southwest Virginia. I would later find out that the system tossing out those cats and dogs did some serious damage all up and down the eastern seaboard. It's not often that you hear about tornadic activity in late January.
I didn't particularly feel like driving back to Radford in the deluge. Not without having prepared by building a large ark out of gopher wood, anyway. And that extra disposable income that I had leftover after the oil change afforded me the chance to do something else that was long overdue. I went and got my hair cut.
But the haircutting did not take as long as I had hoped. Well, I wasn't hoping for a haircut that would take up the rest of my night. I was just hoping it would outlast the passing storm. But this was a big friggin' storm. Between the beginning of my haircut and the ending of the shampooing that occurred, the rain did not let up. Not even a little bit.
So I made the long drive back to Radford. Typically, the drive between Roanoke and Radford really isn't that long. But in a torrential downpour, it becomes kind of long. I've driven in storms before. And I've driven like I did last night before. You know how when you drive into a storm while the storm is traveling in the opposite direction and you kind of expect to come out of it at some point? Yeah, that never happened. That rain kept falling just as heavily with each passing mile.
I heard the warnings, that flooding would be a real issue. Duh. Any idiot would know that, simply by using one of their five senses to experience the sheer volume of rain that we received. When I woke up this morning, I got a chance to see some of the flooding first hand.
I realize that flooding is a lot worse in a lot of other areas. I do consider myself very lucky to have avoided the river's fury. But I was a little concerned about the common sense of some of my neighbors.
Most of these neighbors are college students. Okay, there's a good chance that all of my neighbors are college students. They don't have a lot of the real life experience that one may gain after being out of college for 10 years. So when the university sent everyone a message warning them to move their cars out of our apartment complex's parking lots, the panic set in. I've never seen so many cars move out of here at one time. There was an actual traffic jam on our very small, rarely traveled road.
I think when the university sent out those messages, they painted a picture of a tsunami in a lot of kids' heads. Yes, there was some concern over a dam in Wythe County breaking. As far as I know, that did not happen. Though I'm not entirely sure, I haven't seen any news about it since this afternoon. But even if that had happened, I don't think the water from said dam burst would come down the New River Valley and wipe Radford off the map.
I left my car right where it had been all day. And you know what? It's still there. I'm comfortable with my decision.
I knew the weather people were predicting rain for yesterday. In fact, I knew that rain was coming. That last part, the part about my own knowledge, came from the fact that I looked outside before driving to work yesterday morning and saw that it was raining. It wasn't much, but water was falling from the sky.
My plan for the day was to go to work, as I normally would, then drive into Roanoke for the afternoon and/or evening. I had things that needed to be done. The trip yesterday really revolved around the fact that I needed to get the oil changed in my car. I'm sorry to say that I was about 4500 miles overdue. If you know anything about cars, you're probably facepalming right now and shaking your head in disgust in my general direction. I know, I've been doing the same thing to myself since about 4000 miles ago.
But oil changes are funny things. In order to have them done, you have to be willing to pay for them. Beyond that, you have to be able to pay for them. Unless you know how to do it yourself, and even then you have to buy the oil and the drip pan and some other car related doohickeys of which I have little to no knowledge. Finally having a little bit of extra disposable income afforded me the ability to take care of my car. A little. Of course I wouldn't be able to fix the other problems that the maintenance guys would inevitably find. But this isn't even supposed to be a post about my oil change or the other random problems with my car. This is about the weather.
I know, interesting people are not supposed to talk about the weather. The weather is a topic that exists for boring people and the elderly. They are also known to discuss random health problems. But I've never claimed to be interesting. I mean, I am... but that's beside the point. I'm trying to make the point that I was kind of in awe of nature last night. Would you let me finish!?
So I'm sitting at the dealership waiting for my car. And it had been raining. It still hadn't been much, but it was a light, steady rain that lasted most of the day. And then the heavens opened up and dumped both cats and dogs upon southwest Virginia. I would later find out that the system tossing out those cats and dogs did some serious damage all up and down the eastern seaboard. It's not often that you hear about tornadic activity in late January.
I didn't particularly feel like driving back to Radford in the deluge. Not without having prepared by building a large ark out of gopher wood, anyway. And that extra disposable income that I had leftover after the oil change afforded me the chance to do something else that was long overdue. I went and got my hair cut.
But the haircutting did not take as long as I had hoped. Well, I wasn't hoping for a haircut that would take up the rest of my night. I was just hoping it would outlast the passing storm. But this was a big friggin' storm. Between the beginning of my haircut and the ending of the shampooing that occurred, the rain did not let up. Not even a little bit.
So I made the long drive back to Radford. Typically, the drive between Roanoke and Radford really isn't that long. But in a torrential downpour, it becomes kind of long. I've driven in storms before. And I've driven like I did last night before. You know how when you drive into a storm while the storm is traveling in the opposite direction and you kind of expect to come out of it at some point? Yeah, that never happened. That rain kept falling just as heavily with each passing mile.
I heard the warnings, that flooding would be a real issue. Duh. Any idiot would know that, simply by using one of their five senses to experience the sheer volume of rain that we received. When I woke up this morning, I got a chance to see some of the flooding first hand.
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| This little scene is about 20 or 25 yards from where my car was parked all night. |
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| There's supposed to be a greenway under that water. It might be there again in a few days. I hope it is, I'm supposed to be training for a 10k. |
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| Just to help with the perspective a little, the edge of the flood water is in the foreground. The building where I live is in the background. |
I realize that flooding is a lot worse in a lot of other areas. I do consider myself very lucky to have avoided the river's fury. But I was a little concerned about the common sense of some of my neighbors.
Most of these neighbors are college students. Okay, there's a good chance that all of my neighbors are college students. They don't have a lot of the real life experience that one may gain after being out of college for 10 years. So when the university sent everyone a message warning them to move their cars out of our apartment complex's parking lots, the panic set in. I've never seen so many cars move out of here at one time. There was an actual traffic jam on our very small, rarely traveled road.
I think when the university sent out those messages, they painted a picture of a tsunami in a lot of kids' heads. Yes, there was some concern over a dam in Wythe County breaking. As far as I know, that did not happen. Though I'm not entirely sure, I haven't seen any news about it since this afternoon. But even if that had happened, I don't think the water from said dam burst would come down the New River Valley and wipe Radford off the map.
I left my car right where it had been all day. And you know what? It's still there. I'm comfortable with my decision.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Big Head! Big Head! Big Head!
No, I'm not talking about my ego.
I have a fairly large cranium. I know there are people out there with bigger heads. I've seen people out there with bigger heads. But in the scheme of things, I can't imagine there are many. I should probably go to a doctor and have them measure the size of my head and figure out what percentile I fall into. I've got to be in the 80s, at least.
I look in the mirror and I see a large head staring back at me. And it's not an overweight thing. I've lost some weight in recent months. I've been told that people notice the weight loss in my face. Notice they say "face" and not "head." That's because my gargantuan skull remains the same size.
But I treated myself to a haircut today. It's not something I often do. Every other month or so. I should probably do it more often. Because my hair gets thick. It doesn't get long (after a certain point), it just gets thicker. Like it's building from underneath. And I think that only serves to make my head look larger. Trust me, it's not all an illusion of massive hair that makes it seem big. But getting rid of all that hair can make it seem smaller.
I got home tonight and took a look in the mirror. The haircut really worked wonders. It's like I got a head transplant. Almost like my head is a normal size. Maybe I'll finally be able to pull off that fedora I've always wanted to wear.
I have a fairly large cranium. I know there are people out there with bigger heads. I've seen people out there with bigger heads. But in the scheme of things, I can't imagine there are many. I should probably go to a doctor and have them measure the size of my head and figure out what percentile I fall into. I've got to be in the 80s, at least.
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But I treated myself to a haircut today. It's not something I often do. Every other month or so. I should probably do it more often. Because my hair gets thick. It doesn't get long (after a certain point), it just gets thicker. Like it's building from underneath. And I think that only serves to make my head look larger. Trust me, it's not all an illusion of massive hair that makes it seem big. But getting rid of all that hair can make it seem smaller.
I got home tonight and took a look in the mirror. The haircut really worked wonders. It's like I got a head transplant. Almost like my head is a normal size. Maybe I'll finally be able to pull off that fedora I've always wanted to wear.
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