Most people wouldn't know it, but I have horrible temper. I never show my anger around others, only when I'm alone. But if someone were to install a hidden camera in my car, you would discover that when I get cut off in traffic, I become the worst version of myself.
Today while I was out for lunch, I got stopped at a red light. I was sitting in the right lane, waiting for green. Finally it turned. And so did a woman coming from the road beside me. My light was green, this means that, obviously, her light was red.
Now, I have no problem making a right turn on red if there is no oncoming traffic. But she made eye contact with me, while my car was already in motion, and still she pulled in front of me. Didn't even pretend she would stop for her stop light.
And here's the kicker: as she drove in front of me, she maintained a constant speed of ten miles under the speed limit. Also, so gave a signal like she would get over in the left lane. That didn't happen.
North Carolina. That's all I'm sayin'.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
552 Days
The other night I was at the Greenehouse. I'm not sure how we got to this subject or how the conversation veered here, but at one point, Nicole made the wild claim that I would be married in a year and a half.
She even picked the date: October 3, 2009. 552 days from today. I'm slightly skeptical in most things; very skeptical when it comes to matters of the heart. She did, however, in her moment of clairvoyance, fail to tell me who this foolish woman would be.
So, single gals out there in cyberspace, the position is open. So keep October 3 next year open on your calendars. Apparently I'll be standing up at the front of a church wearing a tuxedo. I will say this: I clean up pretty good.
How 'bout it? Any takers? I'm thinking of holding a competition. I've got plenty of time to come up with something. I'm thinking Survivor meets The Amazing Race.
She even picked the date: October 3, 2009. 552 days from today. I'm slightly skeptical in most things; very skeptical when it comes to matters of the heart. She did, however, in her moment of clairvoyance, fail to tell me who this foolish woman would be.
So, single gals out there in cyberspace, the position is open. So keep October 3 next year open on your calendars. Apparently I'll be standing up at the front of a church wearing a tuxedo. I will say this: I clean up pretty good.
How 'bout it? Any takers? I'm thinking of holding a competition. I've got plenty of time to come up with something. I'm thinking Survivor meets The Amazing Race.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tree in the Wind
The other day as I was taking my trash out, I felt the wind blowing. A common occurrance, one that people probably experience nearly every day. I looked up and saw the trees swaying as the wind blew. I couldn't help but laugh.
My whole life, Dad's explanation for where wind came from was unique. To him, wind wasn't caused by rising and falling air temperatures and pressure systems. Wind was caused by trees breathing.
In his own wacky way, it made sense. When you notice the wind blowing, it's moving the trees. That particular illusion came to a halt when I hit 9th grade and took earth science and began to grasp a bit of how weather works.
But my whole life, when I see the wind's effect on trees, I'll think of Dad and laugh.
My whole life, Dad's explanation for where wind came from was unique. To him, wind wasn't caused by rising and falling air temperatures and pressure systems. Wind was caused by trees breathing.
In his own wacky way, it made sense. When you notice the wind blowing, it's moving the trees. That particular illusion came to a halt when I hit 9th grade and took earth science and began to grasp a bit of how weather works.
But my whole life, when I see the wind's effect on trees, I'll think of Dad and laugh.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Question of the Week: I'll Be There For You
This week's question came from Chrissy while I was in Charlotte last week visiting her and Andy. Most of us have probably seen Friends and one point or another. If you haven't, you'll be at a severe disadvantage if you try to answer this question (not that anyone ever answers these questions). Also, if you haven't, all 10 seasons are on DVD, so you have no excuse. Go, watch, laugh.
What is your favorite episode of Friends and why?
My favorite episode is "The One with the Embryos." It's the one where Phoebe gets her brother and sister-in-law's embryos implanted into her uterus so she can be the surrogate for them. But that's not the part that I like. The part that makes this my favorite episode is where Joey and Chandler compete against Monica and Rachel in a "Who Knows Who Better" game that Ross creates for them. At first it's just for money. Then it's for Monica and Rachel's apartment. The guys get to move in for about half the season. What is Chandler Bing's job? "He's a transponster!!!" "That's not even a word!!!" Cracks me up every time.
Really, there are so many good episodes of this show, to pick just one is difficult. Any time I catch a rerun or watch the DVDs, I laugh at it like it's the first time I'm watching it. By the way, I took one of those "personality tests" on Facebook that lets you know what Friends character you would be. Apparently I'm Chandler. Who knew?
What is your favorite episode of Friends and why?
My favorite episode is "The One with the Embryos." It's the one where Phoebe gets her brother and sister-in-law's embryos implanted into her uterus so she can be the surrogate for them. But that's not the part that I like. The part that makes this my favorite episode is where Joey and Chandler compete against Monica and Rachel in a "Who Knows Who Better" game that Ross creates for them. At first it's just for money. Then it's for Monica and Rachel's apartment. The guys get to move in for about half the season. What is Chandler Bing's job? "He's a transponster!!!" "That's not even a word!!!" Cracks me up every time.
Really, there are so many good episodes of this show, to pick just one is difficult. Any time I catch a rerun or watch the DVDs, I laugh at it like it's the first time I'm watching it. By the way, I took one of those "personality tests" on Facebook that lets you know what Friends character you would be. Apparently I'm Chandler. Who knew?
Late Again
It's after midnight. I'm done apologizing for the nights that I post late. It's gonna happen from time to time. I'm a busy man. Okay, I'm only kind of busy occasionally. Tonight was one of those nights.
Each Thursday I participate in a home group Bible study at the Greenehouse. When I pulled into the driveway this evening, their youngest son met me at the car and asked why I was wearing my "beach clothes." I didn't consider shorts and a short sleeved shirt "beach clothes," but I'll go with it. It was very warm today. Kind of like spring. Hence the shorts and short sleeved shirt. And the sandals.
Not long after I arrived, I was asked to go pick up some chocolate icing from the store. No problem doing this favor, seeing as how they let me do laundry at their house tonight. I was in the store for maybe five minutes. When I came out, there was a shopping cart right in front of my car. You know where the cart return was? About 10 feet from my car. I mean, that's just inconsiderate.
Each Thursday I participate in a home group Bible study at the Greenehouse. When I pulled into the driveway this evening, their youngest son met me at the car and asked why I was wearing my "beach clothes." I didn't consider shorts and a short sleeved shirt "beach clothes," but I'll go with it. It was very warm today. Kind of like spring. Hence the shorts and short sleeved shirt. And the sandals.
Not long after I arrived, I was asked to go pick up some chocolate icing from the store. No problem doing this favor, seeing as how they let me do laundry at their house tonight. I was in the store for maybe five minutes. When I came out, there was a shopping cart right in front of my car. You know where the cart return was? About 10 feet from my car. I mean, that's just inconsiderate.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode XII
This afternoon when I got to work I checked my e-mail, as I always do. What I found was a bit odd. Well, it was odd to me.
My manager had sent an e-mail to everyone in the branch requesting a Quarterly Plan of Action. I wasn't sure what this meant, so I asked one of my fellow tellers. Apparently it's a written explanation of how I intend to meet my goals in the next quarter. But not only that, I also need to explain how I plan to make up the deficit from this quarter.
In other words, next quarter, I not only need to meet the normal goals, I also need to work nearly twice as hard to get whatever I haven't gotten this quarter. Seriously? If I didn't meet the normal goal this quarter, what makes anyone think I'll exceed it next quarter?
My co-worker that explained this written statement to me said that I was expected to be detailed. How will I meet and/or exceed my goals next quarter? Here's what I'm tempted to say:
In order to meet the ridiculous goals that are set before each of us, I plan to be implanted with bionic parts. Physically, this will help me to move faster and therefore complete transactions much quicker. Intellectually, the computer chip in my brain will allow me to analyze each and every customer so I can know their needs judging from not only their account information, but from the way they dress, speak, and carry themselves. My computer brain will then allow me to know what to say and when to say it in regards to cross selling new bank products, whether the customer needs them or not.
That detailed enough for you?
I'll be honest, while I'm in school, dealing with the stress of papers, exams, and quizzes, I wanted to have a job that would involve next to no stress. When I interviewed as a teller, I was hoping to find a job where I would be able to work with people on a regular basis. I was hoping to find a job that would allow me to leave the job when I went home. I didn't want to have to sit down and come up with a strategic plan on how to sell things at the bank when I'm not a salesman. I'd like to be able to work with the customers, get their business done, then go home at the end of the day. Too much to ask? Yeah, I thought so.
My manager had sent an e-mail to everyone in the branch requesting a Quarterly Plan of Action. I wasn't sure what this meant, so I asked one of my fellow tellers. Apparently it's a written explanation of how I intend to meet my goals in the next quarter. But not only that, I also need to explain how I plan to make up the deficit from this quarter.
In other words, next quarter, I not only need to meet the normal goals, I also need to work nearly twice as hard to get whatever I haven't gotten this quarter. Seriously? If I didn't meet the normal goal this quarter, what makes anyone think I'll exceed it next quarter?
My co-worker that explained this written statement to me said that I was expected to be detailed. How will I meet and/or exceed my goals next quarter? Here's what I'm tempted to say:
In order to meet the ridiculous goals that are set before each of us, I plan to be implanted with bionic parts. Physically, this will help me to move faster and therefore complete transactions much quicker. Intellectually, the computer chip in my brain will allow me to analyze each and every customer so I can know their needs judging from not only their account information, but from the way they dress, speak, and carry themselves. My computer brain will then allow me to know what to say and when to say it in regards to cross selling new bank products, whether the customer needs them or not.
That detailed enough for you?
I'll be honest, while I'm in school, dealing with the stress of papers, exams, and quizzes, I wanted to have a job that would involve next to no stress. When I interviewed as a teller, I was hoping to find a job where I would be able to work with people on a regular basis. I was hoping to find a job that would allow me to leave the job when I went home. I didn't want to have to sit down and come up with a strategic plan on how to sell things at the bank when I'm not a salesman. I'd like to be able to work with the customers, get their business done, then go home at the end of the day. Too much to ask? Yeah, I thought so.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
American Idol: Ten
I love the Beatles, I do. But two weeks of the Lennon/McCartney library was a bit much. I think even the contestants got bored with it. Because they were all, for the most part, below their normal performance standards. I'm not sure what causes that kind of thing. Maybe tonight will be better. The songs come from the year in which the contestants were born.
Ramiele - Alone
Immediately she'll be compared to Carrie Underwood, who blew this out of the water about this time three years back. On the low notes she's a little shaky. And she's flat when she hits the chorus. This is really not good for her. Not a good song choice at all. Her voice is not powerful enough for this one. I'm sorry kid, it was bad. 3. Okay, they're saying she's sick. Tough. I'll give her a 4 instead.
Jason - Fragile
This is a good song for him, but slightly boring. Any time this dude can sit behind his guitar and sing, it's a good move. I think he'll make a great acoustic performer. I can see him in coffeehouses and student activity centers across the country. Does he really have what it takes to win it all though? If he stays with the low key stuff like he's been doing, he's just staying in his comfort zone. Good not great. 7.
Syesha - If I Were Your Woman
If she can perform like she did last week and do it consistently, she might win this whole thing. And usually the slow songs get boring, but she's displaying her voice very well. Very powerful. I need to hear everyone else tonight, but I think I have a new favorite in the competition. 10.
Chikezie - If Only For One Night
He's not blowing me away like he did a couple weeks ago. Could be the song choice. It's slow, a little boring. From what I can tell though, he's hitting all his notes, getting all his words. Again, good not great. 7.
Brooke - Every Breath You Take
Gasp... She stumbled at the very beginning. I guess that would be a false start. She started singing before her hands started playing the piano. Once she gets going though, it's pretty good. How much will that hurt her in the eyes of the voting public though? She's as comfortable with 88 keys as Jason is with six strings. She hasn't allowed the flub at the beginning to affect the rest of her performance, which is usually a good sign. She knows she messed up though. Overall I liked it. 8.
Michael - We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions
Honestly, it's nothing spectacular. I'm sure he's still got the over 40 crowd. He probably made a smart move by not hitting the high not in We Are the Champions but some of his other notes were still a bit off. Again, good not great. The band displayed more of their talent than he did vocally. 7. I think I'm alone in that opinion though.
Carly - Total Eclipse of the Heart
My first complaint is that she's not blending well with her back-ups. Or they're not blending well with her. Which I suppose is how it really should be. But Carly is doing a good job. She was powerful when she needed to be. Not her best performance, but still pretty good. 8.
David A. - You're the Voice
I'm not sure about this. I don't think this was a good song choice for him. The beginning was dull. The middle was boring. The end got slightly elevatd, but not great. I think this kid had a couple good weeks early on, but he's not showing us anything spectacular these days. 7.
Kristy Lee - God Bless the USA
Ah, patriotic song. Well played Kristy Lee Cook. So far this is leaps and bounds better than her last two or three performances. She loses a step at the key change. But overall it was pretty good. I'll give her a 7. Go USA!
David C. - Billy Jean
I'd never heard this version of this song. It's interesting. Over the last few weeks David has kind of impressed me. He's getting a little better with each performance. It'll be interesting to see how far he goes in this thing. 9.
Best of the night? Without question, Syesha. Bottom three? Kristy Lee, Ramiele, and Chikezie. If it's based on tongiht's performance, Ramiele will be going home. But since Kristy has been on the block several times already, her fan base may be gone. We'll find out tomorrow night.
Ramiele - Alone
Immediately she'll be compared to Carrie Underwood, who blew this out of the water about this time three years back. On the low notes she's a little shaky. And she's flat when she hits the chorus. This is really not good for her. Not a good song choice at all. Her voice is not powerful enough for this one. I'm sorry kid, it was bad. 3. Okay, they're saying she's sick. Tough. I'll give her a 4 instead.
Jason - Fragile
This is a good song for him, but slightly boring. Any time this dude can sit behind his guitar and sing, it's a good move. I think he'll make a great acoustic performer. I can see him in coffeehouses and student activity centers across the country. Does he really have what it takes to win it all though? If he stays with the low key stuff like he's been doing, he's just staying in his comfort zone. Good not great. 7.
Syesha - If I Were Your Woman
If she can perform like she did last week and do it consistently, she might win this whole thing. And usually the slow songs get boring, but she's displaying her voice very well. Very powerful. I need to hear everyone else tonight, but I think I have a new favorite in the competition. 10.
Chikezie - If Only For One Night
He's not blowing me away like he did a couple weeks ago. Could be the song choice. It's slow, a little boring. From what I can tell though, he's hitting all his notes, getting all his words. Again, good not great. 7.
Brooke - Every Breath You Take
Gasp... She stumbled at the very beginning. I guess that would be a false start. She started singing before her hands started playing the piano. Once she gets going though, it's pretty good. How much will that hurt her in the eyes of the voting public though? She's as comfortable with 88 keys as Jason is with six strings. She hasn't allowed the flub at the beginning to affect the rest of her performance, which is usually a good sign. She knows she messed up though. Overall I liked it. 8.
Michael - We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions
Honestly, it's nothing spectacular. I'm sure he's still got the over 40 crowd. He probably made a smart move by not hitting the high not in We Are the Champions but some of his other notes were still a bit off. Again, good not great. The band displayed more of their talent than he did vocally. 7. I think I'm alone in that opinion though.
Carly - Total Eclipse of the Heart
My first complaint is that she's not blending well with her back-ups. Or they're not blending well with her. Which I suppose is how it really should be. But Carly is doing a good job. She was powerful when she needed to be. Not her best performance, but still pretty good. 8.
David A. - You're the Voice
I'm not sure about this. I don't think this was a good song choice for him. The beginning was dull. The middle was boring. The end got slightly elevatd, but not great. I think this kid had a couple good weeks early on, but he's not showing us anything spectacular these days. 7.
Kristy Lee - God Bless the USA
Ah, patriotic song. Well played Kristy Lee Cook. So far this is leaps and bounds better than her last two or three performances. She loses a step at the key change. But overall it was pretty good. I'll give her a 7. Go USA!
David C. - Billy Jean
I'd never heard this version of this song. It's interesting. Over the last few weeks David has kind of impressed me. He's getting a little better with each performance. It'll be interesting to see how far he goes in this thing. 9.
Best of the night? Without question, Syesha. Bottom three? Kristy Lee, Ramiele, and Chikezie. If it's based on tongiht's performance, Ramiele will be going home. But since Kristy has been on the block several times already, her fan base may be gone. We'll find out tomorrow night.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Procrastination
I'm a procrastinator. I'm pretty sure it's something I could do professionally if it were an actual job. The problem is, if procrastinating was a job, I'd never get a paycheck, 'cause chances are, the folks in payroll are procrastinators too.
I had all of Easter Break to study for an upcoming Hebrew exam. It's an exam that tests my knowledge of all the vocabulary that I've had to learn since the beginning of last semester. That's twenty chapters. Well over 600 words.
Did I use my week out of class wisely? Of course not. I went to Charlotte to hang out with my friends. I had a good time. It wasn't a completely brain dead few days though, I did make up flash cards for the words. I just didn't study them.
Until now.
Tomorrow at 11:30am I have to take this test. A test that will include 25 of these 600 words. It could be anything. So tonight, I will consume copious amounts of caffeine and flash card myself until my eyes will not stay open any longer. In the morning when I wake up (if I fall asleep at all), I will go to my early class. Then I'll come back to my house and study some more. And then, I'll go take this exam.
This too shall pass. I just hope I do too.
I had all of Easter Break to study for an upcoming Hebrew exam. It's an exam that tests my knowledge of all the vocabulary that I've had to learn since the beginning of last semester. That's twenty chapters. Well over 600 words.
Did I use my week out of class wisely? Of course not. I went to Charlotte to hang out with my friends. I had a good time. It wasn't a completely brain dead few days though, I did make up flash cards for the words. I just didn't study them.
Until now.
Tomorrow at 11:30am I have to take this test. A test that will include 25 of these 600 words. It could be anything. So tonight, I will consume copious amounts of caffeine and flash card myself until my eyes will not stay open any longer. In the morning when I wake up (if I fall asleep at all), I will go to my early class. Then I'll come back to my house and study some more. And then, I'll go take this exam.
This too shall pass. I just hope I do too.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Scenes From a Mall
I don't often go to the mall. In fact, since moving to Wake Forest, I've been inside the nearest mall a grand total of four times. All since the holidays. Friday was the first time I made the trip alone. First off, let me just say, the solo mall run is boring at best.
Why would I find a trip to the mall boring? Because of the way my mind works. See, I like to watch people. And I like to make sarcastic comments about a great number of the people I see. If I'm alone, there's no one to hear those comments. There's no one to make those comments to. Granted, I could walk around, observe something funny, and say something about it... but then I'd be talking to myself in public. Apparently this doesn't go over too well in polite society.
I actually didn't see anything too abnormal on Friday evening. It wasn't very busy. I guess people had better things to do than hang out at the mall. However, at one point, I was in Macy's and noticed a couple weaving their way through the racks of clothes. That wouldn't have been so odd, but they were holding hands. I know, that's totally normal for couples to do. But they were grasping each others hands so tightly, it looked like if one of them let go, they would both slip off into oblivion, never to be seen or heard from again. There goes their one shot at true love.
I don't even know why I went to the mall that night. I know I had a reason as I pulled into the parking lot. But by the time I got to the doors, I couldn't remember that reason. Pretty bad, right? But while I was inside, I remembered why I rarely shop at the mall. Stuff there is expensive. I did get a new Superman shirt though. All in all, not a bad trip.
Why would I find a trip to the mall boring? Because of the way my mind works. See, I like to watch people. And I like to make sarcastic comments about a great number of the people I see. If I'm alone, there's no one to hear those comments. There's no one to make those comments to. Granted, I could walk around, observe something funny, and say something about it... but then I'd be talking to myself in public. Apparently this doesn't go over too well in polite society.
I actually didn't see anything too abnormal on Friday evening. It wasn't very busy. I guess people had better things to do than hang out at the mall. However, at one point, I was in Macy's and noticed a couple weaving their way through the racks of clothes. That wouldn't have been so odd, but they were holding hands. I know, that's totally normal for couples to do. But they were grasping each others hands so tightly, it looked like if one of them let go, they would both slip off into oblivion, never to be seen or heard from again. There goes their one shot at true love.
I don't even know why I went to the mall that night. I know I had a reason as I pulled into the parking lot. But by the time I got to the doors, I couldn't remember that reason. Pretty bad, right? But while I was inside, I remembered why I rarely shop at the mall. Stuff there is expensive. I did get a new Superman shirt though. All in all, not a bad trip.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Legends of the Bank Teller - Episode XI
My fellow Americans, when you come to my bank, you must have your coin rolled if you expect us to exchange it for paper money. Most of you are aware of this.
What some of you may be unaware of is that the values placed on the coin wrappers are not just a suggestion. When you have a penny wrapper that has the number 50 on there, it means you have to put in 50 cents worth of pennies. Not 57 or 58. 50.
When you have a roll of dimes with the number 5 or the word "five" on it, that means five dollars worth in dimes. Not $4.70.
Today a gentleman came in claiming to have 90-some dollars worth of rolled coin that he wanted to deposit into his kids' savings accounts. When I counted his rolls, I came up with something in the 80s. But something troubled me: some rolls of pennies were much longer than others.
This meant I had to open them all up and count them individually. We don't have a counting machine. So this was all done by hand. After adding and subtracting everything (and counting numerous dimes, nickels, and quarters as well) he was short by 48 cents. Granted, not a big deal in the long run, but I spent the better part of my day counting coins. This wasn't fun.
The moral of the story? If you're thinking of exchanging your change for real money, be sure to count it before you roll it. You can't just make a guess about those things. Just because it looks like it might be the right amount doesn't mean it is. Never assume.
What some of you may be unaware of is that the values placed on the coin wrappers are not just a suggestion. When you have a penny wrapper that has the number 50 on there, it means you have to put in 50 cents worth of pennies. Not 57 or 58. 50.
When you have a roll of dimes with the number 5 or the word "five" on it, that means five dollars worth in dimes. Not $4.70.
Today a gentleman came in claiming to have 90-some dollars worth of rolled coin that he wanted to deposit into his kids' savings accounts. When I counted his rolls, I came up with something in the 80s. But something troubled me: some rolls of pennies were much longer than others.
This meant I had to open them all up and count them individually. We don't have a counting machine. So this was all done by hand. After adding and subtracting everything (and counting numerous dimes, nickels, and quarters as well) he was short by 48 cents. Granted, not a big deal in the long run, but I spent the better part of my day counting coins. This wasn't fun.
The moral of the story? If you're thinking of exchanging your change for real money, be sure to count it before you roll it. You can't just make a guess about those things. Just because it looks like it might be the right amount doesn't mean it is. Never assume.
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