The Single Guy Versus the Dartboard

The following account may be a bit of an exaggeration. But, to be honest, that's how most accounts in the Single Guy's life tend to be.

Not too long ago, the Single Guy was sitting around a fire with some friends. At some point, someone brought up a little sports bar in Blacksburg that served hamburgers for a buck on Monday nights. And they weren't the flimsy little McDonald's style burgers, either. This place serves up the quarter-pounders for a dollar. Of course, you have to add toppings at 35 cents apiece. Still, not too shabby. Who is the Single Guy to pass up an economic incentive such as this?

Thanks to Jamie for the picture!

To sweeten the deal, it was mentioned that this little sports bar included pool tables and dartboards. The Single Guy hadn't played a legitimate game of darts since college. During his sophomore year, he had an electronic dartboard hanging on the closet door. This proved to be a great deal of fun for him, his roommates and the various passers by that would drop in from time to time. Until all the plastic tips for the darts bent or broke from repeated use. They lasted a good two months.

After obtaining permission from Michaelangelo to attend the Monday night outing, the Single Guy made plans to be there. In fact, he spent much of the weekend looking forward to a dollar burger and some old fashioned dart throwing.

Monday night arrived and the sports bar delivered. The burger was a little undercooked for the Single Guy's liking. But, still, it was a decent meal for way under five bucks. Bonus, the restaurant offered a substantial basket of french fries for $2.50. So, actually, the night cost the Single Guy a little over $5 when a tip was included for the barkeep. Then came the darts. Which were free.

The group with whom the Single Guy was hanging out was split into teams. Then they all began playing a couple separate games of something called Cricket. The Single Guy, being less than an expert in all things involving a dartboard, was somewhat clueless as to how to play the game. In fact, he was pretty sure that cricket involved some kind of flattened baseball bat and something called a "wicket." But he learned. As did his teammate and opponents.

The Single Guy's partner suggested a proper name for their team. After all, one can't cheer for a team without knowing the team's name, right? So the partner went with Team Jesus. Her thought was that, with a name like that, God would be on their side. It may have worked.

Throughout the evening, there were ups and downs to Team Jesus' dart throwing abilities. But it felt really good when they were able to hit the bulls eyes. The Single Guy has never been great with his aim. So to have a small, metal-tipped projectile leave his hand and find its intended target? He was a little thrilled.

Team Jesus barely won their first game against the opponents. The opponents kind of destroyed Team Jesus in round two. By that point, it was getting kind of late. But neither team could walk away with a tied record. They had to play to the best of three games. Game three was kind of close, but Team Jesus walked away with the victory. Was it because God was on their side? Let's just leave that question as it is.

The Single Guy didn't realize how much fun throwing darts could be. Immediately after leaving the sports bar that night, he began to hope that the night would be repeated the following Monday. He's always wanted to have the kind of place that a group of friends could hang out. A real life Central Perk or MacLaren's Pub. Maybe this sports bar could be just that. Now the Single Guy just needs to come up with a catchy theme song and his life as a sitcom is all set.

Making Deals, Making Steals

I love my church. I'm not sure if I've taken the opportunity to express that here yet. For the first time in over a decade I can honestly say I'm a member of a church that I love.

One thing I love about Northstar Church is the opportunity to serve. Week after week, the people of the church are given numerous opportunities to volunteer somewhere. There are so many ministries to plug into, and these give everyone a chance to share God's love in a real way.

Each year, the staff at Northstar hosts a Volunteer Appreciation Banquet. It's the church's way of saying thank you to all the folks that help in various ministries throughout the year. And every year, I'm told, there's a different theme.

Last Friday was my first experience with this annual event. This year's theme was Let's Make a Deal. Everyone was encouraged to dress up in some kind of crazy costume and come out to play the classic game show. I, being the geek that I am, chose to appear as the Green Lantern.

My costume was good enough to get me noticed. In fact, I was one of the contestants chosen for the first game. For the game, there were four players and six prize boxes. Each player would roll a die and they would get the box with the corresponding number. If two people rolled the same number, the second roller could choose to steal the previous roller's unopened box or roll again. Here's how my game could have gone...

The girl before me rolled a five. Then I followed up with a five. I was given the choice: steal or roll again. The audience was all in agreement. They wanted me to steal. But I responded, "I believe it was the late, great Charleton Heston who said, 'Thou shalt not steal!'" So I rolled again and walked away with an iPod Shuffle.

That's how it could have gone. But here's how it really went...

The girl before me rolled a five. Then I followed up with a five. I was given the choice: steal or roll again. The audience was all in agreement. They wanted me to steal. And who am I to deny the audience of what they want to see? Like a gladiator in the ancient colliseum, I went for the kill. Or the steal, as it were. the girl before me rolled again and I kept her five box. The prizes were revealed. I got the ZONK.

Ladies and gentlemen, I walked away with nothing. All because I succumbed to peer pressure and broke one of the Lord's commandments. Lesson learned.

10 Benefits of Having a Comb Over

We're all well aware of what the comb over is, right? Did Donald Trump just enter your mind? Joe Biden? Two men at either end of the political spectrum, both rocking the comb over. The comb over transcends politics, values and beliefs. But what would possess a bald or balding man to make that life decision? Why would they go with such a hair style? It's not as if they're fooling anyone. Comb over guys, the secret's out. We all know you're follicularly challenged. But there must be a reason. And I've come up with ten.

1. Sun Protection Factor:
Anyone who has shaved or even buzzed their hair in the summertime knows just how painful a scalp sunburn can be. Then, as it heals, the skin flakes off, giving a dandruffy impression. A comb over would provide some much needed shade on those hot, sunny days.

2. Keeping Out the Chill:
People tend to underestimate the amount of warmth that hair can provide. Even shaving off a beard can cause your face to become unexpectedly chilled. So a comb over could be a great asst for a bald scalp when winter comes.

3. Weaponized Hair:
Comb over hair can become quite long for some men. After all, that hair may have to cover a lot of real estate, depending on the area of baldness. That long hair can become a dangerous weapon if utilized properly. Whip that thing around and you could put an eye out. Just be careful that it's not your own.

4. Camouflage:
The purpose of camouflage is to help you blend in. In a way, comb overs are an attempt to blend in with people with full heads of hair. Nice try, fellas!

5. Halloween Costume:
Again, if that comb over hair gets long enough, it can be beneficial. When October 31 rolls around, you'll be ready to trick-or-treat as Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.

6. Neck Muscle Strengthening:
Hair gets heavy. You've gotta build some pretty strong neck muscles to carry it on your head. Especially if you've weaponized it and are whipping it around taking out the bad guys.

7. Charitable Donations:
Ever heard of Locks of Love? Well, while you grow that hair out to the full 10 inches they require, comb it on over to save some space.

8. Provide a Good Home for Rodents:
You get a good pile of messy hair wrapped up on top of someone's head, it kind of looks like a rat's nest, right? So there you go. Keep some tiny animals in there. They'd make for a good topic of conversation. Okay, maybe not a good topic. But definitely a topic.

9. Give Daughters Practice in Braiding:
Once again, if that comb over hair gets long enough, there's a lot that could be done with it. And if you have a daughter, there's a good chance she's gonna like playing with hair. She might want to practice her braiding skills on dear old dad's comb over. It's just hanging there, too tempting for the girl to pass up. Submit to the comb over makeover.

10. So Darn Stylish:
Self explanatory. Really.

And there you have it. Can you think of any other reasons why the comb over is such a popular fashion statement? Let me know in the comments!

Question of the Week: Being Human

What do we all have in common besides our genes that make us human?

Well, we all have eyes and mouths. Though I guess that's something that's written in our DNA. So... I guess that's a part of our genes. I'm gonna just go with emotion. Even the most emotionless among us (for example, me) have this tendency to feel things. It can be argued that many animals feel emotions as well, so maybe our emotion isn't exactly what makes us human. But I'd be willing to bet that animals don't feel emotions as deeply or to the extent that people do.

Resistant

I usually embrace the Sunday Scribblings writing prompt as a challenge to write a short piece of fiction. Last week, I wrote about my actual day. Some of it may have been exaggerated, but it was, essentially, non-fiction. This time, I don't even have a non-fiction story to share.

I've been sitting in front of my computer for the last hour. I've been looking at the word "Resistant" trying to come up with some story to build around that word. And I've come up with nothing. It's as if my brain is resistant to creativity today.

Maybe I just have a lot on my mind and it's difficult to wade through all of that. No, I'm not stressed out exactly. I mean, yes, I do have a lot to do for work this week. Well, really, in the next couple of days. Tends to happen whenever the end of the month arrives. But I'm really not concerned about that. I'm not too concerned about much of anything right now. That's how I am most of the time.

I don't tend to worry. There are some people who look at me and wish they could have that kind of attitude. I can't teach people how to not worry. It's just a choice that I make. But I don't want this post to be about how much I do or don't stress out about things.

Believe it or not, I do want to incorporate this week's writing prompt. And to do that, I need to talk about some stuff I've been reading lately.

The small group that I've joined through church is reading through the entire Bible this year. Thus far, we've read the entire books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua and Job. This week, we're getting through Judges. I've attempted to read through the Bible before. I usually fail around Leviticus. It's been a lot easier this time around because I'm doing it with a group of people. We're able to encourage each other week after week to keep going. And we discuss what we've read and how to apply it to our lives today. Not always easy to do when taking on some of the, seemingly, more obscure laws found in the Pentateuch.

Last week, as a part of our discussion as a group, we were each challenged to think of a favorite story or passage that we've read thus far. I came up with one or two specific stories that I've really enjoyed. But those aren't the things I wanted to share with the group. No, I wanted to share just how impressed I was with the Bible as a whole.

I'm sure that sounds like a cop out. Especially since we haven't actually read through the entire Bible yet. But, what we have read, I love. Not the individual stories. I love how cohesive it all is. I grew up in church and I've taken a lot of classes involving biblical studies. So I've heard a lot of pastors and professors talk about the Bible as a whole. I've heard it said that everything prior to Jesus' lifetime is pointing toward the work He did on the cross. Everything afterward points back to His work on the cross. It's great to see that for myself while reading through the early history of the nation of Israel.

And it's not as difficult as you might think to apply a lot of the Old Testament's lessons to life in the 21st century. People are people. When it comes to listening to the voice of God, we still have the same struggles that Abraham's descendents had. It's always been so easy for me to look back at the story of the Exodus and think about how stupid the Israelites were. I mean, God just saved them from slavery in Egypt with some pretty amazing miracles. The sea parted. Moses goes up on the mountain to get the law from the Lord and in the time he's gone, the people build a golden calf to worship. This kind of thing happens repeatedly. The people are so easily distracted from living righteous lives, only to be violently reminded who is really in control.

Like I said, it's easy to look back at those stories and think the people were stupid. It's also easy, and maybe a little convenient, to ignore my own stupidity. Time after time, the Bible gives us examples of how resistant God's people were to hearing His voice. Time after time, I find that I am just as resistant to hearing His voice.

Over the centuries, it seems that mankind has become more and more removed from our ability to hear God's voice. Those old stories usually involve God speaking to a chosen individual or individuals. There was Abraham and his immediate descendents, Moses, Joshua and the judges. God spoke, they listened. God used those men and women to remind Israel that God was still around. If the people of those days had God speaking directly to them, and still had trouble hearing His voice, how much harder is it for us today?

In this day and age, we don't have prophets to tell us what God is trying to say. If we did, there's a good chance we would just label them as crazy people. So how do we change that? Should we go out looking for a burning bush? Should we lay out a fleece looking for God's answers? I don't have the answer. All I know for sure is that I'm finally at a place in my life where I enjoy reading the words that God gave humanity that have been passed down through the millennia. So far, I really enjoy what He's had to say and I look forward to hearing His voice even more clearly from here on out.

Usually I'm Not One to Brag

Honestly, though, I'm kind of proud of myself.

Toward the end of last summer, I made a decision. I decided that I wanted to make changes in my life. I wanted to try and become more healthy. That kind of change would involve a switch in the way I did most of the things in my life.

Looking back at a blog post I wrote on September 3, it's easy to see where I've succeeded and where I've fallen short. Makes me kind of glad I still do this blogging thing. My life's story is available at a moment's notice.

It was then that I decided to shed some weight. I decided I would change the way I ate and the way I exercised. In changing the way I ate, I cut back on a lot of things and cut out sugary sodas. In changing the way I exercised, it meant exercising at all. And, for the most part, I've stuck with it.

I'll be honest, there have been moments when I've failed in this change of lifestyle. The temptation is always there to choose Mountain Dew over Coke Zero. Most of the time, I'm able to resist that temptation. Sometimes, though, I give myself a pass.

I set a goal for myself to lose roughly 44 pounds by March 6, my 33rd birthday. I didn't make it. Nearly two months later than that 33rd birthday, I can still say that I've just lost 25 pounds. But I'm not that disappointed by that number.

25 pounds feels kind of significant, especially considering I've never attempted any kind of real weight loss regimen before. I'd be thrilled to tell you that I've been able to get down to my goal weight of 180, but I'm equally thrilled to say that I've gotten down to floating around 200 and have maintained for over a month. The fact that I've plateaued in my weight loss just inspires me to begin pushing a little harder.

But weight is just a number. There are other reasons that I can be proud of myself. For one thing, I ran in a 10k race two weeks ago. I finished the race. And I did it in less time than I expected for myself. That's huge to me, considering I never cared to even lace up a pair of running shoes before last September.

Another thing that excites me is my clothing. I see myself in the mirror every day, so whatever changes are happening are gradual and I really don't recognize them in myself. Where I notice the change is in the clothes I wear. Last summer, I was wearing pants with a size 40 waste. Now, I wear size 36. The other day I needed a black belt and the only one I own is from a suit that now hangs off me like a black circus tent. In order to make the belt fit the pants I was wearing, I needed to cut a new hole with my pocket knife. That new hole is about 2.5 inches farther into the belt than the closest factory-made hole. That felt pretty darn good.

As I've said, I'm usually not one to brag on myself. Most of the time, I walk a very thin line between self-deprecation and overconfidence. When I put on an air of cockiness and tell people how awesome I am, I have to convince myself to believe it, even though I'm saying it with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. But I'm proud of how far I've come in the last 8 months and I thought it worth sharing.

I'm not finished. I haven't reached my goal weight. I have 20 pounds to go. And I'm not done running. I have a 5k to run in November. I have a repeat 10k to run in 2014. And I'd kind of like to work my way up to a half marathon at some point in the not too distant future. So stay tuned.

Remembering Bluefield: Sarah Nash Blunt

Welcome to another thrilling installment of Remembering Bluefield! This week we sit down with Sarah Blunt. I met Sarah at Bluefield College, but soon realized that I had met her when we were both small children, back when I took piano lessons from her grandmother. Small world, right? But enough about me. Let's catch up with Sarah...

Name:
Sarah Nash Blunt

What year did you graduate?
2003

What degree did you earn?
B.S. in Psychology, Minor in History and Criminal Justice

What drew you to Bluefield College?
My parents really pushed it because it was the cheapest of all the colleges I looked at, but I liked it because it was small and Christian based. And every time I visited, it was May and gorgeous.

What kept you there?
Friends!! And Justin :-) And my classes with Dr. Johnson.

Is there a class that changed your life? If so, what?
Psychology and Childhood Development made me realize I really liked studying that and I was good at it! So I changed my major from Education to Psychology.

What teacher had the biggest impact on you? Why?
Dr. Johnson, who taught Psychology and Childhood Development and a lot of my other psychology courses, was my all-time favorite professor. She was not afraid to be an example of a schizophrenic, tell you what she believed, and pray for you. She really showed she cared about what she was teaching, and that she cared about us. I actually enjoyed going to her classes. She didn't just lecture, she taught! She was an all-around great lady too!
I like Dr. Tresch too. Most people might have thought he was boring, but I loved history and was amazed at all he knew from memory!

Did you live on campus or commute?
I lived on campus the whole 4 years!

Who were your roommates?
Freshman year, first semester - Sophia (something)... sad I can't remember her name.
Freshman year, second semester - Shannon Harris and Jessica Taylor
Sophomore year - Beth Hyatt! I loved living with her!
Junior and Senior years - I was an RA, so I lived alone. But senior year I had the best suite mates Jo Cummings and Tish Smith!

Share an epic roommate story (if you have one).
Can't remember any good ones right now.

What's your most cherished Bluefield College memory?
Dating Justin is one of my most cherished memories! But as a financially poor couple, where do you go for a date in Bluefield? To Wal-Mart! We would just sit on the outdoor swings, which had been placed for sale throughout the stores and talk for hours. That was free!
And one of my favorite memories would be coming back from my brother's wedding in Roanoke just in time for the Homecoming dance (I was also supposed to be on RA duty the next day). Justin and I walk in the door and Heather runs up to me so excited I made it back in time; I guess she knew I was going to win Homecoming Queen. That was pretty special. I have never ever won something like that, as superficial as it may be, I felt pretty special.
I also loved to play Spoons or Phase 10 with a big group of people out on the Rish Hall porch! So fun! I loved going to the basketball games too! Or going to get Hardees' biscuits at 2am!
Another memory that sticks out to me was during my Junior year, I was at one of the Freshman social things for the first week as an RA. They had karaoke in the Quad. I saw this guy get up to sing, and the DJ said he was going to sing the Reba song "Fancy." And so that was the first time I saw and heard Andy Berry, and I remember thinking, "Oh, he's special..." Sorry, Andy!

Where are you now?
I married Justin Blunt, and we have two great and cute kids. Emilie (Emmie) is in kindergarten and Caleb (Cal) is 11 months old! We live in the east end of Richmond, close to New Kent. Justin and I will have been married 9 years in July. Justin teaches 8th grade Civics at Oak Knoll Middle School and is the youth director at Sandston Baptist Church.

What are you doing?
I work for the International Mission Board (Lottie Moon Offering) helping missionaries who serve in Asia. I kind of work in the "human resources department" and the missionaries are the "employees" I serve. I love it! One of the best jobs I have ever had.

Does that mean you're using your degree?
I do use what I learned a lot actually. I may not be a counselor like I thought I wanted to be, but I do use what I learned in the classroom in everyday life; helping missionaries, helping the youth group, and raising my kids.

Are you where you pictured yourself being when you were in college?
Not really. I always hoped I would be married and have kids one day, but I never thought I would move away from Roanoke, live in Richmond or work for Lottie Moon!

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Here, being a mom of a 10 year old girl and 5 year old boy. Oh, I don't like thinking that far ahead! The only change I hope for is a new house. We are running out of space!

What's your greatest post-BC accomplishment?
Emilie and Caleb

What's your fondest post-BC memory?
Our wedding! So fun!

If you had it to do all over again, would you change anything?
I don't think so... maybe get a different wedding planner... and a better cake!

Thanks again to Sarah for taking the time to play along! Who should we grill next week? Let me know in the comments!

Ny-Quil Fueled Altered States

You know, I've been taking Ny-Quil for most of my adult life. No, I don't mean I take it all the time just for the heck of it. I mean, I've been tempted on those nights when I just can't get to sleep. But tempted isn't the same thing as actually doing it. What I mean is, when I get a cold, my usual go-to night-time medication has been Ny-Quil.

I don't remember the over the counter medication giving me quite so many strange dreams as it has this week. For the past three nights, I've taken Ny-Quil to help relieve my current cold symptoms so that I could get a full 8 hours. Or, more realistically, 6 hours. Anyway, each of those nights, I've woken in the predawn hours with the fading memories of some pretty bizarre dreams.

Personally, I'm a fan of the weird dream. The weird ones are the most memorable. And, as far as I'm concerned, the more unrealistic the better.

Monday night, I dreamed that my Dad was still alive. Any of you who have followed this blog for more than a few years are probably aware that Dad passed away back in 2006. At first, he would often make appearances in my dreams. As time has passed, he's shown up less and less. There's a part of me that really enjoys dreaming about him and seeing him again. Even though it's just a dream, it's like getting to spend time with him, something I dearly miss. At the same time, I don't like dreaming about him, simply because waking up is like a cruel torture. The mind can make a dream so real while you're in it. Waking up to reality becomes completely unfair.

So in my dream, he's still with us. He had gotten a new apartment somewhere. It was a place that seemed familiar, yet, at the same time, was really unfamiliar. For some reason (and I knew this to be a completely logical thing in the dream), he wasn't home. In fact, I had been house sitting for him while he was out of town. Not sure where he was, but I was doing him a favor. So I came back to his place after an evening out and about and was getting ready to go to bed. Then I heard the TV on in his bedroom. So I went to investigate. And there he was, lying in his bed. He had fallen asleep while watching it. Something he often did in life. I'm not sure why, at that point, I felt the need to explore his apartment. If I'd been watching the place while he was on vacation, I should have had plenty of time to get the lay of the land. But as I explored the place in the middle of the night, the apartment seemed to expand and shift. Perfectly normal in this dream world I was creating. What had begun as a 2-bedroom, 1-bath place suddenly had multiple hallways, extra bathrooms and a sprawling dining hall. Sadly, I woke up to the real world before getting to hang out with Dad in the dream. He was asleep the whole time. Slacker. I mean, if you're gonna take a break from hanging out in Heaven to make an appearance in your son's dream, the least you could do is stay awake for it.

Tuesday night, I dreamed that Dad was alive again. This time, however, we were all hanging out at some campground. And by "we" I really don't know who I mean. I think several other family members were there. And, in my head, they were all family that I knew by name. But their faces were unfamiliar. Even Dad's face was unfamiliar. But I knew he was Dad. Yeah, I don't get it. I read once that we can only dream about people we've seen before, that our minds are incapable of creating facial images from nothingness. So if you dream of someone you don't recognize, your mind is simply pulling up the image of a face that you saw and didn't even realize you filed away in your subconscious memory. Weird, right?

Anyway, we're at this campground and we're trying to get ready for some big event. I don't know what the event was and I don't know who put us in charge, but nothing was going right. There were apparently animal attacks that were happening off camera. Of course, when I say off camera, I mean that I knew it was happening, it just didn't happen in the context of the dream itself. Is everyone still with me? I hope so, 'cause I kind of feel like I'm losing myself. One attack that did happen within the dream occurred when a swarm of wasps somehow got into one of the cabins. I shouldn't have been surprised by this insect infestation. The cabins were pretty shabby. It's amazing they were even standing at all. But I guess real world physics don't really apply to our dreams. Anyway, the wasps attacking was the last straw for me. I found the "Dad" character, who seriously looked nothing like my father at all, and began crying. I yelled at him, telling him I hated this place and I never wanted to come back here again! I don't know why I was throwing a temper tantrum. In my dream, I was an adult. Though, I did throw a temper tantrum in real life last week as an attempt to show a kid I work with how ridiculous a temper tantrum actually looks.

And then last night, I had another wacky dream. But this one I don't remember. All I really remember of it is waking up at 4am feeling really unsettled by it. I don't think it was frightening or anything like that. It must have just been crazy go nuts.

I was thinking about going to bed tonight without the Ny-Quil. But I'm still showing the signs of a cold. The symptoms aren't as severe as they were earlier in the week, but I'm sure I could benefit from the sleep aid anyway. Besides, I'm curious as to what kind of strange worlds my liquid dream weaver will send me to this time. If I see anything good, I'll let you know. If I remember them in the morning, that is.

Sweet dreams, kids.

Sharing the Groceries

You know what? I consider myself a somewhat friendly person.

No. I can't back that up. I'm far to introverted to ever be considered a "friendly" person. The best I can give you is probably "I'm not mean." Will that work? I'm not a mean person.

The thing is, I'm single and usually at the broke end of the wealth spectrum. I live in an apartment with roommates out of necessity. That necessity being that I can't afford to live on my own at the moment. The roommates I currently have are people that I don't know very well. These guys are not friends of mine. I'm only in the same apartment with them because the property managers of the complex in which we live randomly placed us together.

Because we are not friends, I do not want to share my groceries with them. Is that so wrong? I work very hard for the little money I receive on a monthly basis. So I want to use that money on the groceries that I want to eat. I simply can't afford to feed myself along with two hungry college students.

Financially, things have been difficult lately. It's hard to make ends meet when snow days get in the way. If I've never explained, I don't get paid for days when I'm not in school. I mean, it's great to have a day off every now and then... or to only have a 3 day work week (like we did for most of the winter), but that makes my savings account disappear. So this week, I made a plan. I bought the groceries I would need to get me through to my next paycheck. I planned out my meals. That plan changes when suddenly some of the food I bought has disappeared.

Math lesson: Yesterday I opened a new package of frozen chicken patties. That package contained 9 frozen chicken patties. I ate 2 of them. Today, I looked in the freezer and that package only contained 4 frozen chicken patties. Do you see how the numbers don't add up? Or subtract down, as it were. If I've done my math correctly, there are three missing.

Notice this image is from Home Alone. That's how I wish I was more often than not. Via

It would be completely different if I lived with roommates that I considered friends. Back when I lived with the Other Single Guy, we went to the store together. We shared the grocery bill more often than not. But that's now how it is with the guys I'm living with right now. We don't go to the store together. We don't do anything together. We're not friends! I don't want you to eat my food! I don't drink your vodka!

Yesterday, one of the guys let me know he used a cup of my milk to make mashed potatoes. That's fine. You know why? I drink out of the jug of milk that I purchase. It's mine, that's my right. So I've been drinking out of that jug. And I have a cold. So, roommate that's been stealing my food, I hope you enjoy my germs in the next couple days.

As always, donations to the Feed the Blogger Fund are undeserved but much appreciated!

A Dater's Guide to Disney Princesses

Ask anyone, even a guy, who their favorite Disney princess is, and there's a good chance they'll have an answer for you. Chances are, they'll have a well thought out answer. According to the official Disney Princess home page, there are currently 10 Disney princesses in the line up. Each of these fictional, animated characters shares the common thread of being featured in one or more films. But each was also created to have her own unique personality. These unique personalities have made it possible for people to choose their favorites over the years.

So how do people choose a favorite? Is it how they look? What dress they're drawn in? Singing ability? Willingness to frolic with tiny woodland creatures? What follows is my guide to just how datable each of these princesses really is. If the Disney princes had had this primer before their movies premiered, some may have had second thoughts. Others would probably think, Yeah, I picked the right one! So here they are, in order of their appearance in popular culture...

Snow White

Everyone knows who Snow White is, right? I mean, if you haven't seen the Disney classic, there's a good chance you saw one of the two movies that told the story last year: Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror, Mirror. And then there's the current TV show Once Upon a Time, which puts a modern spin on things. What do we know about the first Disney princess? According to Christopher Finch's The Art of Walt Disney: From Mickey Mouse to the Magic Kingdoms, Snow White is a 14-year-old princess whose parents are dead. A magic mirror claims that she's the fairest in the land, whatever that means. Turns out that's enough to set off her psychotic step-mother in a jealous, homicidal rage. So Snow has to run away from the castle to become a housekeeper for a group of miners. This isn't much of a change for her since the queen was using her as slave labor.

Should You Date Her?
Absolutely not. For one thing, she's 14. I don't think that's ever mentioned in the movie, but it's in a book that chronicles the history of Disney animation. That means that someone somewhere made a decision to make Snow White a 14-year-old girl. That's just way too young. Also, that information really paints the queen in a much more evil light. Who tries to murder a 14-year-old girl? But let's pretend she's old enough to date. She lived with seven dudes at the same time. That denotes a questionable morality at best. It may have been completely platonic, but still... seven guys just seems like too much. Add to that the fact that some of her best friends appear to be birds and rodents, it just seems sketchy. They help her clean house. That doesn't scream "clean" to me. Prince Charming should probably just move on.

Cinderella

Another tragic story of a poor little rich girl. Raised in an aristocratic home, she lost her mother at a young age. Dad felt that she needed a mother figure in her life, so he remarried and brought a couple step-sisters into the mix as well. I've got to ask, where did her father meet this woman? Did she just pretend to be nice until the old man died? Because, as we all know, Lady Tremaine forced the girl into slave labor (I'm sensing a theme). Luckily, Cinderella had a fairy godmother that decided to give the girl a magic date night with a prince. Unlike Snow White, she wasn't born into royalty. Spoiler alert: she marries into it, giving her that "happily ever after" that these princesses all seek.

Should You Date Her?
I'm gonna say no to this one as well. While she is noticeably older than Snow White, she still has that issue of consorting with vermin. While the mice of the sprawling mansion seem to be fantastic seamstresses, I'm not sure I'd trust them to put together a proper dress. What's worse, she talks to the mice and they talk back. Someone may have some issues with hallucinations. This becomes more apparent when a "fairy godmother" magically appears and turns her rags into a gown and a pumpkin into a coach. Assuming the fairy godmother's magic was real, Cinderella relies a bit too much on that magic to make her happily ever after come true. Although, she and the step-sisters are the only ones we see vying for the prince's affections. That being the case, Cinderella is the only logical choice, with or without the glass slipper.

Aurora

Ah, Sleeping Beauty. I'll admit, this was one of my favorites as a kid. Maybe it's because they did a lot to flesh out the villainess, Maleficent, this time around. She just seemed like a really cool bad guy. Aurora, on the other hand, doesn't get a lot of screen time. She's only around as a speaking character for the middle third of the film. At the beginning, she's an infant. For most of the end, she's asleep.

Should You Date Her?
Probably not, no. Don't get me wrong, she's cute and all. And she's got more of a rustic appeal than the previous princesses had. It helps that she was raised in a cabin in the woods, away from her royal palace. But that's an issue in itself. She's got family she doesn't know. That's going to cause a significant identity crisis when she goes back home for her 16th birthday. Also, she's only 16. Also, she's another one that talks to animals. I'm starting to think it's almost understandable to have conversations with these woodland creatures, though. Snow and Cindy were slaves, so they didn't get a lot of social time. Aurora only hangs out with three old women. I'd probably find myself talking to mice and squirrels too. Throw all that out, though. She apparently has a problem with narcolepsy. She and Prince Phillip get married, they settle into their own palace and Phillip might be feeling a little frisky, as husbands sometimes do. All he ever hears from Aurora? "Not tonight, dear, I'm tired." Red flag, Phillip. Red flag.

Ariel

The Little Mermaid is another of my favorites. This is one that was new in my childhood. It probably really introduced me to the Disney animated musical. For the first time, we have a princess who has a very strong personality. She's assertive and rebellious and it gets her into a whole lot of trouble. Which is probably good because, otherwise, it would have been a boring movie. She's a collector of random surface-world items and happens to fall in love with a handsome prince. Don't they all?

Should You Date Her?
Absolutely not. I feel like I'm being really negative with these girls. And I like Ariel, I really do. She has a fantastic singing voice. But she was willing to sacrifice her greatest asset to a sketchy sea-witch. So right off you know her decision making skills are pretty poor. Also, she's a hoarder. I know, I called her a "collector" in the above paragraph, but I was being nice. Have you seen that trove of hers? Who needs 20 thingamabobs? I mean, really. Also, it's never enough. In a direct quote from Ariel's "Part of Your World" she says, "You want thingamabobs? I got 20! But who cares? No big deal. I want more." Prince Eric, look out. You could give her the world and it will still not be enough. It may seem simple to give her a lifetime supply of dinglehoppers with which she can brush her hair, but do you really want a palace full of useless forks? And, again, I feel the need to bring up the age issue. She's 16, which means she's probably old enough to date. But she is just 16. And she's kind of delinquent. Why is she signing contracts as a minor? I get it. She's a real princess. She's the possible heiress to the Seven Seas. But where's her mother? As the youngest of Triton's daughters, there's a good chance she's never had much of a maternal influence in her life. With only an angry merman to raise her and her six sisters, she's bound to have some serious daddy issues.

Belle

Beauty and the Beast is definitely my favorite of these Disney films. Sure, Disney took a lot of creative liberties with the story and there are tons of plot holes that one could spend hours, even days, debating over. But it's fun to watch. And sing along with. Go on, pretend like you're not singing with Belle when she walks through the village saying bon jour to the townsfolk.

Should You Date Her?
Yes. This is one of the good ones. She's well read and obviously educated. She's not shallow, otherwise she'd be with that lunkhead Gaston. She loves her family. Granted, the only family she has when we meet her is her father, Maurice. But she doesn't care what the people of the town say about her dad, she's there for him no matter what. And she sacrifices her own freedom for his after they first encounter the Beast. The Beast/Prince definitely comes out ahead in this relationship. Especially when she breaks the curse and all the servants become people again, meaning they have no furniture or dishes in the palace.

Jasmine

Her tale is told in the story of Aladdin. She's the daughter of the Sultan of Agrabah, giving her a significant amount of power herself, as the person she marries will eventually succeed the sultan as ruler. It seems a bit unfair to think that Jasmine herself isn't in line for the throne, only the guy she marries. Actually, that's really unfair. Come on, Agrabah! Let's try to rethink how the line of succession works in the future, okay?

Should You Date Her?
No. Don't get me wrong, Jasmine's gorgeous. And I think the name, Jasmine, is all kinds of beautiful. But she will probably always question why you're with her. Do you love her for her or do you love her for her father's throne? Yes, she's adventurous and courageous. Much more so than most pampered princesses who rarely see beyond the palace walls. And let's think about her family for a moment. The sultan doesn't seem to be playing with a full deck. And he's highly susceptible to hypnotic suggestion. Studies have shown that, in cases like these, the apple does not fall far from the tree. How long would it be before Jasmine started exhibiting signs of her own senility? That could turn into a long-term problem for Prince Ali.

Pocahontas

The daughter of a Native American chief, Pocahontas was single-handedly responsible for welcoming the British to the new world and taught them how to fish and plant crops so that they wouldn't starve to death during the harsh winter. What? That's not really how it happened? Well, if Disney can rewrite history, why can't I? To be fair, it can simply be said that Disney fictionalized a story based on actual historic figures.

Should You Date Her?
Yes. In 1607, when the Jamestown settlers arrived in the New World, the real Pocahontas was only 12 years old. The movie portrays her as much older. Let's go with the movie portrayal so it isn't quite so gross. She's outdoorsy and knows her stuff. Also, she's wicked brave. She put her own neck on the line when attempting to save John Smith. Pocahontas is the kind of girl who is able to respect her family and their traditions, but she's also not afraid to stand up for something she believes in so she can follow her own path. I respect that.

Mulan

Is Mulan really a princess? She doesn't come from a royal line that I'm aware of. And in the end, she falls in love with her superior officer. I don't think that means she's a princess. She's admirable, yes, but not a princess.

Should You Date Her?
No. For one thing, she's lying about being a princess. For another, she seems kind of gender confused. I understand that her reasons are noble. She's saving her elderly father from having to go off to war. This means she has strong family ties, a plus. But she's dressing like a guy. For most of the movie. I mean, if that's the kind of thing she's into, that's cool. I guess. But it seems to me that would be problematic in terms of having a relationship.

Tiana

Tiana is another one who married into her title. Sorry, hope that's not a spoiler. I've only seen The Princess and the Frog once, so I'm not as familiar as I have been with some of the older movies.

Should You Date Her?
Yes. Like I said, I'm not terribly familiar with Tiana's story. But here's what I know about her that makes her datable. She's a very hard worker. The girl's working two jobs when we first meet her, all to save up money to make her dream of owning her own restaurant come true. This causes her to become a little obsessed, but she's able to move beyond that obsession soon enough. She's willing to work for what she wants, but isn't oblivious to the fact that what she wants is not always what she needs. Another plus, she's faced with temptation and an easy way out of her predicament, but turns it down. She's ready to do what's right for the right reasons. She's a keeper.

Rapunzel

Poor girl. Lived a sheltered life 'til she was 18. Locked away in a tower for "her own good." The woman that raised her kept her away from the world because it wouldn't be safe for her if people knew about the magical properties that her hair possessed. The truth of the matter was that Old Lady Gothel wanted that magic for herself, just to stay forever young. But Rapunzel, as it turns out, is not the kind of girl to just sit back and play the damsel in distress. Sure, she's a little naive as we start the story, but she goes on this whirlwind adventure and discovers that the woman she's called "Mother" all these years has been lying to her. And then, the fury begins. Just a whirl of wind and arms and fingernails. And hair.

Should You Date Her?
Absolutely. Rapunzel's the kind of girl who obviously does not need some guy to come along and save her. Well, she does. But not for the traditional reasons. Flynn Ryder shows up and just happens to be in the wrong place at the right time. Rapunzel's looking to make an escape from her tower and Flynn's arrival just happens to be serendipitous happenstance. I'm sure I used that phrase all wrong. Anyway, she manipulates him into helping her leave home for the first time. She's excited and a little jumpy at first, but she quickly learns how to take care of herself in the real world. In no way does she let herself become a lesser character than her leading man, standing equal with him throughout the film. And, in the end, she's the one who saves his life, not the other way around.

According to one source (Wikipedia), Brave's Merida will be added to the Disney princess roster later this year. I won't go into why she's datable, but she gets my stamp of approval. Mostly because she doesn't take any crap off anyone and can handle a bow and arrow like a champ. Also, I think Disney should consider adding Princess Leia to the line-up as well. Disney now owns the rights to Star Wars, and Leia is a princess. But I wouldn't date her. She says she likes nice guys, but she's really attracted to the bad boy. Also, she kissed her brother. Not a peck on the cheek. Full on lip lock. I'm just sayin'.

There you have it. If you're a guy, which of these princesses would you hypothetically date? If you're a girl, which of these princesses would you like your son to hypothetically bring home?